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“When my father was king, he wanted everything to be white and gold. Which is why we all spent so much time outside. It pissed him, of course, but it was blinding to be in here. And ever since Nickolai took over, it has become his say on how this place looks, so he has been trying to incorporate more natural colors throughout the castle to soften the marble,” she explained.

“The library and dining room were the first things to change, and he is currently remodeling some of the bedrooms. But those will probably be the last things for a while so he doesn’t give our mother a heart attack.

” She finished with a chuckle, and I joined her.

We eventually reached the gym on the first floor, walking into an expansive space, slightly smaller than the ballroom, with the floors completely covered in mats.

Mirrors lined the opposite wall, and racks of training weapons were sporadically placed along them.

Many toned bodies were already filling the space, looking both sweaty and tired.

That tiredness immediately dissipated at the sight of Nessy, who dropped her usual kind and sweet face for a stern and judgemental one.

She eyed each fighter, and it was the most I had seen her fit into the role of army commander as she nodded to a few of the people while clicking her tongue at the rest. An apparent sign that they needed to do better.

One kid got nervous as we walked past him, and he lost his footing, which earned him a knee to the face.

The sight had me cringing in sympathy for him, but there was nothing I could do to help.

If he didn’t learn now, it would eventually be his life taken rather than a broken nose.

Nessy continued, pointing out a few of the new things the gym had received, such as the locker rooms and fighting dummies, before leaving me to grab what I assumed was the coin pouch she had returned with.

We made our way to the door along the wall and once outside, she dropped her facade, noticeably relaxing with each step away from the castle as she soaked up the sun that hit our skin and the smell of the freshly trimmed grass.

I didn’t even think about the question before it rushed from my mouth, “Do you like being the Commander?”

Her gaze shifted to me nervously. “Of course!”

I gave her an incredulous look. “Seriously?”

She sighed but didn’t say anything until we were further from the castle. “It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just not what I imagined for myself.”

“What did you imagine, luncheons and balls?” I teased.

“A life,” she said, looking at the little kids who started to run around on the road as we got closer to the city.

“You want kids?” My brows narrowed as I tried to take in this new information and imagine her as a mother.

“Yes and no,” she clarified. “I want to travel, fall in love, or at least have some form of fulfillment. It’s not like I’m asking to find my mate, but I’m so tired of getting to know each man and woman that comes into my army, just to be knocking on their family's door a month or a year later to tell them that their loved one is dead.”

I stopped mid-step. “Wait a second. . . mate?”

She looked at me bewildered. “You haven't heard about mates?” I shook my head and her eyes widened. “You’re kidding!”

“To be fair, I don’t get out much.”

“True, but I guess I also have high expectations. Truthfully, mates are rare, and most of the bonds don’t form into place right away. But I heard that when they do, it’s magnetic,” she finished, her voice full of awe at the mere notion.

Magnetic?

“Is it only between fae?” I asked hesitantly.

“Unfortunately. That is what makes it harder to come across, especially now that some of the kingdoms are mixed.”

Going back to her earlier comment, I asked, “Is there really that much death right now, even with there being no wars?”

“There may not be any wars at the moment, but we are constantly fighting rebel groups, assassins, and monsters. And any amount of death is always too much.”

“Is that how your dad died?”

Her lips pursed and she nodded, “One of the rebellion groups broke into his camp while he was traveling to Brenallin to find Nickolai, they slipped a steel powder in his drink, and the healers were only able to postpone it reaching his heart long enough for Nickolai to get back and for us to say our goodbyes.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, unsure of what else to say. Instead, I watched the kids play, understanding a sliver of her pain as I was reminded of what I would never have.

We walked into the city, the depressing turn of the conversation fading as we took in the decorations that filled the streets.

Banners were hung with the image of the setting sun behind a bowl of various fruits, vegetables, and grains while upbeat music played from a group in the square—filling the city with song and dance.

Giggles bubble out of two little girls as they ran between Nessy and me, which had us glancing at each other with growing smiles.

“I forgot Harvest Day was coming up,” I stated aloud. The reminder of the day looming just beyond the holiday sent a pain through my chest.

“Nickolai has a big party planned in a few days, but he has been really secretive about what to expect. Normally, there is a formal ball, but I have heard that he is doing without it this year,” Nessy replied.

We rounded a corner toward what looked like the armory. “I don’t celebrate holidays much.”

She looked at me, disappointment filling her features. “You have to! I need you by my side so I’m not alone when all the guys are being chased after by the vultures.”

“I don’t know. . .”

“There will be wine,” she enticed, wiggling her eyebrows for added persuasion.

I narrowed my eyes on her. “Have you been talking to Ysabel?”

“That’s not the point,” she said, dodging the question.

I snickered, “What is the point?”

“The point is. . . I’ll buy you a new super hot dress.”

“Are you bribing me?” The smile on my face was now well established. I've never had a friend, let alone someone who wanted me to do things with them so badly that they were willing to bribe me.

“Yes, now will you do it?”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”

“Yes!” she squealed, causing a few of the people around us to look in our direction. Heat filled my cheeks at the sudden attention and I quickly grabbed her arm, dragging her into the nearest store to escape it.