Page 83 of Sidhe (The Incubus Saga #3)

Sasha

It was a nice dream that chased Sasha into waking. He was on top of a hill, looking out over a vast landscape that reminded him of home. His real home. Then again, what was home but where Nathan was, so maybe the fae plane wasn’t as much home to Sasha anymore.

In this world, Nathan was standing beside him, hand curled possessively and lovingly at his lower back.

Everything was green and bright and glorious, colors painting the landscape with flowers, and buildings Sasha knew were homes, filled with people that looked happy, safe .

In this world Sasha had no doubts, no fears.

He smiled as he looked out and saw all the people he loved living happily, Nathan leaning in to whisper, “I can give you this and so much more. Just be with me…always.”

It was an easy enough thing to agree to.

There was nothing else Sasha wanted. He turned to Nathan ready to accept, ready to say, yes, of course, this is what I want , but when he looked and Nathan turned his head to look back at him, red on black eyes burned into Sasha like a warning and jarred him roughly awake.

He came to full consciousness, rolling toward the warmth near him, wanting to hold Nathan and banish that awful image from his mind, before remembering that it was more than just a dream.

Sasha flinched back from the warm spot that was quickly cooling next to him, no longer holding the form and weight of Nathan that Sasha knew had been lying there not long ago.

Only it wasn’t Nathan that had been there, Sasha reminded himself, it was something else, something that meant to trick him, to lure him into choosing him just as Malak had lured Nathan.

Not a chance in Hell , Sasha thought with conviction.

As he crawled out of bed, hating how refreshed that forced sleep had made him feel, it disturbed Sasha to find himself stripped down from the T-shirt and jeans he had been wearing to just his boxers.

After dressing quickly, Sasha moved to the door only to freeze in place as someone knocked just before he could open it. Nathan stood outside.

“You’re awake.” Nathan smiled from the other side of the threshold, compassion and softness strong in his red on black eyes that flickered to green as their gazes met.

Sasha couldn’t help noticing that Nathan wore dark jeans, a red T-shirt, and a black button down over it, like some awful parody of Malak’s suit. He wondered if Nathan had actually put those clothes on or if they had manifested naturally that way.

“Yeah. Thanks for…” Sasha trailed, holding gazes with Nathan as best he could, much as half of him wanted to sink down into the carpet and weep, “for…leaving me alone last night.”

Nathan gauged him a moment, as if trying to assess if Sasha was being honest. “You’re not quite where I want you to be, but I know you’ll see things my way.

That’s all I want from you, not domination.

Not over you. I just want you to be a part of this.

It was so hard last night,” he said, as he reached up to run the back of his fingers along Sasha’s cheek, “not touching you. God . You have no idea how hard that was.” He leaned up to kiss Sasha.

Instinct had Sasha flinching back.

“ Please ,” Nathan said rather than get angry or pull away, hovering there, his breath mingling with Sasha’s and smelling strangely like nothing—nothing at all.

Staring at those lips so close, the green eyes that were a wonderful veil, Sasha’s own eyes darted past Nathan to see that they were not alone. Solrin and Jim stood in the hallway, like sentinels on guard.

Sasha told himself that he was feeding the part of Nathan that was still Nathan as he turned back and allowed the kiss. That alone had him pressing the connection deeper, enjoying it even, the way Nathan’s lips and tongue moved against his own in such a familiar way.

“All you have to do is ask, baby,” Nathan whispered when they pulled apart, “and I can give you all the power and strength you could ever want. You won’t fear. You won’t worry. I can give you the whole world and I will, just like I showed you last night.”

Sasha knew Nathan meant the dream.

He stroked Sasha’s face once more then stepped back. “I have to take care of a few things. There are a lot of foolish people out there trying to wreck this before I’ve even started. I’m going to have to…make it a little more difficult for them to get to us.”

“I thought you just wanted to rid the world of evil,” Sasha said carefully, “so no one has to lose the people they love like we did.”

Nathan smiled patronizingly at him. “That’s only the beginning, baby. Evil in the world goes further than that. I can’t just let things be when I have the power to do so much good. The world needs me to help… lead things in the right direction.”

Sasha fought a shiver. He nodded at Nathan like he understood, like he agreed, because if he didn’t play along, he knew he’d be screaming and pounding his fists against Nathan’s chest the next moment, and maybe after that he’d find himself waking up as a willing servant like Jim.

“We need to fortify this place a bit better,” Nathan said. “This is home base and I want it protected. You can join me downstairs when you’re ready. Sol, Jim, let’s go,” he said as he began to move away from Sasha toward the stairs, heading down to do god knows what.

Sasha stood very still as Nathan left him, the worst kind of nausea hitting his stomach as Solrin and Jim followed without a word. He managed to hold it together, letting Solrin pass, but when Jim got close, he couldn’t stop himself.

He grabbed the front of Jim’s shirt and pulled, pushing him up against the doorframe of the bedroom, and glared into his face, not caring that amber eyes were what he had to look at. “Where’s Alex?” Sasha hissed. “What did you do to her? What did he do to you ?”

“Sasha…” Jim said in a low voice, gaze darting past him to where Nathan had disappeared. The amber eyes made it impossible to read him. “Alex is fine. She’s just downstairs. I’d never let anything happen to her. This isn’t what you think.”

“Sure it’s not.” Sasha pushed away from Jim, disgusted and shaken, and retreated back into the bedroom.

Jim’s hand was on his arm in moments, pulling him back, and when Sasha turned angrily to face him again, he found himself forced against the doorframe in Jim’s place.

Sasha growled, showing fangs, his eyes flashing red in the face of Jim’s amber. But before he had the chance to fight any further, Jim tucked into the crook of his neck and whispered as fast and as quietly as he could.

For a moment Sasha barely heard the words, but then he registered them, he understood, and… God , what Jim was telling him changed everything. Sasha felt sick, defeated. He was almost certain he would fall to the ground right that moment and never get up.

“It’ll be okay,” Jim said, so certain, like Nathan sounded every time he said it, and that only made it worse.

Somehow, Sasha didn’t fall, but remained against the doorframe even after Jim pulled away and went after the others down the stairs.

Sasha stood there for what had to have been several minutes, and when he finally moved it was mechanical, jerky movements in the opposite direction.

He left his door open as he headed for the library, not really thinking of where he was going other than away from everyone else.

Still, he was relieved when he saw Shiarra step out of the library into the hallway, as if she’d been waiting for him. He hurried toward his aunt. He’d been so happy she’d been allowed to stay, and was even happier now, having someone he could talk to about this honestly.

But then he realized how strangely smug and pleased she looked, hip cocked with a delicate hand resting on it. Sasha opened his mouth to question this, how anyone could possibly be confident right now, when she forcefully took him by the arm and dragged him into the library.

“Come here, sexy, we need to talk.”

Sasha blinked dumbly at her. “Uhh…what?”

“Did Nathan, before this mess, spill the beans that Ula’s friend Danny was actually Puck in disguise?”

Sasha pulled his arm from his aunt as they neared the large sofa in the center of the room, and stepped away from her, mute with confusion.

Shiarra winked at him. “Great gal, your aunt. Probably a little pissed at me for the switch though.”

“Wait…what—?” Sasha backed away another step.

She followed him. “Nathan knew that I—meaning Danny, not Shiarra—was actually Puck. I knew he’d send me away, so I devised a plan to make him think he had.” She—he— Puck wiggled Shiarra’s fingers at him in a little wave. “Hi.”

Sasha gaped, filled with a wave of immense relief one moment only to have that brief good feeling crash away from him. It was too late. Puck’s power meant nothing compared to Malak. What could he possibly do to help?

“You talked to Jim, right?” Puck asked, still with Shiarra’s voice, and face, and…everything.

“I, uhh…yes, but what does that have—”

“Then do as he said.”

Sasha backed away another step. Was Puck in on this? Were they all fools? What Jim had told him…

Puck, perfectly executing Shiarra’s saunter, strode from the library with another playful wave, leaving Sasha to the dust and books.

He lowered himself onto the sofa numbly, sitting silently for several minutes more, trying to come to terms with everything Jim had told him, with Puck.

There was nothing else for him to do but what he’d been told, and the thought of that was worse than any of the nauseating feelings Nathan had stirred within him recently.

He went back to his room as mechanically as he had left it, showered, changed back into his clothes, then prepared to head downstairs to find Nathan. He stopped and changed course when he heard Nathan and Walter’s voices coming from the library.

It seemed Nathan had caught Walter looking up ways to protect against him in the time Sasha had been gone, but Nathan didn’t sound angry. He praised Walter for thinking understandably of protecting himself and others, but not of harming Nathan in any way.

Walter responded honestly. “I do not trust you, Nathan, but I would never want to hurt you.”

Sasha entered on those words, because they mirrored his own feelings only too well. He called to Nathan with a voice he knew sounded numb, but he didn’t know how else to make it sound. “Nathan…I’m ready now.”

He closed his eyes to steal himself, and when he opened them again, Nathan had turned to him and was already moving closer.

“I understand how Walter feels,” Sasha said. “I can’t even imagine what you’re capable of. None of us can. That scares me. I look at you and I’m…terrified.” He squeezed his eyes shut a moment more, feeling hot tears slip free down his cheeks. “But I don’t want to be. Nate…”

“Let me show you how it can be,” Nathan said as he reached him, not bothering to change his eyes from red on black to green this time. “Then you’ll understand. You won’t be afraid anymore. Like Jim. And it can be the three of us again.”

“Y-Yeah…show me, Nate,” Sasha said. It was the only way.

Smiling brilliantly, Nathan merely brushed Sasha’s hair at first, kissed him briefly, leaving Walter completely forgotten. Then those two fingers came up and pressed firm to Sasha’s forehead.

Nothing Sasha had told himself earlier could have prepared him for how it felt the moment those fingers made contact with his skin; the sheer rush of heat, power, pure energy, all carried on the wings of Nathan’s emotions that sang with victory.

It was just as Jim said it would be, so glorious, so thrilling that Sasha never wanted to feel any other way again.

He could feel his eyes flickering, feel how his body was changing and growing, so powerful, so fitting to be at Nathan’s side.

When Nathan pulled his hand away, Sasha knew, knew with every fiber in him that there was no going back now.