Page 57 of Sidhe (The Incubus Saga #3)

Later, when Nathan was called back to the bar, he found the twins cooing all over Jim and Alex.

“You know, I think the term saucy minx was invented just for the likes of you two,” Nathan said, grinning wide as he approached them.

The atmosphere had completely changed in the bar with the twins’ arrival, though maybe that was because Jim and Alex hadn’t yet caught their breaths from the blonde whirlwind that had swept through.

Epica’s eyes fell on Nathan first, but Attoinette squealed, “Oh my god ,” and threw her arms around him. “Nathan! You’re gorgeous!”

Epica sauntered up less violently, hip cocked when she stopped to get a better look, her eyes appraising Nathan slowly. “ Shit ,” she said, eyebrows raised, “can’t disagree that you make one fine incubus, Nathan.”

“We thought there’d be all this, I don’t know,” Attoinette started rattling off, still with her arms around Nathan’s neck though she had stopped squeezing the life out of him, “like maybe there’d be some sign over your head blinking ‘not quite right’ or something, under the circumstances.”

“Not being normally initiated, she means,” Epica supplied.

“But you .” Attoinette shook her head in amazement as she looked at him. “It’s crazy! If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were born an incubus.”

Nathan refrained from commenting that several people had told him that long before he ever met a sex demon in real life. “Wait ‘til you see Sasha,” he smirked.

“Where is he?” Attoinette asked, finally releasing Nathan and glancing wildly about the bar like maybe she just hadn’t spotted him yet.

“Upstairs, working on getting some contacts here to help us out,” Nathan said with a shrug, like the apocalypse wasn’t a dire situation. “Come on, I’ll take you up.”

He let Attoinette take his arm, and gingerly put his hand on Epica’s lower back to guide her.

He felt a little like his old self again—a girl on either side of him.

But as they headed off, he picked up on the dull thrum of dissent from Jim and Alex.

Nathan knew the twins could sense the emotions as easily as he could, because both of them faltered.

“Everything else okay?” Epica asked. “I mean, I know things are serious. Sasha gave us the rundown when he called. But we’re not throwing in the towel just yet, I hope.”

They had just reached the stairs. Nathan paused as the twins paused, looked back and, naturally, his eyes landed on Jim.

“You know, why don’t you lovely ladies go up without me?

Have a couple minutes of alone time. Sasha’s right up the stairs, end of the hall, last door on the right. He’ll be thrilled to see you.”

Epica nodded with a tight smile, Attoinette nodding as well and grinning as she grabbed her sister’s arm in lieu of Nathan’s, and they headed up the stairs.

Nathan met eyes with Jim again before heading out a different door, one that led to the med room where the hallway was small and mostly separate from the other parts of downstairs. Without having to look behind him, Nathan knew his brother would follow.

He thought of going into the med room completely, but chose instead to lean back against the wall of the hallway, watching as Jim came toward him.

“Shit, Jim, I almost think you wanna take a shot at me,” Nathan said, smiling sideways.

He tapped his jaw. “Go ahead. With your strength, it’ll still hurt as much as always.

Hit me for being an idiot. For being a selfish sonuvabitch. That’s what you think of me, right?”

Jim scowled. “Nathan, this isn’t something where we can beat the shit out of each other and come out better for it at the end.

This is your decision to make. I know that.

But I have every right to think it’s a piss-poor idea to risk the fate of the world on you finally being the right species for your libido. ”

Nathan flinched at the terse, angry words. He pushed from the wall. “Do you honestly think for one second I would make this decision if Walter said that me being an incubus would for certain mean losing the war? This is a might, Jim. A maybe. I’m not bowing out.”

“But you’re not stepping up either,” Jim countered, the few feet between them suddenly feeling much too short a distance.

“We can solve the problem of Sasha’s deal another way and still make sure you’re who the light side needs you to be.

You can’t just cozy up to Sasha and embrace this like there aren’t going to be consequences. This isn’t like you.”

Only it was very much like him , Jim just couldn’t see it.

Nathan was no coward, and he didn’t make rash decisions that put himself before others either.

That was the whole point. He knew better than to think he was anything as special as everyone kept thinking, that him being at the forefront would make some kind of difference.

If they weren’t relying so much on him then everyone would put more effort into being a team.

That’s what was going to win the war. Not Nathan Grier.

Being an incubus, suddenly having an out from having to make that final end-all decision, whatever it might have been, Nathan could stand back and really look at himself.

He would have ruined everything.

“I’m not saying I’m certain,” Nathan said, his defensiveness slipping away as he stared into the deep blue eyes that always knew how to weaken him.

“But there’s a chance. There’s also a chance that we never could have fixed Sasha’s deal without this, and at best he would have had to watch me grow old over the years and die while he’d have to live on for centuries all alone.

At least like this we might be able to salvage something from the mistakes we’ve made.

And I know this might be a mistake too,” he said as soon as he saw Jim’s brow furrow further and his mouth twist to speak, “I know that, Jim. I’m not asking for you to pat me on the back.

Just let me try. We still have a chance to win.

Please. I’m asking you for that much . Please. ”

“Nathan…” Jim shook his head, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose like he had a sudden headache.

“Let me try, Jim. If I’m wrong, maybe there’s still a chance Puck can reverse this before it’s too late.

I’m pretty sure when the shit hits the fan we’ll find out whether or not I’m right real fast. But we have time.

I’m gonna talk with Walter later too. I honestly think we can do this without having to…

” Nathan trailed. He didn’t know what he was going to say. Maybe…

Without having to rely on me.

Jim was silent for a long time, eyes downcast when he finally opened them again.

His gaze drifted slowly up to meet Nathan’s.

“I still think this is a bad idea. But…” he took a breath, nodded, “of course you deserve the chance to try, Nate. I’m sorry.

Go…start your training or whatever.” He grinned a little lopsided, reaching out to push on Nathan’s shoulder.

“Alex and I will keep calling the contacts we’ve gathered.

There should be a good amount of people starting to arrive by tomorrow already. Things are gonna get crazy.”

Nathan gave his brother a good smack on the shoulder. “Thanks, Jesse James. Really.” He cocked his hand like always into the shape of a gun.

Jim’s returning gesture was muted, a half-hearted BANG, to show that he was still worried, still hesitant, his emotions in turmoil, but he had faith in Nathan enough to at least let him try. If that was mainly out of guilt, well, Nathan wasn’t about to complain.

To say that the twins were all over him and Sasha was putting it mildly.

Mainly all over Sasha , and probably because he was a much more appealing meal choice now being human.

That would have worried Nathan if he didn’t know they wouldn’t dare do anything about it—he hoped.

They were still in the library where the twins had found Sasha.

Nathan was trying to pay attention to what Epica was telling him while watching Attoinette run her fingers through Sasha’s black hair, practically sitting in his lap—no, actually sitting in his lap while they lounged on the sofa.

Nathan and Epica were standing and Sasha and Attoinette were on the sofa.

With Attoinette pawing and petting and… god damn it, why couldn’t Nathan stop thinking about sex?

“Because you’re near Sasha right now, sweetheart, and since he’s your intended ‘target’, as it were, you’re feeling drawn to him and haven’t learned to control that yet,” Epica answered what Nathan had thought was internal monologue.

“Is that going to be lesson number one?” He returned his attention to the shorter-haired blonde.

Epica was wearing a snug, low-cut, cropped tank top, royal blue with tight blue jeans.

It was…distracting, Nathan found; that little star tattoo he remembered, the blue streak in her hair, how just all around fuck me she looked.

Nathan shook his head. Swallowed. His eyes went straight to the blue star tattoo again.

“Nathan,” Epica laughed, “we’re already on lesson one, remember? We’re practicing wheedling out foreign emotions and pheromones. Pheromones from others can still affect you if you’re not paying attention. You’re supposed to be trying to resist what I’m sending you.”

“I…what now?” Nathan blinked at her. Then, like a splash of cold water, his mind cleared and he felt supremely stupid. “Crap, resisting. Right. Trying to resist the sex signal. Was…totally attempting to do that.” Only he had so totally forgotten they were even doing an exercise.

“Attempting and failing ,” Attoinette giggled from the sofa. And from on top of Sasha.

Nathan’s feelings of jealousy were definitely his own, even if some of the sex thoughts had been from Epica and her invading pheromones. “I was trying,” Nathan defended, “I just…sort of lost my focus.”