Page 52 of Sidhe (The Incubus Saga #3)

Sasha clenched tight, his mouth slightly open in pleasure when his expression suddenly fell. Whatever had startled him just then, Nathan started to feel it too, enough that he was pulled brutally from his euphoria.

“N-Nate…” Sasha shivered.

It felt like clawed fingers were tearing at Nathan’s heart, even though Sasha’s hands were human and holding onto him gently.

Sasha lifted up until he was nearly sitting. Nathan accommodated, still maintaining their connection. Sasha took Nathan’s face in his hands. “You feel it…” he said, maybe a little amazed but also heartbroken. “Forgive me.”

“I already did. I said I did,” Nathan said, stomach tight since the friction and heat between them was still building.

Sasha shook his head, more tears gathering in his eyes and making them shimmer.

“Forgive me for this . For what I gave up. This feeling…it’s how close we are, Nate, how close you are to turning, right on the damn border, but I can’t bring you over.

Even though we both want it…we can’t go past this. I’m sorry…”

Nathan understood. There was an absence, but more than that he could feel everything Sasha was feeling, the deep remorse shared equally between them.

Everything was in place except for that final step, the part Malak had taken away.

They could tangibly feel the loss of it and it burned inside of them.

Pulling Sasha up further into his lap, Nathan gathered the incubus to him. He was still so deeply buried in Sasha and he knew they couldn’t stop here just because it stung, just because it broke just a little more of their hearts to taste something they could never have.

“No,” Nathan shook his head, taking Sasha’s hands and holding them tight, “I already said we’ll find a way, and we will.

Malak doesn’t get to win in this. Not this.

Not with you. We’ll find a way,” Nathan said again, bringing Sasha’s hands to his lips and kissing the incubus’ fingers, a subtle movement of his hips starting their rocking again.

“And one day we’re gonna go flying, and I’m not gonna be afraid.

You know why?” He kissed Sasha’s lips, rocking slow and steady so that Sasha trembled in his arms.

“Why…?” Sasha gasped, even through his tears and their shared sorrow in the circuit.

Nathan forced a grin, forced it to be real. “Because. I’ll have wings too. Then we can take all the time in the world to be stupid with each other and mess this up. But every time, I promise you, every time…we will find our way home.”

He touched his father’s wedding at that. Home.

Touched Sasha’s medallion. Home .

“We’ll find a way,” Sasha echoed Nathan’s promise, sounding almost like he believed it, his neck arching with the renewed vitality of Nathan’s thrusts.

Nathan whispered to Sasha, keeping the incubus’ face close to his own so they never had to stop kissing; whispered nothing, whispered syllables that might have been words but couldn’t quite string together.

Every lift of his hips, every rock of Sasha downwards against him was like a morphine drip, making everything else fade away around them.

They were close, and it was the craziest thing being able to feel Sasha’s climax building while feeling his own too.

“ Nathan ,” the incubus gasped, his fingers raking down the back of Nathan’s neck where he clung to the tiny hairs, his back arching up until his chest was right to Nathan’s lips and Nathan couldn’t help licking up to Sasha’s Adam’s apple.

Sasha jerked, his nails digging into Nathan’s scalp, and then he came between their bodies with a broken cry. Nathan felt the urgency of his own climax building that much more. He rocked harder into Sasha, seeking a fast and dirty end, until he came, hard and satisfying.

He didn’t remember much after that, but he knew, once he fell asleep wrapped around Sasha, that he was right where he was meant to be.

The next morning, Nathan was beyond pleased that Sasha woke up with a smile, and even if everything was not okay, it was on its way—at least between them.

“So what are we supposed to do now?” Alex asked, once they were all gathered in the bar area. The other seals and boarders that had been around had left, so it was merely Nathan, Sasha, Jim, Alex, Walter, and Wally lying on the countertop in cat form.

Iain was gone. Wally hadn’t chirped once since they burned his body.

“Did you ever stop to wonder, Nathan, why Malak was willing to make that amendment to your deal?” Walter asked. “Why he wanted you to return all those dark sidhe to the Veil?”

“He said it was because…he hated disorder or some shit like that. That they were all doing their own thing instead of being an army like they were supposed to be if Jim led them.”

“That wasn’t a lie,” Walter said. “But why merely bring them back to the Veil?”

Nathan already knew this punch line. “So he could try again.”

“With a new powerful man to lead them.”

“Solrin. He wanted to start over fresh and we gave him everything he needed. His soldiers. Even his god damn General .” Nathan slammed his fist onto the countertop.

“Solrin made his own choices, Nathan. He was not your fault,” Walter said.

But Iain was. Nathan would never be able to shake that, the absence of Iain because he hadn’t been quick enough, hadn’t known what to do.

“So what does this mean?” Jim asked.

“With Malak’s army restored and the Veil failing more rapidly, the dark fae can cross over to the human plane more easily now.

” Walter looked down, his dark expression deepening further and making him look very human.

“They need only pass over the fields of Gehenna, the place between worlds, and they will be a unified mass at your doorstep. Gehenna is said to be the place evil will be destroyed, but now… I thought there was more time to prepare you for this.”

“Wait, what are you saying?” Nathan sat up straight on his stool. “Where’s this Gehenna place?”

“It is where most of the battle between the light and dark fae took place during the first war, where the Veil is weakest. Here.”

Alex blinked. “Here?”

“The fields beyond the Gatehouse toward the town. Here .”

The blood rushed from Nathan’s face. They had been standing on the battlefield of the apocalypse and they hadn’t even known it. “And because…because we helped give Malak his army back, because I amended the deal, they’re stronger and more organized now, and…and Solrin is leading them?”

Walter’s lack of response was more than enough of an answer.

“ Fuck. ” Nathan’s fists clenched at his sides. “How long do we have until they make it through the Veil and cross the fields?”

“Not long. Weeks. Maybe days.”

“And that’ll just be it?” Sasha asked. “Malak’s army here, the apocalypse, the end is fucking nigh ?”

For once, Walter did not flinch at the curse. “It means the real battle will be at hand, yes. And Nathan will have to choose a side. That is where your final decision will come into play, Nathan. The side you fight on is the one that will win.”

Nathan huffed. There was only one side he would ever choose.

“Well…doesn’t that sound boring ?”

Startled by the unexpected voice, the group turned in unison toward the end of the bar. Nathan felt his whole face go hot at the sight of Puck sipping a drink in that same stool he had appeared to them on the first time. Wally gave a quiet hiss.

“What the fuck do you want?” Nathan snarled.

“Whoa, geez.” Puck held up his hands, standing and leaving his summoned drink.

“What’s with all the animosity? I thought we were friends.

I warned you of Solrin, you’ll recall. Come on now, I don’t mean any harm.

” Puck moved right in, throwing an arm over Walter’s shoulders like they were best buddies. Walter looked annoyed.

“We never actually made a deal with you,” Nathan said, “and in case you haven’t been paying attention, Solrin’s gone. And we’re one friend short.”

Puck didn’t lose his grin, but he released Walter’s shoulders.

“You did the best you could, and I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend, I am. So even though you say we didn’t actually make a deal, I have no problem keeping up my end of one.

Believe me, kids, a win for Malak is not a win for me.

I like this world as it is. Let me help you. ”

“We don’t need your help,” Jim jumped in.

“What he said,” Nathan said. “No offense, pal, but you’re the last person whose debt I want to be in.”

Puck merely smiled wider. “Hey, I get it. Why trust me, right? Maybe I’ll show up if you need me anyway, who knows. But in the meantime, just so you know how much I appreciate your efforts with that kid, I’d like to give you something, Nathan.”

Offers from fae always came with a price. Nathan knew that well enough. “Listen—”

“Just think of it as a…gift.” Puck shrugged. One side of his mouth rose a little higher than the other, making his smirk wicked.

He snapped his fingers and, in that moment, Nathan felt the world around him go black.

Puck didn’t know how lucky he was that Nathan actually felt pretty good when he blinked awake and sat up.

“Nathan!” Jim called, right there beside him.

Nathan was on a bed, his and Sasha’s bed, and some guy with black hair was lying next to him, turned away.

Nathan didn’t give the other figure much mind at first. “What the hell happened? Everyone okay?” he asked his brother.

There was no one else in the room and Nathan couldn’t help being worried by that.

“I…thought you two would want to be alone for a while,” Jim said. “Nathan, do you understand what happened?”

“Huh?” Nathan scrubbed a hand back through his hair.

Damn he felt good. Even though he was still groggy, he felt amazing .

“No. What happened? What did Puck do to me? And who the hell is this…guy…” Nathan trailed as soon as he took a closer look at the man beside him, his stomach plummeting to his toes. It wasn’t some stranger.

It was Sasha .

“Holy shit,” Nathan gasped, rolling Sasha more onto his back so he could look at him. Sasha looked okay, just sleeping, but he had black hair, black eyebrows, and something else about him made it so that Nathan just knew, “He’s human…”

“Yeah…” Jim said slowly, like it wasn’t the most amazing thing ever.

Nathan turned to look at his brother again and saw that Jim’s brow was tightly knit. “Dude, what? He’s okay, right? Got dark hair like his dad since he’s human now, but so what? I can live without the red. He’s not hurt or anything, is he?”

“No, Nate,” Jim assured him. “He just hasn’t woken up yet. But, uhh…see, Sasha being human isn’t the only thing Puck did.”

“What else?”

Jim stood and backed slightly away from the bed, looking toward the bathroom. The door was open and the light was already on. “Go look at yourself, Nathan.”

Panic settled somewhere low in Nathan’s stomach. Of course Puck had also done something to him, or he wouldn’t have passed out. But whatever Puck had done, it was bad enough that Jim couldn’t just tell Nathan; he needed to see it for himself.

Nathan suddenly had this horrible image of his face hideous or disfigured. It would be just like Puck, a gift with a price. Not that Nathan would ever have asked for Sasha to be human. He really did love Sasha just as he was. But still. This made things easier.

Slowly, Nathan threw his legs off the bed and got up. He walked toward the bathroom in a way that kept him out of line with the mirror until he was ready. When he was, he looked back at Jim a moment, still seeing that worried look, then stepped into the bathroom and looked up.

Nathan was at first startled because he didn’t look at all bad, and for a second he wondered if Jim was just messing with him.

Then he took a few steps closer to the mirror.

Something was…different. He looked brighter and healthier than ever before.

And his eyes, they were shimmering so green they almost… glowed.

“Oh fuck .”