Page 73 of Sidhe (The Incubus Saga #3)

Finally, he squinted enough to start letting in some light, pleased it was dim in the room, whatever room he happened to be in, probably the bedroom, his and Sasha’s bedroom, which was one of the last places he wanted to be.

He was turned onto his side, facing where there was a chair leaned back by the closet, only Nathan could see that the chair had been scooted closer to the bed, right next to it, and someone was sitting there.

Walter, sitting casually with his arms leaned forward to rest on his thighs, had the nerve to smile at him.

“Hello, Nathan. I am glad to see you’re awake.

It was not an easy transition, even though you gave yourself over willingly.

You will feel better after some rest. Time is short as you know, but…

” as if there was something beyond Nathan to focus on, Walter’s gaze drifted, “I don’t think it will hurt anything if you take a little time to be together. ”

Nathan’s mind was still moving a little sluggishly, still half unconscious maybe, because he didn’t initially hear that last part. “Together…?” he repeated, so sore he didn’t really want to roll over but he had to.

He bumped into a solid form beside him.

“Sasha…?”

Beautiful and alive, Sasha was lying next to him, leaned back against the headboard. His eyes were vibrant and shimmering. And his hair, it was red , red the way Nathan had first loved it. Sasha was glowing like he was infused with light and life, looking positively glorious in a T-shirt and jeans.

“Is this…real…?” Nathan asked of Walter softly, though he couldn’t look away, couldn’t risk even blinking for fear of Sasha not really being there.

“It is very real, Nathan,” Walter said amused from behind him.

Sasha took Nathan’s hand and pressed the palm to his cheek, so Nathan could feel the warmth, the life flowing through him. “I’m real, Nate,” he said, his voice low and gentle, caressing the words and Nathan’s name like no one else could.

Nathan lifted his other hand so he could hold Sasha’s face. “How? Even if Puck switched us…reversed what he did, you…you were already gone.”

“True,” Walter said, “but not so much gone that I could not, with Dave’s permission and assistance, of course…help things along a little. His incubus body did the rest. It was only lead, after all.”

Nathan laughed, laughed and pulled Sasha’s head toward his own until their foreheads touched.

“Hey,” he said in a shaky voice that he didn’t feel the least self-conscious about, “you’re like a big Crayola crayon straight from the box again,” he chuckled, allowing his hands on either side of Sasha’s face to push up into the soft strands of hair, silky and red and perfect.

Sasha laughed too, eyes closing blissfully and then opening again to glow at Nathan surreally the way he remembered from when they first met.

“Yeah, full-on sex demon,” Sasha said. “Put back together and everything. But what about you, Nate? Are you alright?” he added with concern, one hand reached out to touch Nathan’s chest where the bullet had gone through.

“You died ,” Nathan said like it must not have sunk in enough for Sasha to really get it. “Died as in dead, baby, gone for good, and you’re asking if I’m okay?”

A crooked, shameful smile responded, Sasha’s eyes lowering, his lashes fluttering, and then they flicked back up to Nathan’s face. “I’m good, Nate,” his hand on Nathan’s chest clutched and twisted into his shirt, “you have no idea how good.”

Nathan knew there was something important left unsaid. He could tell by the way Sasha glanced past him to Walter, as if asking permission. Nathan looked back over his shoulder too, even though it meant his hands had to slip from Sasha’s face to his shoulders.

“Sasha was dead, Nathan,” Walter said, “I merely gave a small push after Puck’s work was done, what little I was capable of to help Sasha’s incubus healing save him.

But he was still dead. And you should know that death is the final payment of any deal.

” His head tilted just so, hinting rather than curious.

Hinting at what those words really meant.

Heat flushed to Nathan’s face as he came to understand, his throat tightening, head whipping back around to see Sasha grinning madly at him with damp eyes.

“Malak can’t hold power over a dead man,” Sasha said. The hand he still had twisted in Nathan’s shirt tugged him back in close, their foreheads pressing tight again. “I’m free.”

Nathan kissed Sasha so sudden and firm, they fell back onto the bed, toppling sideways. Sasha giggled up into Nathan’s mouth before sucking him in, tongues tangling like it was life, this moment together, Nathan half on top of Sasha and pressing him into the pillows.

They stayed like that probably longer than they should have considering they weren’t alone.

“Damn, Walt, why didn’t you tell me about this loophole?” Nathan spoke into Sasha’s mouth, unable to stop nibbling on those soft, full lips. “If you woulda told me, I wouldn’t have even had to think about Malak’s offer.”

“You considered it?” Sasha pulled back enough to avoid Nathan’s continued succession of kisses, gaping up at him.

“You were dead ,” Nathan said plainly. “Let’s think back to when I was taken from you, and then ask me if I considered making a deal.”

Even though it was a fair argument, and a bit of a low blow, Nathan smiled as he said it so that Sasha was soon smiling again too.

“Shit.” Nathan pulled fully away and sat up, memory assaulting him of the rapidly approaching apocalypse. “Everyone went nuts and took off. How many people do we have left?”

“First of all,” Walter stood from his chair, looking, Nathan thought, a little flustered from their mini-makeout session right in front of him, “had I told you that Sasha coming back like this would reset the deal he made, Puck and I never would have had the power to switch the two of you and help bring him back. You gave us that power, Nathan, through unknowing, selfless sacrifice. As for those you had enlisted…” He looked to Sasha, making Nathan turn back to the incubus as well.

Incubus. The incubus.

Nathan’s incubus.

“Everyone came back, Nathan. Everyone,” Sasha said.

“Every last person who ditched, human or otherwise, is back in the Gatehouse. The ones who saw what happened, who saw Walter and Malak and…what happened to me, to us …they called the ones that left and got them to come back. It’s tense still, yeah, but…

they believe in us, Nathan, in you . You still have your army waiting for you to lead them. ”

And holy shit, was that a sobering, frightening thought— Nathan’s army . “Guess seeing is believing, eh, Walt?” Nathan chuckled as he glanced back at the Spirit Guide.

“Faith is preferable,” Walter said rather seriously, “but to believe after learning fact is still believing. Please understand, Nathan, it was your sacrifice that swayed them, not me, and not Malak’s presence either, much as they could all feel, even the humans, what he was.

That dark fae spy was only the first sign of Malak’s army drawing closer.

We may not be able to hold them back. More will get through. You must be watchful.”

“Walt,” Nathan scooted towards the edge of the bed so he could smack him good-naturedly on the shoulder and get him to stop looking so pensive, “I have everything to live for. I’m gonna be watchful like you’ve never seen, cling so damn hard to life to make sure this works out and that we win that your head’ll spin.

” He looked back at Sasha and smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.

The sudden feel of cool skin on his hand almost made Nathan jump, his head flinching back to Walter, who lifted his right hand palm-up.

Nathan was confused at first but more transfixed than anything as Walter brought his hand all the way up to his lips and pressed a kiss to the center of his palm.

Then Walter leaned forward, still holding Nathan’s hand, and pressed another kiss to his forehead.

Nathan didn’t say a word the whole time, understanding somehow that this meant more than gratitude or a sign for luck, it was benediction.

“You, Nathan,” Walter whispered into the top of his hair, “are a good man. You finally learned the lesson you were forgetting, that for all your selflessness when thinking of those you care about, this is bigger than you, bigger than your happiness or the happiness of those you love… Thank you. But never doubt that your happiness is still the dearest thing to me.” Then he pulled away, smiled, and headed for the door.

Nathan stared a minute after him once he had left them alone.

“Don’t make me jealous now, I just came back to life,” Sasha said with a mock-pout in his tone. He crawled across the bed to be right up against Nathan’s back, settling in with his legs straddling Nathan and hanging off the edge of the mattress.

Nathan sunk back against Sasha gladly. “I definitely prefer you alive and kicking. And I prefer you . Nobody else compares.”

“Right back atcha,” Sasha said.

“Good. I’ll have to go out there eventually, huh?”

“Yep.”

“And talk to everyone.”

“Yep.”

“And…lead the army against the apocalypse.”

Sasha laughed, the sound being by far one of the more glorious things Nathan had the pleasure of hearing in his life. “Yep, that you will.” Sasha hugged Nathan tight, almost too tight, and Nathan knew it was entirely intentional.

He almost missed not being able to feel Sasha’s emotions, that connectedness he’d had while he was an incubus, but then he realized he still could feel Sasha, in his own way, because they would always be connected.

And now, one day when all of this was over, Sasha could initiate him.

Sasha could . That made all the difference.

“Nathan…” Sasha whispered, his face pressing to Nathan’s, still holding him in that backwards, intimate hug on the bed, “thank you for this, for what you did. Not because it worked out, and I’m here, but because…

because I knew you could do it, Nate, I knew it, you just had to believe finally that you could make the right choice.

I know this doesn’t fix everything. It doesn’t make up for Iain, and so much else that Malak’s done, but I am so proud of you. ”

A jolt ran down Nathan’s spine at those words, and he felt his breath hitch.

“Nathan?”

“I…I’m good, just…” Nathan closed his eyes, willing the tears away; he didn’t have time for tears. “I’m great. Coz things are gonna get pretty hairy from here,” he opened his eyes again, “but Malak is not going to win.”