Page 51 of Sidhe (The Incubus Saga #3)

Sasha wriggled his way onto his other side so he was facing Nathan. His red-rimmed eyes were so dim they looked human. Nathan pressed his body forward, aligning himself with Sasha’s naked form. Sasha was hardly in control enough to resist even the mildest advance from him, much as he wanted to try.

“Nathan, please,” he mewled, his expression panicked, like he wanted to maintain control more than anything but knew he couldn’t. The already half hardness between Sasha’s legs hit Nathan right at the line of his T-shirt, making the incubus gasp pitifully.

The kiss was wholly one-sided for all of five seconds.

Sasha’s incubus nature was too much in control; his body needed sexual energy so badly that he probably couldn’t have stopped himself no matter how strong his will was.

When he began to kiss Nathan back, it was hurried and ravenous, long strokes of his tongue and pulls at Nathan’s bottom lip with sharp teeth.

They weren’t fangs yet but by the end of this they might be.

Being careful with the incubus’ fatigued body, Nathan rolled Sasha onto his back and climbed on top of him with a knee on either side of his hips.

Nathan still had his shoes on, his jeans and layers, while Sasha was already naked.

Nathan lifted up onto his knees and pulled his T-shirt and button-down over his head in a single bundle of unwanted clothing.

“Nathan…” Sasha looked up at him, filled with remorse that was trying to beat out the passion stirring in his eyes. Nathan couldn’t allow that.

“If you need to be forgiven, I forgive you. I understand. I love you.” Nathan settled back on top of Sasha and kissed the incubus hard. Licking languidly at Sasha’s lips, he felt that marvelous heat building in his gut, even if his chest ached and there were tears stinging his eyes.

The St. Anthony medallion glittered up at Nathan. He knew he had to stay right where he was, because only with Sasha was he ever truly found .

He brushed Sasha’s cheek with his own, licked around the rim of Sasha’s ear, and breathed hotly before saying, “Let me help you.”

It tore Nathan up to see Sasha’s sad expression. “I want to trust you, Nate…but how can I trust anything when I know you’re going to leave me?”

“How can you say that,” Nathan snapped. “Didn’t you hear me and the part about me never walking away again? I meant that, I promise—”

“I don’t mean you’ll leave because you want to,” Sasha broke in, “but you will. I’m not going to change, Nathan.

I’m going to stay like this. Forever. And you’re going to keep growing further away from me, until…

until you’re gone, and I’m alone, and there’s nothing I can do about any of it .

” Fresh tears started up again, and Nathan had to wonder how the incubus had any moisture left in him at all.

“Sasha…” Nathan pressed their cheeks together again, slid a hand down Sasha’s arm and squeezed his bicep.

“I made that deal, and I’d make it again,” Sasha ground out, “but Malak still wins. Just like today, he wins. Even if we win the fucking war, he still fucking wins . I know I don’t deserve you. And sometimes I wish you didn’t love me so this would be easier. God …I wish I was human …”

“Hey, we’ll figure it out,” Nathan said assuredly, molding his body along Sasha’s, his face still dug into the crook of Sasha’s neck. “Somehow we’ll find a way to break your deal, baby, we will.”

Sasha’s voice was soft and anguished as he replied, “No we won’t.”

Fire surged through Nathan’s veins. It made his grip harsh as he clung to both of Sasha’s biceps and lifted up again so he could meet those tear-stained eyes.

“No one gets to take you away from me,” he practically snarled, shaking Sasha.

“Not Solrin. Not Malak . No one . Nothing is taking this away from us. Not even us. We have a problem, we deal with it. We can deal with this. Now do you trust me? Do you trust me?” he said immediately again, shaking Sasha harder.

There was no response at first, just Sasha’s wide-eyed stare, startled, maybe even scared and so weak that he looked small beneath Nathan.

“If you don’t trust me then we’ve already lost. You say you do, so say it like you mean it.”

“I…I trust you, Nathan, I just...” Sasha trailed, trying to turn his head to the side, but Nathan grabbed Sasha’s face and held it so he couldn’t look away. “I-I’m afraid…that Malak is stronger. I’m scared .”

Situating himself again so he wasn’t putting so much weight on Sasha’s body, Nathan lifted up and sat back on Sasha’s hips, just above where the incubus’ half-hard erection was still waiting.

Nathan touched Sasha’s cheek and drew a line down the incubus’ neck and chest with his fingers.

Sasha shuddered. Nathan trailed his fingers up again and caught the saint medallion.

He fingered it. Looked at it. Somehow he knew it was more than just a symbol. It was a promise.

“You wanna know how I know we’ll get through this?

” Nathan said. “Because Dave told me. He told me that Malak can’t have power over me if I choose you.

Not Him. Not if I choose Him . If I choose you .

You and Jim, yeah, but…but that means nothing without you.

” He kissed Sasha, gentle lips pressing lovingly, desperate to somehow make this right again.

Sasha’s hips bucked up from the bed, and it made both of them gasp.

“Don’t tell me to stop. Don’t push me away,” Nathan said pleadingly, stroking Sasha’s face again and pushing his fingers back through that too soft hair.

“I’m going to help you because I love you, and it is a privilege to love you.

I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you, baby, but if I’m gonna be lucky enough to be granted you then I am not going to let you go.

Now, last time I’m gonna ask this…” He kissed Sasha’s lips once more. “Do you trust me?”

Finally, when Nathan pulled up again, all he saw in those wet blue eyes was love and devotion. “I trust you.”

Nathan kissed Sasha hungrily, feeding the incubus’ desires and instincts that quickly began to take over.

Weak as he was, Sasha kissed back just as fiercely, holding Nathan’s face in his hands.

Soon it was all a big blur, and Nathan figured that was because Sasha was so in need of him that the pheromones were crazed. It made his heart flutter and skip.

Sasha slipped his arms around Nathan’s back and held tight as they kissed more deeply.

Nathan felt enveloped, felt his heart beating wild in his chest, and…

damn, the pheromones were strong. So strong that Nathan couldn’t accurately explain what became of his pants, just knew when they were gone, his shoes too, and he was mighty thankful for that.

Nathan would have welcomed some foreplay but it didn’t seem like they had the self-control to manage any.

Sasha’s need was becoming amplified in Nathan, making him clutch and claw at the body beneath him.

He slithered the small distance down Sasha’s body until their hips locked, Sasha’s now hard cock teasing past his own, unbearably hot and slick.

There wasn’t enough friction just grinding into Sasha’s hip, and Nathan had to stop himself from just rutting until he came. That was the pheromones talking. Nathan couldn’t give in after only a couple minutes. He wanted to be connected. He wanted this to last.

“Nathan…forgive me,” Sasha moaned, his back arching when Nathan reached between them and took their like erections in hand, barely managing to keep hold of them both as he thrust down. Sasha let out a sharp cry, loud enough that surely someone had to have heard that.

Nathan was delirious from the sudden rush of pheromones and how quickly their passion was fueling. “I forgive you, baby,” he said against damp lips. “You’re just too wonderful…thinking you need to save everyone…and then you go and chew me out for the same damn thing.”

Sasha laughed at that, laughed . “Mutual…character flaw,” he chuckled, then cringed, then moaned, then gripped Nathan’s wrist that was attached to the tortuously moving hand jerking both of their cocks. “ Nathan . No more…please…just…just…”

“Just what?” Nathan whispered into the hollow of Sasha’s throat before licking it, running his thumb over both their slits and mixing the pre-cum.

Blue eyes that already looked brighter sprung open. Sasha grabbed Nathan’s face and stared right at him as he said, “Save me. Save me , Nate…I need you more.”

More than what , Nathan wondered. More than everything, maybe.

Nathan tried to reach over Sasha and crawl closer to the drawer with the lube, but Sasha’s thighs came up and trapped him, locking around his hips.

Nathan loved the pheromones when they worked in his favor, and right now they were definitely making everything easier, previous pain and heartache momentarily forgotten.

He wet one finger with his mouth and reached down, leaving their cocks to merely grind again.

It was almost distracting enough to disrupt Nathan from stretching the incubus, but he managed, more insistent moans than usual spilling from Sasha’s mouth at the slightest touch of Nathan’s finger inside of him.

Soon, Sasha pushed at Nathan’s hand to get it away then took hold of Nathan’s cock.

The first real thrust had Nathan unraveling in layers, making him tremble from the intensity.

Sasha had been weak like this only days ago and now he was right back there again.

That had to make it harder, make the need for sex stronger, and Nathan was pulled right into the whirlwind of it—the pheromones, the circuit, their love strong and hot, even the anger and remorse that hadn’t faded yet; it all melded together.

Nathan thrust hard but slowly inside of Sasha, rolling his hips, his arms holding Sasha beneath his knees, and it was right where Nathan belonged, no question about it.