Page 53 of Sidhe (The Incubus Saga #3)

Even though Nathan hadn’t felt it up until now, that pressure in his body like when Sasha almost turned him so long ago—that pull within him, stretching him, changing him—was suddenly right there.

An aftershock maybe, his body needing to see it before it actually registered the feeling, like having to look at a wound before you felt any pain.

An incubus. Nathan was an incubus. And Sasha was human .

“Nathan!”

Nathan didn’t hear Jim at first, not really, he was too busy gaping horrified at how his body started to shift.

His skin paled to white, his hair lengthening to be shaggy around his ears instead of his usual short spikes.

His eyes flashed red with slit pupils, and black horns spiraled up and slightly back from just past his hairline.

Fangs grew in his mouth, black claws took over his hands, and his feet wobbled as he grew several inches from his new raptor height, thankful he had been barefoot.

And then the wings, as large as Sasha’s, shot out of his back, ruining his T-shirt. Nathan tried to back up, so startled by the new reflection in the mirror, but the wings he didn’t yet know how to control crashed into cabinets and the side of the shower, knocking several things to the floor.

“Nathan, calm down!” Jim tried again, strong arms grabbing Nathan about the waist to hold him still. “You’ll tear apart the whole bathroom! Now get a grip. You can hold the human glamours. You were doing it a second ago. Just concentrate so you don’t destroy anything else.”

Jim’s tone was firm, not joking even though in some ways this was really fucking funny. Hilarious even. Only it so wasn’t because how the hell was Nathan supposed to stay calm?

“That bastard!” Nathan growled—deep and rumbling; an actual growl .

He couldn’t stop looking at his incubus self in the mirror—his incubus self —and feeling resentment for it because this was not how it was supposed to happen.

“How is this a gift!? How does this change anything!? We’re right back to where we fucking started! ”

“Nathan!” Jim hissed, right against the side of Nathan’s face, only more into the crook of his shoulder because Nathan was taller than Jim now.

“Stop thrashing around and being an idiot. I don’t know what Puck means by doing this, but one thing you should pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize is that you are not right back to where you were before.

You’re the incubus now, Nathan, and Sasha’s human.

Now maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t work too well with Sasha’s deal. ”

Part of Nathan wanted to keep thrashing, not because he wanted to hurt Jim or wreck anything else, but because his skin felt strangely alive and he didn’t know how to make it settle.

Then the truth of what Jim was saying hit him, and even though he felt strange, he watched as his body began to fade back to human just from him willing it and from his pulse finally steadying. He was the incubus. Sasha was human. The deal Sasha made with Malak said…

“He can’t initiate me,” Nathan spoke aloud, not fully recognizing his new human-looking self any more than he recognized the incubus one, with his eyes glowing brighter green, so many of his old scars smoothed over, and a presence about him that just seemed larger even though he was back to being just about the same height as Jim.

“But the deal never said you can’t initiate him ,” Jim finished what Nathan had already realized. It was a messed-up gift, sure, but it was a gift; it had to be a gift, maybe the best gift Puck could have possibly given them.

Nathan couldn’t explain how he felt right then, there weren’t words , but there was still that lingering sense of ‘amazing’ and ‘good’ that he had felt when he woke up.

There were little things that he started to realize, like how he could feel satisfaction and annoyance and worry all coming from Jim at once, his emotions all tangled up and so potent.

Nathan could feel the way the glamours fit on his body, feel his own pheromones, his pheromones , and how they hovered about him.

Jim’s hold on Nathan shifted to just having his hands on Nathan’s shoulders, supportive, grounding.

Nathan remembered how the twins, Epica and Attoinette, had said they couldn’t actually sense anything from Jim other than normal human, but Nathan had always gotten the impression that Sasha could sense more.

Maybe it was because Jim and Sasha were closer.

That would make sense, because Nathan loved Jim more than anything and he could see, literally see the power that emanated from his brother in waves.

There was nothing dark or evil about it, but Nathan didn’t think he could put that into words either.

Bucking Jim in the shoulder just seemed like the right thing to do, and Nathan laughed when he realized he wasn’t quite aware of his own strength when he almost toppled his super-powered brother right over.

Jim chuckled too, helplessly but relieved since Nathan had stopped going NATHAN SMASH on the bathroom.

Anything else that might have passed between them was interrupted when a groan sounded from back inside the bedroom.

Nathan had woken up feeling pretty good, his panic after seeing himself in the mirror notwithstanding, but Sasha wasn’t going from average to empowered; he was going through the exact opposite.

“Sasha.” Nathan crawled back onto the bed, Jim going around to the other side to stand vigil.

“Baby, wake up. It’s okay, you’re okay.” Nathan stroked his fingers through Sasha’s hair, his still silky but dark, Black Irish hair, and grinned to himself at how much more Sasha looked like his father this way.

The incubus—no, the human , the normal human seal—blinked several times, his brow furrowed and his breathing shallow as he came to, before looking right at Nathan. Despite his obvious fatigue, Sasha smiled. “Hey. What…what happened? I feel like roadkill,” he grimaced.

Nathan laughed at that, not ceasing the movement of his fingers through Sasha’s hair. He felt sort of giddy. He was buzzed, feeling so many emotions from other people filling his senses, as well as the varying emotions that were swirling inside of himself.

“Nathan…?” Sasha said, looking at Nathan more closely and trying to sit up.

Realization hit Sasha sooner than it had Nathan, the beautiful human’s bright blue eyes still enough to weaken Nathan in the knees even if they didn’t glow quite the same way.

“You…you’re an incubus.” Sasha touched Nathan’s face, his fingers ghosting around the brilliance of Nathan’s eyes.

Then he frowned. “You are , aren’t you? You have to be, but… I can’t feel it.”

Nathan hoped Sasha wouldn’t react as poorly as he had at first. “Yeah, uhh…Puck has some crazy sense of humor, I guess. He switched us.”

“Switched? You mean… I’m …” The hand Sasha had on Nathan’s face moved back to touch his own, like maybe he would actually be able to feel that he was human just by touching his cheek. Sasha went a little cross-eyed looking up at the dark strands of hair falling into his face.

“Still beautiful,” Nathan said, as his hands smoothed back Sasha’s hair once again and then took hold of his face. Nathan had the most unbelievable urge to kiss Sasha but was trying valiantly to remember that Jim was still in the room.

The truth clicked as Sasha’s eyes went wide. “That means…”

“Yeah,” Nathan said, “it means I get to have you forever. Gotta love a loophole.” He grinned, and Sasha did too, and damn it, Nathan had to kiss him; Jim would understand.

Only as soon as Nathan’s lips were on Sasha’s there was something like a rush between them and Sasha’s hands suddenly gripped hard—though not as hard as Nathan was used to—onto his wrists.

“Ph-pheromones,” Sasha’s lips trembled against Nathan’s. “Too… wow …too strong. Weird…feeling them on this end.” He grinned like he was in the most wonderful daze.

Nathan held Sasha in front of him and tried to reel himself back in, tried to focus on how he could feel the pheromones around him, and maybe if he focused hard enough, he could keep them in check.

“Sorry. It’s just…I don’t really know how to deal with all this.

How do you do it? I’m—” Nathan’s eyes suddenly went wide.

“I’m not gonna snap and frenzy or anything, am I? ”

Sasha cringed, and Nathan realized he had moved his hands to Sasha’s biceps and was probably squeezing too tightly.

“Sorry, sorry…” He let go and sat back. That was when he caught sight of Jim again, still on the other side of the bed, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and an amused little smirk on his face.

“Oh shut up,” Nathan scowled. “Like you were so fine and dandy when you first got your powers.” It wasn’t a low blow; it was perfectly legal brother ammunition.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Hey, I think this is great. To an extent. But even though it seems like it all makes sense right now, I gotta wonder what the catch is.”

“Well…” Sasha scooted up more so he could lean back against the headboard, looking a little clearer without Nathan saturating him with pheromones, “I feel like shit , if that’s a good enough consequence.

And it’s not like Nathan can change me right this second.

Even if the circumstances are different, he’s still basically an initiated incubus.

Meaning no, Nate, you’re not going to frenzy.

” He grabbed one of Nathan’s hands and squeezed it.

“You should feel freshly fed, strong. The problem is you need to be trained how to control your abilities, even trained how to feed, and…I can’t do it like this.

I could just tell you, but it’s not the same thing. We’re going to need help.”