Page 60 of Sidhe (The Incubus Saga #3)

“Nothing,” Nathan whispered a little softer, “just, uhh…really ready for bed, is all. Long day. Longer one ahead of us, I’m thinking. We’ll see you girls in the morning?” He looked to the twins, who couldn’t have hid their approving grins even if they covered their mouths.

Epica nodded. “Wouldn’t miss a thing.”

“We’re in it for the long haul now,” Attoinette said.

The twins headed further down the hallway while Nathan and Sasha stepped over to their room across from Jim and Alex’s. Nathan swallowed deeply as he stared back at their door a moment. Jim didn’t know how good of a brother he was sometimes.

He really, really didn’t.

May the road always rise to meet you…

Nathan walked up a steep slope, rocky and uneven, changed ever since the dark fae appeared and made the Gatehouse’s backyard so very different.

He was not afraid, feeling so powerful with his new incubus strength, his form already shifted, claws out, wings spread, and fangs bared.

His taloned feet dug deep into the earth beneath him as he walked to the top of the cliff and looked down at the battle below.

It was massive, the sheer amount of humans and fae. Nathan could pick out everyone even from his high vantage point—everyone that mattered.

Jim was fighting Solrin, their power evenly matched, but Nathan knew Jim’s strength was waning.

Solrin had more at his command and was stealing fae from their side, making them turn on their friends with his power.

The incubi and succubae, Sasha’s friends, were all in their true forms like Nathan, fighting viciously, all bleeding and torn but not stopping, not ceasing for a single moment.

Alex, Walter, and the seals they had swayed to their side were holding back many of the dark fae, but there were so many of them.

Nathan couldn’t even put a name to all the creatures he saw.

One thing he could be certain of, however, was that their side was losing.

Frantically, Nathan searched the battlefield for signs of Sasha, but he couldn’t spot him anywhere. Then suddenly he saw him, Nathan’s black-haired human , laden with various weapons, surrounded by dark fae and cut off from the others. Sasha was in trouble.

Without thinking Nathan dove from the cliff’s edge, disturbing chunks of rock as he leapt, his wings out and leading him expertly down to where Sasha needed him.

The dark fae were backing Sasha against the rock wall, ready to swarm him and attack.

Nathan had to dive straight down, and only when he was almost there did he realize… he no longer had wings.

Nathan was human, naked, and falling, his body striking the sides of the rock wall as he tumbled toward the ground.

He landed with a thud, too many bones cracking from impact as pain filled him so strongly he couldn’t breathe, could barely see.

He knew the dark fae were gone, but where was Sasha?

He tried to turn, tried to roll over, just barely managing it only to see Sasha right beside him, red-headed now, an incubus again but too late, too late because he was gone.

Dead . His blue eyes stared up at Nathan blankly.

“No…”

Nathan jolted awake gasping for air.

Once he calmed enough to realize he’d been dreaming, he ran a hand through his damp hair and sat up in bed.

Sasha was still sleeping soundly beside him, contentedly on his side facing Nathan, his chest moving with even breaths.

Nathan, on the other hand, was trembling.

He needed a drink. Any drink. He’d take fucking lemonade just so long as he had something to help shake off the lingering feelings of dread.

Rolling out of bed, he padded to the hallway in just his shorts.

He didn’t even know what time it was, not that it mattered; everyone else was still asleep.

Quietly, he headed for the stairs. He’d just get some water from the kitchen, take a few minutes to calm his pulse.

It was only a dream. Everything would be—

“ And true be the hearts that love you… ” sang the very last voice Nathan wanted to hear. “Such a lovely ballad, Nathan. Truly.”

Panic replaced the echo of dread, making Nathan’s pulse race far faster than any dream could cause.

“Oh, Nathan, you really need to get control over yourself. I only came to say hello.” Malak’s voice was so damn smug and self-satisfied. It made Nathan’s fists clench tight as he stood looking down the steps.

“You gave me that dream, didn’t you?” Nathan asked without turning. It was dark but he could see the full expanse of the staircase just in front of him. Malak was behind him in the hall. Nathan didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see him.

“Well, I missed you, you see. Solrin is a great asset, a good leader, but he can’t take your place.

My army is strong, but you as its leader would be far more effective.

Keep in mind, Nathan, that if you are neither on my side nor the light’s then if I win the world will look far bleaker than you could make it if you accepted my offer. ”

Nathan whipped around, allowing his eyes to burn red in warning. Malak stood only a yard from him, handsome and terrible in his nice black suit. “You can’t have me. I don’t fall under your jurisdiction anymore, asshole,” Nathan said as evenly as he could.

Malak merely smiled, his perfect white teeth glinting, and took a few steps closer to Nathan.

“Do you honestly think this development worries me?” He swept his eyes over Nathan’s body as if Nathan being an incubus hardly concerned him.

“I know it won’t last. Clever trick and all, but I know how your mind works, Nathan, only too well.

In the end you will be what I need you to be and you will . Choose . Me .”

“Fuck you,” Nathan growled, truly growled , his fists clenching tighter. “I’m gonna kill you with my bare hands, with my own fucking claws, you hear me?”

“Kill me?” Malak laughed in Nathan’s face, close enough that he could reach out and grab Nathan’s chin, which he did none too gently.

Nathan tried to squirm away, but Malak’s grip tightened around the side of his jaw.

“Dear na?ve little Nathan,” he whispered, pressing his cool lips to Nathan’s cheek, “you can’t kill me. What would the world be like without darkness?”

A million comebacks flitted through Nathan’s brain, but none of them seemed like a good enough argument, so Nathan stayed silent. Instead, a silent prayer left him as he closed his eyes.

Walter…

“When you realize what a fool you are being,” Malak said, “I will come back for you. You can trust me on that.”

The kiss Malak imprinted on Nathan’s lips this time was cooler still and strangely tender, filled with possession and claim again but not with cruelty, more like…

longing. Nathan felt Malak’s emotions, hot and pulsing like he never could before— longing more than anything else.

Nathan didn’t understand it, what it meant, and he only felt it fleetingly before Malak faded like mist that washed over him and nearly sent him tipping backwards down the steps.

Once he’d steadied himself, he sat down on the top step of the staircase, looking down into the darkness of the lower level. He didn’t want a drink anymore. There was something pained and hollow trying to beat inside his chest.

He barely even looked up when he felt the presence of someone sitting beside him.

“So…feeling spiteful and figured you’d wait ‘til he left this time?” Nathan asked his Spirit Guide.

“He could not have truly harmed you, Nathan,” Walter said, “not with you like this.”

“Right,” Nathan huffed, not feeling particularly safe from Malak or untouchable considering he could still feel the remnants of Malak’s lips on his. He tilted his head to look at Walter.

“You are still my charge, Nathan, whether human or otherwise.” Walter stared at his folded hands hanging between his knees. “Even an incubus has a Spirit Guide.”

Nathan stared. “But…I thought—”

“What everyone thinks, but you never actually asked.”

So that’s why Walter had never corrected Iain about having a Spirit Guide.

And by now Iain must have met him, or her, whoever it was.

That had probably been a real thrill for the guy, and the thought quirked a corner of Nathan’s mouth up.

He had the sudden urge to tell Jim—no, Sasha first; he’d always wanted to know whether or not he had a Spirit Guide.

“Nathan, it is not anything at fault in an incubus’ existence that makes you unworthy of your destiny.”

Nathan sighed. “Don’t suppose you’d care to elaborate on why I have to be human, huh? All everyone keeps telling me is that I’m the one who’s supposed to save the day. No one says why, no one says how .”

“That is something, Nathan, you must—”

“Figure out on my own. I figured.” Nathan sighed again. “Look, I’m not gonna try and justify this to you, Walt. I know I’m risking a lot. I’m sorry I was a jackass about it before, okay, but I’m gonna ask you the same thing I asked Jim. Let me have a chance.”

“Nathan…” Walter shook his head. Nathan really wished those brown eyes would look up at him and actually look at him so he didn’t feel like such a dick right now.

But he realized he didn’t only see sorrow on Walter’s face.

He was pleased he couldn’t see pity, but there was something else in Walter’s expression.

“He scares you a little too, huh?” Nathan bucked Walter in the shoulder, remembering as he did so that he was sitting in just his boxers while Walter was fully clothed. He tried not to think about it.

Glancing away at first, Walter finally looked up at Nathan, his head cocked slightly to the side as he tried to smile, very faintly. It was admittance, Nathan realized.

He bucked Walter in the shoulder again, wheedling out at least a little more of that smile. “You were pretty badass that time you stood up to him, all wrath of God and everything. I kinda figured you’d be thrilled I won’t get the chance to…mess this up now.”

The smile that had been growing on Walter’s face immediately fell.

He looked so young right then in the dark, on the steps, despite the age and experience in his eyes.

“Nathan,” he said, leaning closer, “it is not that I do not believe you can accomplish the impossible. You have many times in the past done just that. But this is not your destiny. Not like this, not yet.” He tore his eyes away with difficulty.

“Time is short, and you are missing one very fundamental lesson.”

“And what lesson is that, Walt?” Nathan asked.

“That, Nathan…is something else you will have to understand for yourself.”