Page 57 of Rugged Hearts: Part One

When we break apart Liam claps me on the back. “Let’s go in, he said he’ll fit us in. Any idea what you’ll get, Sweetheart?”

“Actually, I think I do,” she says with a big smile.

After a brief conversation with Liam’s friend, Eric, they finally start on the tattoo. She decided to get it on the inside of her left wrist. Shortly after they get started, Thea’s phone starts blowing up with calls and texts from Keelan. Liam, Gods help him, is the one who answers. Even I can hear his initial question with how loud he’s yelling. “Why the fuck is our omega in pain?”

Thea must have heard because she giggles a little. I guess we should have given a little warning to her two bonded mates. I would have freaked out too if suddenly I felt she was in pain, especially with everything going on. Thea makes agimmegesture with her hand not getting tattooed. Liam instead puts the phone on speaker.

“Keelan, I’m fine. Just getting a tattoo,” she reassures him. He’s strangely quiet.

“Be there in ten,” he says and then hangs up.

Thea looks at us questioningly and we both just shrug our shoulders. I’m not going to get in the middle of whatever instincts he has going on. He probably won’t feel better until he has eyes on her, not that I blame him. Sure enough ten minutes later Keelan, followed by Parker and Eli, march into the shop. Eric must be used to dealing with people better than us as he’s totally unbothered by this. The stress evident on Keelan’s face melts away as soon as he sees Thea. Leaning down to kiss the side of her head, he asks, “Doing okay Baby Girl?’

“I’m fine you grumpy teddy bear.” Parker and Eli snicker at her nickname for him. I know better. Keelan is unbothered by most things but in college he was the king of pranks. I wouldn’t put it past him to get back at those two. “He’s almost done,” she adds on.

“What are you getting?” Parker asks excitedly.

“You’ll see when it’s done. C’mon guys, give her and Eric space. You don’t want him to mess up her tattoo do you?” Liamsays. It has the desired effect of having them stand off to the side with us. Eric shoots Liam a glare at the idea he’d mess up a tattoo so easily but let it go when he realized Liam was kidding. It’s not long until Eric is wiping it clean and applying the clear bandage over the tattoo. Thea is beaming as she looks at her wrist. She nearly skips over to us to show it off. She raises her hand up until it’s parallel with her head so we can see the image clearly. It’s a sailboat, shaded in to give it some dimension and four little wave designs around it.

“It looks great!” Parker shouts.

“Why a sailboat?” Eli asks.

“Sailing was one of Connor’s favorite things to do. He loved his boat. The number of waves also represent his parents. He’d like that I think,” she says softly.

“I’m sure he’s watching this and loving how sexy you look with fresh ink,” Eli says making her blush.

“He did say in his letter he’d haunt me so we can only hope.” She laughs at Eli and Parker’s reactions as they give the room a skeptical onceover.

Wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her in, Parker gives her a brief kiss, before leading her out of the shop. “Let go home, there’s some awesome brownies in the kitchen you need to try.”

I forgot all about them. “Parker, those were supposed to be a surprise.”

He looks back with anoopsexpression before grabbing Thea’s hand and booking it to Keelan’s car that they must’ve arrived in. She laughs the entire time. Today was definitely an adventure and I can’t wait for more.

44

BEFORE #5 - THEA

The sounds of forks hitting plates is all I hear as we eat dinner. No one talks. Mateo and James try to get me and Sophie to eat more every now and then but that’s about it. Max is only here sometimes, though we’ll hear him in the home gym working through this the only way he knows.

It’s been two weeks; it feels like two years. Connor’s gone. He was so worried about losing me, I never considered I’d lose him. They say he lost control of the car; I don’t believe that. Connor didn’t speed to a dangerous degree that he’d lose control. How does that even happen?

His parents insisted I stay with them after that first night. It felt like my own personal hell being in our apartment knowing he’d never be back there. That his scent would eventually fade. His scent that felt like home. My only home that mattered these last eight years. It’s gone with him. That apartment isn’t home, not without him. We would’ve been on our trip this week, finally bonded. I’ll never experience that with him. Or anyone, he was it for me, all I wanted.

I feel like a burden to his parents. They’re grieving too, they shouldn’t have to deal with me on top of that. I was useless when they planned the funeral. Honestly those days I felt like I was onanother planet. I’d have to be right, in order for there to be a world without him in it.

I need to go back to the apartment to change out my clothes. Also I’m hoping his clothes left there still have his scent, even just a little bit.

After dinner, not that we ate much, I head out. But not before James notices. “Where are you going?”

“I need to go to the apartment for more of my things.” My voice is void of emotion. Is this my new default state? Better than before when I was crying constantly.

“Do you want one of us to go with you?” he asks softly. I shake my head no and head out without another word.

Everything is just as we left it. Except for the pile of mail I just brought in. It smells like us, but not. There’s a staleness to the air. Heading straight for his side of our closet, I bury my face in his clothes. Relief floods me that his scent is still here. Tears immediately start to fall from my eyes. I hate it. I’m sick of crying. Just let me enjoy the only piece of him I have left.

I can’t even bring myself to go in my nest. It’s supposed to be an omega’s safe space. The barrage of memories I fear will flood me if I even look at it. It will break me even more than I already am. I put one of his hoodies on, huffing his scent like it’s my own personal drug. Walking mindlessly through the apartment, I stop at the pile of mail. I don’t know what makes me look through it but I do. Immediate regret comes when I see the letter fromhim. With shaking hands, I open it.