Page 28 of Rugged Hearts: Part One

“You won’t be able to mail it to her without a risk of the stalker finding out and tracking it back. Can you take pictures of it? I can send you a secure link to send them to and we can print them out here.” I step into the conversation for the first time.They all look at me and I try not to shift uncomfortably in my seat at the sudden attention.Thea needs you, don’t let her down.

“Yes, I can do that,” James says before standing.

“Oh just make sure you take the pictures in a well-lit area and it’s not blurry so she can read it when printed,” I tell him, realizing it might be hard to read when printed. I move closer to my desk and begin setting up the link and ask them for an email I can send it to. It only takes a few minutes and we have the letter printed and in our hands. Or rather my hand. Thea’s is still in my other hand and she hasn’t looked at the pages. I put them in an envelope and seal it so she can read it when she’s ready. When I hand the envelope to her, she hugs it to herself.

Connor’s parents don’t say anything for a while, giving Thea a moment. When Thea looks back at them Sophie asks, “Will we be able to talk again soon?” Thea looks to me questioningly.

“I can set this up again whenever you need it.” I meet her eyes.

“Will you guys be available this time next week then?” Thea asks.

The smiles that cross all of their faces are so bright. I can see how much they missed her. I can’t imagine this past year from their point of view. Losing their only son and the woman they viewed as a daughter running for her safety with no way to contact you.

Sophie and Thea say a tearful goodbye. I catch a glimpse of the alphas tearing up. Max surprises me when he says, “Thank you Parker, for setting up this call and looking after our girl.” Thea looks just as surprised.

I’m responding before my brain catches up. “Always.” Squeeze. Squeeze. The three men are looking at me, not in a sizing-me-up way, but almost. Hopefully they think I’m good enough for her. I wonder if they’ll compare me or any of us to Connor. Maybe not. They’re a pack so they get it, but it’s got to be hard seeing Thea possibly moving on.

More goodbyes are exchanged and Thea once again stresses for them to not tell anyone they’ve been in contact with her and not to mention it over the phone or text. With the plan set for her to call them next week, we all hang up. Thea looks emotionally drained.

Squeeze. Squeeze.

That gets her attention, and she turns to look at me. Her eyes look like they’re glowing a little under the lights. She’s so beautiful. “Can I have a hug?” she asks tentatively.

“You don’t even need to ask.”

Before I can blink she’s rushing into my lap, wrapping her arms around me and nuzzling her face into my neck. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before but she’s got to be touch-starved. It’s been a year since Connor passed and she hasn’t been with anyone since. I’m guessing that she hadn’t felt any platonic touches since. My arms squeeze her tight to me. Normally I’d be worried about her feeling my soft stomach but I don’t even care, I just want her in my arms and she doesn’t seem to mind. Idefinitely don’t mind the feeling, the press of her belly against me. Calm down, she doesn’t need you getting hard right now.How her scent is simultaneously turning me on and relaxing me, I will never understand.

We stay like this for quite a while, as time passes, I can feel the tension she’s holding slowly fade away as she relaxes deeper into my hold. She raises her head from the crook of my neck and examines my face, bringing up a hand to twirl the ends of my hair. “Thank you, so much. That doesn’t even feel like big enough words to express how much I appreciate what you did for me today.” Her eyes swim with emotion.

“You don’t have to thank me. I just wanted to help. I’ll always be here for you.”

She looks away, breaking our eye contact. I’m not someone who can hold eye contact with most people but there’s a sense of loss when she looks away. “You don’t even know me to promise something like that.”

I turn her so she’s looking at me again when I say, “You are my scent match. I know you are kind and you’ve been through hell the last year and a half but are still here fighting. You’re so strong. Stronger than any man in this house, alpha or beta. You’re beautiful, really a Goddess among men.” She blushes at that. “You calm my racing mind in a way I never thought could be possible. I want to know you, know you as well as myself. I hope you give me—us a chance to show you how much we want to know you.”

“I’m not sure I deserve this. I don’t want a relationship, let alone seven. I can’t deny the scent match since I do feel it…” She looks at the envelope on the desk containing Connor’s letter.

“I’ve never loved someone like you clearly loved Connor. I want to have that kind of love one day, hopefully with you—in whatever way that looks like. I will never rush you. You control the pace of everything that happens,” I say, feeling a little like I just ripped my heart out of my chest and am holding it in the palm of my hand, waiting for her to take it gently or squash it.

“Okay. I think we need to talk with Liam about something.Together with the whole pack. You should know what you’re getting into. I don’t want to hurt any of you, you don’t deserve that. I just don’t know how to…” She trails off again, looking at the envelope.How to let go of Connor.She doesn’t have to let him go. He should’ve been part of our pack too. We wouldn’t try to erase him, but I don’t think she’ll really hear me if I say that now. We’ll show her with our actions, prove to her she can have us all including Connor in her heart.

27

THEA

Holding Parker’s hand seems to be my own version of a security blanket. We are currently weaving through this massive house and tracking down the pack so we can talk. It doesn’t take long, as most of them are in the kitchen talking. Probably about me based on the looks I get when we walk in. Thankfully Eli went to get Micah from his home office, so we can all talk.

We gather in the living room, waiting on them to return. I walk over to Liam and say lowly, “We need to tell the pack about my heat and the possible complications.” He looks surprised I brought it up, understandable based on our past conversations. “Can you help explain it? I just…am not sure how to talk about it all when my own feelings are still a mess.”

He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Of course I can explain it. I know they’ll have questions so it’s probably better that way.” I nod in thanks and we both walk over to the sectional and sit down together. Ben comes to sit on my other side. I half-wonder if they plan a rotation of who’s sitting next to me. My thoughts are cut off when Eli and Micah come in and sit in the two armchairs on the opposite wall. Parker is sitting on the floor facing me. It’s funny that seems to be his go-to spot, at least whatI’ve seen, so far. No one seems to bat an eye at it, so maybe it happens more often. Keelan and Jake are standing along the side wall near the doorway.

“What’s this about?” Micah, of course, says abruptly.

I look to Liam, to which he grabs my hand to hold it. It’s grounding, just like when Parker did it during the call with Connor’s parents. “Thea wanted me to share the medical issue we’ve been working through as it will be affecting her in the near future.” Suddenly everyone, even Micah, are sitting and/or standing straighter, almost leaning closer. “For reasons,” he begins, side-eying me. Ugh he couldn’t resist huh.“She’s been on suppressants for nearly ten years straight. As a result, and likely due to meeting her scent matches, they are failing and she will have a heat in the next two months or so.”

Some of the guys seem to relax a little, likely thinking ‘just a heat no big deal.’ I tighten my grip on Liam’s hand as he continues, “That normally wouldn’t be a problem but it’s her first ever heat. And with being on the suppressants for ten years consistently, no breaks, it’ll have side effects that will result in a dangerous heat.”

“What do you mean dangerous?” Ben asks. I glance at him, noting the way his dark-rimmed glasses make his light blue eyes pop, looking so concerned.