Page 32 of Rugged Hearts: Part One
Keelan saves me from having to figure it out. “Are you here to help?”
Not knowing why, I didn’t think more on what I wanted to say. It’s a little different with him than the others. He saw me nearly at my worst. I mean they all are seeing me at one of the lowest points in my life but that breakdown was something else, and knowing he saw it has me feeling more exposed than if I stripped naked in front of him.
“Yes sir,” I say with a mocking salute. Making things light is easy. It’s always heavy with him, maybe some jokes will help.
He doesn’t laugh. His amber eyes seem to darken…oh. Oh, now I’m blushing and looking anywhere but his direction. “Uhm, what needs to be done? More sanding? I don’t think you want me carving anything, since that didn’t turn out so great the first time,” I laugh.
“I wouldn’t say that,” he says as he pulls something out of his pocket. “I think it came out perfect.”
He turns his hand palm up and—the wooden heart I carved is there. But it’s been stained with a color so close to the amber brown his eyes are, just like I said. I reach out to touch it. The surface no longer has that rough feeling, with some kind of finish on it making it smooth and almost glossy looking. It still has the jagged edges where I carved but they aren’t as sharp as before. I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe he kept it and made that little rugged heart into a keepsake.Looking up, I see his eyes filled with emotion, one I can’t place.Change the subject Thea. Too real, too fast.“I wanted to thank you for what you did the other day. Taking care of me while I was breaking down, and afterwards.”
Suddenly he’s bending and picking me up, placing me on theporch railing. Thankfully it’s one he hasn’t started working on yet.Imagine the splinters. I nearly shudder at the thought. It all happened too quickly for me to say anything. For a big guy he moves fast.
“Excuse me?” I glare at him but there’s no heat there. I will never admit that I kind of love the manhandling. Connor did it whenever possible. Keelan’s hands are braced on the wood on either side of me. I should feel boxed in, trapped, but nope. No warning alarms are going off. I know he wouldn’t hurt me. He’s kind of like Max, a big softy deep down I bet. A big teddy bear, oh that’s perfect especially with those amber eyes.
We’re face to face with the way he’s braced against the wood, leaning down to me. I never noticed he has the faintest freckles dotting the top parts of his cheeks. I nearly reach my hand up but catch myself at the last second.Don’t be weird.
“First, you never have to thank me for taking care of you. I want to do that as long as you’ll let me.” That sounds very serious. “Second, you need to know I will be there for you no matter what. I know you agreed to the courting but it’s written all over your face you aren’t sure about any of this. I won’t speak for the pack, only myself. I am all in with you Thea. I want to know you beyond those demons that are haunting you.”
His expression is nothing short of fierce. A flicker of something crosses his face before it’s gone. He already called me out for not being sure about this, regardless of the scent match. I place my hand on his chest, his heart is beating so fast. His expression shudders at my touch and he lets out a breath, like he’s been holding it since we met.
“And last, don’t ever call me ‘sir’ unless you’re ready for the consequences,” he says with a new heat in his gaze that has me actually perfuming. Surprise crosses both of our faces. I haven’t perfumed since Connor. He stands up abruptly and takes a step back, my hand falling away. Part of me is hurt at his sudden distance. Keelan is breathing heavier. Is this part of the mini heatsLiam was talking about? No I don’t feel any different.Just calm down, Thea.
“I understand.” I hop off the railing. “Now what do you need help with?”
He looks grateful for the out that we both need right now. He motions to the railing on the other side of this post. “Sanding,” he says bluntly.
Curious what his vision is for this projection, I ask, “What’s your plan for all this?”
Holy shit. This giant alpha is blushing. He can say, “Don’t call me sir unless you’re ready for the consequences,” with a total straight face but when I ask about his work, he blushes. Total teddy bear.
“It’s going to be a variety of woodland scenes. The posts and banisters will have tree carvings with various birds and small animals included. I’m still working on a couple ideas for the railings—maybe a river in the middle with animals on either side. Probably bears.” He cuts off, chuckling to himself. At my confused look, he says, “You’ll find in the Adirondacks there’s an abundance of bear art.” I smile at that, I guess places need some kind of signature or trademark.
“You should carve some foxes. They’re native around here, right?”
“They are. Why foxes?”
I shrug. “They’re my favorite, but they’re also beautiful animals and I figure an easier one to include in a carving. I have a lot of drawings of them if you want some references.” I then realize my inner art geek is coming out. “Sorry that’s dumb. You probably would rather have actual photos.”
“I’d love to see your drawings.” I look up at him, blinking at how serious he looks. Excitement runs through me. I pull out my phone and move closer to him so he can see. Thankfully I have everything in an album, otherwise it would take forever to find the photos of my work. I haven’t drawn a fox or landscape in along time. Pulling up the album, I start swiping through the photos.
He comments here and there on the poses and anatomy. When we get to the end of the album he says, “You’re very talented. I mean that.” Now it’s me who’s blushing.
“It’s just a hobby. Your work is amazing. It was the first thing I really noticed in the lodge. That library is beautiful. I was jealous of it.” I laugh a little. He looks at me, confused, so I explain, “The library, I love to read and it’s always been a dream to have a room dedicated for my books. We always lived in apartments and the spare room was my nest so there wasn’t much space. Plus I wouldn’t want to take up more space when I had a nest I loved. I was happy waiting until we were able to buy a house…” I trail off with the sad realization of how that future is long gone. I mean I knew that already, I just never really acknowledged it.
Keelan must pick up on my mood shift as he puts his arm around me, hugging me to him. We spend the rest of the afternoon talking about the designs for this project as I sand the shit out of this railing. It felt really nice to just talk about design. The creativity was what I loved about my job initially. I think Keelan enjoyed our talk, I get the impression he doesn’t talk about his work with others much.When I eventually got home, for the first time since Connor died, I drew and it feltgood.
30
BEN
As I come down the stairs, someone lets out a whistle.
“Looking good hot stuff,” Eli says, waggling his eyebrows.
Smiling in spite of myself, I tease him, “I’m surprised you’re not still pouting that I got the first date.”
“Pfft you heard her we’re all equally important. What are you guys doing anyways?” he asks.