Page 45 of Rugged Hearts: Part One
Pulling up to the cabin, I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Keelan’s truck here. I was hoping he’d be here working instead of at the pack house, where most of the pack would be. The house is big enough and it’s not like they’d know I was there but it just feels better to do this with slightly more privacy. Ironic, considering we’re out in the open on this porch. At least it’s the last cabin on this side and only the woods are behind us. The other cabin, which I know for a fact no one is staying in right now, is on the other side of this one, doesn’t have the porch.
Walking up the steps, I rub my shaking hands along the skater skirt I’m wearing. I tried to look a little more presentable with a sweater, skirt and black tights. If he reacts badly, I can just burn the outfit as a stress reliever, right? That is dark, Thea, and too extreme. It’s going to be fine. I’ve done this before, once. Holy shit I’m probably going to end up having a conversation like this seven times. Actually no, because Micah wants nothing to do with me let alone a romantic relationship. But still,six times. Maybe the others will initiate some of the conversations. I could see Eli, Jake, and even Ben being the ones to bring it up.Ugh, get out of your head.
Looking around, I notice Keelan sitting on the floor drawingon the bottom piece of wood where the spindles normally latch into for the railings. As usual he’s too lost in his project to notice me, at least until I get closer and his head shoots up, turning to look at me. I hold back a laugh at the sight of his legs spread out hunched over. All I see is one of those childhood cartoons of bears sitting on their butts. I guess I don’t hold in the laugh well since I’m definitely smiling. He sits up, no longer hunched over working, and with his height he still comes up to the middle of my stomach.
“Hey,” I say softly. Good opener.
“Hey,” he draws out, “are you okay? Liam never came home last night and he said you left sick.”
Oh yeah, I didn’t think about having to explain last night. I don’t really feel like going into the details of it all yet. At least not until I get what I came here to say out. “Yeah, Liam helped me through it last night and stayed to make sure I didn’t get sick again. I’m totally fine now, no need to worry.”
He moves to get up, all the while saying, “I’ll always worry about you, don’t you know that by now?” He’s now standing just a couple feet away. I take a step closer, even though I have to crane my neck a little to see his face now, I need his scent. It washes over me, and helps refuel my resolve. No more running.
“I do. That’s part of why I came here to find you.” His brows scrunch together slightly but his expression doesn’t change, still full of openness as that caring man stares back at me.
“Okay I don’t think I have it in me to be super eloquent about it and I haven’t done this in what eight, no I guess it’s nine years now, but Keelan…” I look him in the eye. “I think I’m falling in love with you and it fucking terrifies me, but, and now I’m being just as honest as I can, I’m trying to get out of my own way when it comes to you and the pack. Just everything that’s happening between us all. I don’t really know how to be happy anymore and sometimes I think I don’t deserve to be when Connor isn’t here. So I’m probably not the best omega for you or any of the guys to really have around?—”
He cuts me off with a kiss. I’m thrown off guard, I didn’t expect it since they’ve all been treating me like a glass figurine when it comes to intimacy of any kind. Which wasn’t necessarily wrong, but that is clearly out the window right now.
The kiss is urgent and demanding. His large hand cups the side of my face and jaw, tilting my head even more to meet him better. I rise up on my tiptoes, meeting him in the kiss and letting him drive it until he breaks away. We’re both breathing heavier than before. Then suddenly he’s lifting me by the backs of my thighs and I instinctively put my arms around him to hold on. Taking a few steps behind me, he places me on the railing, thankfully not one that’s been sanded yet. He leans down, bracing his arms on either side of me, trapping me in, but it doesn’t feel like a trap. There’s fire in his eyes, not just passion from that kiss, but something else. I reach up and finally run my fingers through his beard. It’s so soft. His eyes shudder close as a deep breath escapes him. His hand comes up to hold mine that’s on his face. His eyes flutter open, locking with mine. “Don’t ever say you don’t deserve to be happy again. You have seven scent matches, I think the fates or whoever made it so, would agree with me that you deserve every happiness the world can give you.”
His thumb brushes along the back of my hand, bringing it away from his face, holding it in his as he continues, “And you are the perfect omega for me, for the pack. We don’t expect you to be happy and pleasant all the time. That’s not real. If you think we want that then you probably would’ve scared us off, me especially, on the anniversary of Connor’s death. But that didn’t happen. We’re all still here. I’m still here, no matter what. Understand me, Baby Girl?”
My mouth is slightly agape, I don’t really know how to respond other than to nod. “In case what I just said and that kiss weren’t clear, I’ve been falling for you. I hope I keep falling and never feel the ground again.” This time I initiate the kiss. I’m not as forceful as he was but the urgency is there. I swear part of my shattered heart just melted back together. It’s not totally fixed butthere’s one less jagged piece.Who knows what my heart will look like as my relationships with the pack continue to deepen.
It’s not long before Keelan takes control of the kiss. It’s interesting seeing this side of him. It makes me excited to see more. Just as that thought hits, I feel it. The need and the beginnings of cramps. No, no, no, not now. I break away from the kiss quickly but he has me trapped on this railing. He looks confused before realization hits him. My scent is deeper, heavier than usual, similar to how it’d be when my heat hits.
“Is this your heat?”
“No it’s a mini heat it happened last night, I didn’t think another one would happen so soon.”
“Last night—with Liam?”
“Yeah he helped me through it,” I say in a rush before realizing how it sounds. “Not like that, I had heat cramps that were debilitating and my temp spiked. He got me in a cold bath and took care of me after.”
“What do you need?” he asks as his hand massages the side of my neck and shoulder where it rests. It hasn’t moved from when we were kissing. That touch is not helping things. I did decide earlier he’d be one of the guys in the pack I’d be most comfortable with in this scenario. I just didn’t expect it to happen today. Maybe it was my own horny thoughts setting it off, but I don’t even care at this point.
“Fuck me,” I say definitively, surprising him and myself.
His eyes widen in shock at my request. He probably thought I’d say another cold bath. Nope I wanted to do this anyways with Keelan and the timing just moved up. Maybe it’s the universe agreeing, with no more running. Huh well let’s test it.
“Are you sure? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I want to. Please Keelan,” I say, a whine nearly slipping out. The cramps are building. It took less than five minutes for them to get as bad as they were last night.
I don’t know if it was the begging or the whine but something snaps in him and he’s kissing me, hard. If I thought our first kisswas demanding this is another level. I feel him shuffling a little as we kiss, when we break away I see his jacket is off. He lays it on the floor, then lifts me again and places me so gently on top of it. He’s hovering over me, taking up my entire field of view. It feels like we’re the only ones in existence right now. Another wave of cramps hit, causing me to cry out, “Keelan, please.”
His eyes, the amber brown I love so much, are swallowed up by his pupils. With a sigh, he says, “It’s going to have to be quick, I didn’t want our first time like this.”
Reaching up and pulling him down so he’s close enough to kiss, I whine, “I know, please I need you right now alpha.”
With a growl he’s pushing up my skirt, and I’m suddenly cursing myself for wearing tights. Before he can say anything I nearly shout, “Just rip them.” As soon as I say ‘rip’ I hear and feel them tearing. My slick was already soaking through everything. Keelan inserts two of his big fingers in me, both frustrating me and turning me on more. Another whine slips out, causing him to chuckle. Then he’s pulling away and I hear the unmissable sound of him undoing his belt and jeans. I let out a sigh of relief but it’s short-lived, I’m not ready when he slowly begins entering me. I didn’t see his cock from my position butholy fuckit feels huge. It quite literally steals my breath as I gasp at the sudden stretch. I’m writhing around, fingers digging into his shoulders. I honestly don’t know if it’s pleasure or to escape whatever monster cock he has.
His hand is suddenly cupping my face, his thumb making soothing strokes on my cheek as he braces over me with his other hand. “Shh, it’s alright. How are you?” I appreciate him checking in more than I can say at this moment.
“Good,” I say hoarsely. I’m so hot, I really hope Liam was right about a knot appeasing these mini heats. I’ve never felt so hot before. “Please alpha, fuck me.”
Keelan looks at me intensely for a second before he slowly starts moving his hips. All the while he keeps his hand cupping my face. It’s grounding having that connection, I bring up myown hand to hold him there just in case. He’s going deliciously slow and there was a slight pain at the start just from the stretch but it’s gone now. I need more. More speed. More connection.