Page 29 of Rugged Hearts: Part One
“To put it simply her body has a lot built-up from the suppressants. There’s a reason the rule is two years on, one year off. It’s so the body can regulate itself and if it can’t, the problem can be addressed safely. It’s been ten years for Thea, with no breaks. How this manifests leading up to the heat is she may have essentially mini heats, short bursts of heat that can last anywhere from twenty minutes to a couple hours. The dangerous element, even for these mini heats, is her temperature spiking too high. In the few cases I’ve read, the omega almost always had to be hospitalized so her temp could be regulated safely. Even then it’s not a guarantee, there is at least one case of an omega dying,” Liam explains, stopping short when Keelanlets out a loud growl that makes me jump. His growl is cut off at my reaction.
He mutters a quick, “Sorry.”
I give him a tentative smile so he knows I’m okay. “It’s going to be tricky but I know we will be able to manage it, together,” Liam finishes.
“That’s if any of you want to help with my heat. I’m not going to assume just because of the scent match you would. I’m also not really in a place where I want to be with anyone in that way. My body is kind of forcing the situation. I originally told Liam I would ride this out on my own,” I say tentatively.
“And I told you that there is zero chance you could survive this heat on your own,” he says pointedly.
It’s quiet for a couple minutes before Jake asks, “If we want to help with your heat would you want us there?”
I look at all of them and I swear it’s like they’re hanging on my response. I told Parker how I felt. I wasn’t sure about the whole relationship part. This should be easier it’s just sex. But I had only ever been with Connor, I just can’t imagine myself with another person, let alone seven. Gods, who thought seven scent matches was a good idea?
“I—I don’t know,” I start. Eli and Keelan’s faces fall immediately. “I just am not comfortable being with people I don’t know. But also I was only ever with one person, it’s just a lot, emotionally. I’m sorry, I know it’s just sex. I shouldn’t be so hung up on it.”
Surprisingly it’s Eli who says, “You do not need to apologize, at all. It’s your heat, your body. You should be comfortable with whoever you share that with. We will help in any way you want us too, right guys?” A chorus of agreements sound. Micah doesn’t say anything, just looks at me, brows pinched together as if he’s confused.
“What if we court you between now and your heat? I mean we were going to do that anyways, then you’ll be getting to know allof us and spending time with the pack,” Ben suggests, a hopeful tone to his voice.
Do I tell them what I said to Parker earlier about the relationship thing? I look at him. He looks just as hopeful. I don’t know if he was speaking on behalf of the pack earlier or just himself.
Ugh, come on Thea. Get it together.
Ben’s right, I figured they’d want to start courting in some way after finding out about the scent matches thing. Getting to know them will help, and it can’t hurt. But can I get to know them and keep my heart out of it? I have to because I don’t want a relationship. I had the love of my life, I’m done. I wish Connor was here. How would he have adjusted to me courting with seven other men? He was used to having me all to himself, maybe it would’ve been hard on him. But then again he grew up in a pack. It probably would’ve been normal for him.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” I smile at Ben and he looks like I just told him he won the lottery. That’s weird, right? People shouldn’t get so happy at the idea of spending time with someone. Or am I becoming even more pessimistic than I was before this past year? Maybe both?
“First date,” Eli shouts, making me jump then burst out laughing. A few of the guys laugh with a couple grumbling.
Ben is actually the one to call him out. “You can’t call dibs! She’s our omega, some respect Eli. Anyways it was my idea so I should get the first date.” He winks at me, clearly baiting Eli. I laugh under my breath, trying to keep a straight face.
Eli scoffs lightly. “Nope, play for it.” He gets up and stands in front of Ben. I look between them, confused.
“One, two, three,” Eli counts down. Then they both play rock paper scissors. These grown men settling things like this is so silly. It’s nice seeing that side of them though.
Eli plays rock and Ben plays paper. Ben is smiling triumphantly. “Too bad, guess that means yours should be the last date.” Eli looks at me genuinely disappointed.
I decide to help him out. “I think I should get a say who I goout with and when,” I say pointedly to Ben even though I know he’s just messing with Eli.
Now it’s Ben’s turn to be surprised. “Of course—I didn’t—I mean…”
“I’m just messing with you guys.” I pat his arm, hopefully relieving the brief stress that overcame him. “How about Eli and I go out after our date, Ben? So second if you had to put an order on it which I don’t really like. It’s not like any of you are more important than the others.”
The room is silent and I start to wonder if I said the wrong thing. I just know packs should be equal. If anything, Connor’s parents were a great example at showing the balance a pack can have and what it looks like when it works. I asked Sophie about pack dynamics a few years ago, I think it was after an argument with Connor about waiting to bond until we find our pack. I wanted to understand what the appeal was for him to wait. She explained it pretty well then Mateo actually expanded on it, talking about the bonds between the men in the pack that surround the omega. For them at least it’s a brotherhood, a chosen family, a bond that isn’t tangible or felt like a bitten bond. That when they find their omega they’ll work together to make him or her happy and safe. All while nurturing the individual relationships. I would think it’s similar for this pack. Even if I’m not ready for a romantic relationship, I don’t want them to feel like any one of them is favored.I need them all.Whoa, no you don’t.That thought has got to go, we aren’t out here collecting Pokémon.
It’s Liam who breaks the silence. “You’re absolutely right, we’re all equal.”
I look around, noticing some of the guys still have strange looks on their faces. Mainly Parker, Keelan, and Micah.
Since Parker is still on the floor in front of me I decide to just ask him, “Are you okay?”
His eyes snap to mine like he’s coming out of a daze. “Huh? Yeah, I’m good.”
Mhm, I don’t fully buy that but I’ve definitely done that morethan once around most of them before so I won’t push. “I should probably walk over to the lodge now to get my car,” I say, kind of abrupt but the sudden silence was getting to me.
“I’ll walk with you.” Jake stands to leave. I say my goodbyes and thank yous for breakfast. Ben promises to let me know sometime tomorrow when our date will be.When we’re outside I take a deep breath of the fresh air with no one’s scents tinging the air but my own. Instinctually I’m at ease and comfortable around their scents but it’s simultaneously overwhelming. I’m not used to this. I mean I never was, at least not on this scale.
Jake follows me out on to the porch not too long after. Since we’re outside, I only get light hints of his scent here and there. The feeling of peace is welcome nonetheless. We walk in silence for the initial stretch until we reach the densely wooded area of the path and the house is out of sight.