Page 56 of Rugged Hearts: Part One

“Well first of all, we can always get different items to switch out whenever you want. Second, I’m pretty sure whatever you pick we’ll all like. The important thing about that bed is the fact we’re sharing it with you.” I tilt her face up to look at me.The urge to kiss her is so strong.

“Okay,” she says softly. She ends up getting three sets for the bed.

When we checkout she moves to grab her purse which Jake promptly shuts down with a sharp look. She gives a slight huff but I think she likes being taken care of and just doesn’t want to admit it. Maybe it’s because she’s been on her own so much this last year she’s not used to others doing things for her.

As we return home she texts Keelan, Parker, and Eli to come help with the bags. The three of them are all waiting out front when we pull up. I wonder why she didn’t ask Liam, maybe she didn’t know if he was home, however, it’s the weekend so he usually is.

We’re quite the group as we trail behind this small curvy omega up the stairs to the third floor. She ends up leading us through the pack bedroom and into the en suite instead of the nest. Odd considering most of this is for the nest.

“Okay you can leave everything in here. I need to wash it all before it goes in the nest.” I didn’t think about that.Omegas are so sensitive to scents more than betas and alphas. It’s understandable she’d want them cleaned before going in her nest.

“Oh also, can you all give me some items of clothing of yoursfor the nest?” she asks tentatively. “I still need to ask Liam and…just Liam for something too.”

She was going to say Micah. The frustration I have for him is ramping up. He was a complete dick to her the other day.Now that she’s bonded to two members of our pack he has to realize she isn’t planning on leaving. Given his history none of us judge him for being guarded when we found Thea and realized she was our scent match. But he’s taking it too far at this point.

The rest of the guys slowly file out but I stay behind. She’s already digging through the bags, removing tags and sorting them into piles. I probably shouldn’t interrupt an omega who’s dealing with her nesting materials. Crouching down opposite her, I offer, “Can I help with anything?” She looks up a little surprised, her hazel eyes widening.

“Oh, uhm.” She begins looking around at the bags scattered on the floor. “Can you sort out the pillows? Take off the covers we need to wash and put the pillows in the tub for now so they aren’t on the floor.”

“I can do that.” I smile back at her. She returns the smile which makes me feel like I won something. As we work silently, I can’t help but want to know more about her life before the stalker, and losing Connor. It’s completely understandable how those two events are dominating her thoughts and life right now but what was she like before. It’s like we see glimpses of it, or that’s what I assume. Taking a risk, I ask, “What was your nest like back in Florida?”

I’m not looking directly at her as I’m busy with the task she assigned me but the sudden quiet has me regretting the question. Before I can brush it off, she says with a sigh, “It was perfect. We lived in an apartment building and Connor loved being outdoors. I had always wanted to go to the mountains somewhere and hike. So my nest became our little oasis. Forest green was the predominate color, it felt like the safest place in the world when he was holding me there.” She wipes at her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” I say, sitting on the floor next to her and placing my arm around her.

“You didn’t, I should talk more about Connor before everything. It’s not fair to his memory to let how, or why, he died overshadow the eight years we were together. I need to keep reminding myself of that. Especially now that I’m not constantly pushing down those memories.”

“What do you mean?”

She turns her head into my chest, taking in deeper breathes, scenting me. “This past year, since I ran away, I had to lock up everything Connor related in mind. Especially those first few months in North Carolina. That’s where we planned to go before he died. We had a trip planned to the mountains there for two weeks, and we were going to bond there. I couldn’t handle the grief of his loss, the guilt that came with the stalker admitting he killed him, and then being close to the area we were supposed to bond. It was all too much. By the time I had to run again, I had my locked boxes in my head figured out. It was the only way I felt I could stay sane.” She lifts her head to meet my eyes.

“That is until I got here. I honestly don’t know if it’s the slower pace of this town, meeting my scent matches, the anniversary of his death, but ever since I got here those boxes I kept locked up tight started cracking until they finally shattered.” So many emotions are swirling in her eyes. I cup her face in my hand, and her eyes close as she leans into me. Resting my forehead against hers, I close my eyes as well and we stay just like that.

“Do you feel shattered?” I whisper.

“I did every day for over a year, until recently. I’m starting to feel those pieces come together again. It scares the shit out of me.”

Opening my eyes so I can see her, I ask my next question, “Why?”

Her eyes open too, “It scares me to be happy without him here, like he didn’t matter in the end. It scares me to be happy in alife he wanted for us so badly. It scares me because I can’t lose anyone else I care about, I won’t survive it.”

Tears are flowing from her eyes again, I wipe them away with my thumb, still cradling her face. “I can’t promise you nothing will happen to any of us, no one can make that promise. But we will get through this, it’s what a pack, what a family does. No one wants to act like Connor didn’t matter. He’s part of our pack whether he’s here or not. Tell us more stories about him, so we can know him too.”

An idea suddenly hits me and I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, texting Liam. “Are you up for one last adventure today?” Her eyes are still watery, but the sadness that filled them gives way to curiosity. She nods as I help her to her feet.

“Why are we at a tattoo shop?” Thea questions.All traces of tears are gone now.

“I’d like to know as well,” Liam adds on.

I roll my eyes at him, he is the worst for spur of the moment plans but it’s his friend who did his tattoos.

“You might not know this about our good doctor, but he’s got some pretty impressive tattoos,” I say.

Thea turns to him, shock written all over her face. I hold back my laugh, knowing full well she hasn’t seen them, and how he gives off the hard ass, straitlaced, boring vibe.

“Anyways, I thought since you and Connor weren’t able to bond and you can’t have his mark on you, maybe getting a tattoo in memory of him would feel like his mark.”

Thea is looking at me with so much gratitude I don’t know how to deal with it. Looking at Liam isn’t any better. He gets how important this would be for her. Thea is suddenly hugging me so tightly. If I didn’t know better I’d be worried she’d break something. “Thank you, thank you,” she whispers against my chest.