Page 34 of Rugged Hearts: Part One
“Not just one,” she laughs it off. “Basically everyone in management and the executive suite were awful.”
“What did you do for work before?”
“I did marketing in corporate. I started there out of college so it was my first job in my chosen career. The first couple years my confidence in my career was low.” She shrugs. “It just took a while to build. It’s not like my bosses gave positive feedback either. It was always just adding more and more work. I know now how toxic it was there and I get mad at my past self for how much I gave to that place that just didn’t care about me at all.”
I reach over and squeeze her hand. She gives me a tentative smile before continuing, “With the suppressants, I started them when I presented as an omega in the middle of college. Ipresented late at nineteen. It just made sense to go on them, finish school and deal with it later. Unfortunately, at the start of my senior year my mom passed away from cancer. My parents were both betas, and I was adopted as a baby. They were bonded.” I raise my brows. It’s not common for beta couples to bond.
“My dad, I don’t know how he did it but he held on nearly another year. He saw me graduate and a month later he passed. I wasn’t surprised, but you know he was my dad so it still wasn’t easy. That was the first time I took the suppressants when I should have had a year off. I just didn’t have it in me to deal with my heat for the first time after losing both of them within a year.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” I say, squeezing her hand in reassurance.
“I do. I know Liam judges me for taking them for so long. I get it, after the second round I should have come off them. I felt so pressured to not miss work for my heat. By the time I should’ve gone off it was clear at my job how much they looked down on the omegas who took their heat leave. The snide comments made about them happened more than once while they were out. I didn’t want them to do it to me. I know it’s stupid to let that determine something so important. That’s why it was a recurring issue with me and Connor. That and the bonding were the only things we ever really fought over.”
“I’m so sorry you had to work somewhere like that. They should be reported.”
She laughs at that. “Yeah they probably should be, that’s the tamest I could say about them. You should have seen the way they were when the stalking started. It was about a month into it when I finally quit. Connor even came storming to the office to help. Another flower delivery came with a creepy note and I had told them over and over again not to deliver anything to my desk and they kept “forgetting” about it. It just got too much. We made a scene and in the end I didn’t care for once. Later that day when me and Connor were sitting in a local park, I felt so free. Like a constant weight was suddenly lifted off of me.”
“What did you do after? Did you get another marketing job?”
“No, Connor convinced me to take time for myself. That I deserved it after being at that hellhole for so long.”
“He sounds like a great man.”
Thea gives me a watery smile. “He was.” She then tries to laugh it off. “Sorry I didn’t mean to ramble and dump all that on you.”
“Hey, you don’t have to apologize. I want to know about your life before you came here, the good, the bad, and everything in between.” I squeeze her hand again. It’s the only physical contact we’ve had and it’s like I’m trying to pour everything I want her to know into the action.
Thea nods in response before continuing to eat, She pauses to say, “So what about you? I know the basics of how the pack came together and how you ended up here in the mountains. Do you have a big family outside the pack?”
“No, similar to you I have beta parents. I’m not close with them. There’s really no reason for it, we just have our own lives.” I stop, thinking further on that. “Well, I guess that’s not completely true. They didn’t really understand why I joined a pack. They weren’t against it necessarily but they just didn’t get it. That probably created more distance between us. I don’t think of them often to be honest. That sounds kind of bad.”
“It doesn’t. I didn’t mean to bring up anything painful.”
“It’s not like that, it just is,” I say with a shrug.
“My parents were kind of like that. Not about packs but, when I presented so late as an omega it was a surprise to everyone, including my parents. They stressed to me to not let my designation determine or hold me back from what I wanted to do with my life.”
I look at her, confused. “Why would they stress that?”
“Well I told you about my old job. It was a toxic environment for omegas. But also there’s the stereotype of omegas being homemakers. As if we can’t do other things,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “I always liked art and design; marketing seemed like agood fit, and the business elements intrigued me in college. Though, even if this whole stalker situation gets resolved, I don’t think I could ever go back to a corporate life. It’s quite literally soul crushing.”
“You know there’s this little small-town lodge right on the lake that could use someone to help market it.” I smile.
“Really?! Wait, I don’t want you to just say that because we’re courting. I’ll show you my work. I don’t have my portfolio with me, it’s back in Florida but I’ll look up some of the campaigns I worked on and show them to you,” she says excitedly, eyes lighting up with delight.
“I’m not just saying it because we’re courting. So far we’ve used some freelancers for targeted ads or specific campaigns. It’d be great to have someone who’s actually been to the lodge and seen it, create something,” I begin, before adding something I haven’t voiced yet to the rest of the pack yet. “Actually, I’m hoping to add some new amenities in the coming year or two. A new building with more recreational activities for the guests as well as maybe some type of sports field outside. Nothing terribly big, just enough for whatever the guests and their families might want to do. When we initially started the focus was on a getaway, retreat to the mountains to enjoy nature. Which is still a big part of our mission but having more amenities will only help the guests enjoy their time here more.”
“That sounds like a great plan. Oh I just got an idea for a possible ad!” she chatters with the biggest smile I’ve seen from her tonight. I can’t help smiling in response. She starts going on a tangent about possible designs. For once that haunted look that is usually present in her eyes is gone. I’m not going to interrupt her when she’s like this.
Soon we finished eating and quickly clean up. Next thing I know we’re sitting on the couch looking for a movie to watch, settling on a sci-fi movie.
She’s so close, sitting right next to me. Gods, I feel like a teenager on my first ever date. As I’m thinking of how to subtlyput my arm around her, she ends up resting her head on my shoulder. Her vanilla and woodsmoke scent invades my senses even more. I will never get sick of it. Before we told her everything, those couple weeks I even bought vanilla scented candles to light in my room. Will she think that’s weird? Is it? Mhm, maybe I don’t need to share that little tidbit.
I know she isn’t ready for anything beyond what we’re doing. I respect that, and I’m letting her set the pace. Acknowledging that, I still barely pay attention to the movie as she cuddles into me, finally wrapping my arm around her and holding her. I swear I feel something in me click into place and I feel…complete. By the time the movie ends she’s fallen asleep. I’m sitting there watching her sleep like a total creep and I don’t even care. She looks so peaceful and light. The stress she carries all day melts away. I’m not sure how much time passes but in order to leave, I’ll have to wake her up. I gently shake her shoulder, and her eyes snap open.
For the briefest moment fear is in her eyes, before recognition comes in and it disappears. She looks around, taking in the TV’s dark screen “Oh I fell asleep, I’m so sorry.” She sits up quickly getting a little flustered.
“Hey, hey it’s okay. You’re pretty cute when you sleep.” I try to make light of it and immediately realize how creepy that sounded. Thankfully she just laughs at my horrible attempt.