Page 39 of Rugged Hearts: Part One
“It’s a powerful statement. Rare to find that kind of connection.” He looks at me more intently. The double meaning isn’t lost on me.I was so lost in enjoying the drive I didn’t notice where we pulled into. Looking around, I take in the building and its sign. Hometown Lanes.
“Bowling?”
“Yup, it’ll be fun,”he says as he gets out of the car.
I haven’t been bowling since I was in high school. It’s one of the few things you can do as teenagers, especially with a group of people. Eli walks around the car to my side and takes my hand before we start heading towards the building. He looks back suddenly, as if checking that I was okay. I just squeeze his hand in reassurance. I swear that has become my signal to most of them that everything is alright. He smiles but this time it’s a softer one; I want to see that one more often.
We enter the bowling alley and my eyes sweep around the room. It’s a typical setup with the lanes and a food area in the back, and what looks like a small arcade down a short hall near the check-in. I guess being up here in the mountains there wouldn’t be much to do especially during the off season. After we get our shoes, we both take in the lanes. It’s a Sunday but it’s still busy here. Almost all the lanes are full except two, which Eli leads us towards them. Once we have our lane, I leave my shoes on the seat and go to pick out a ball. Eli follows not long after.
I really don’t know anything about bowling other than the basics, so I just pick the prettiest ball that I think I can actually throw. Grabbing a purple one that seems about right, I headback.When Eli returns with his ball, he asks, “Did you want to get food before we start?”
Not feeling hungry right now, I reply with, “No, let’s play one round then get some.”
Nodding in agreement, he goes over and puts in our names to track the score. But instead of our names he puts, Sunshine and Acting Legend. I burst out laughing. “Your name is a fantasy just like your chances of beating me are.”
He lets out anohhh. “We’re playing like that are we? Well game on,” he says with mock seriousness.I don’t remember being particularly good at this but I do get competitive. He’ll probably win but it’s still fun playing it up.
Before long we each have one shot left, and he’s winning, of course. But I actually held my own better than I thought. He’s not completely obliterating me, score-wise. Soon it’s over; he’s the winner. He gloats a tiny bit as he comes over to my seat.
Eli leans down with his arms on either side of the chair. “So what’s my prize for winning?” He says it playfully but there’s a heat in his dark eyes. And that’s when my body chooses to perfume. His brown eyes dilate slightly as he takes in my scent. We’re suspended in this moment—until the group of teenagers next to us cheer loudly, breaking the spell. He pulls away reluctantly and I search my bag for my travel size descenter. I reapply quickly.
Eli watches as I spray it over myself. “You don’t have to hide who you are with that.” He gestures to the spray.
“It’s just easier that way. Omegas stick out, just better if I blend in and not risk anyone noticing me.”
“It’d be impossible for someone to not notice you. Even without your scent, you shine in any room you’re in. When we first met before I scented you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had seen. I was actually conflicted you were moving into our rental since I wasn’t sure if that’d be super creepy if I wanted to ask you out.”
“It definitely would’ve been creepy,” I say with a teasing laugh.
Since our first game is over, we start walking towards the food area. The teenagers that were next to us are getting a little rowdier. As we walk past them, I turn my head to see what’s going on, a flash goes off, indicating that someone took a picture. Was I in the background, and if they post it willhebe able to find me? No that’d be crazy. Suddenly it feels like every pair of eyes in the building are on me. I’m frozen. Eli walks on and within a couple steps, notices I’m no longer next to him. Looking back, his face goes from a slightly confused expression to concern and…fear? I don’t know what he sees when he looks at me but it has him rushing towards me. I need to get out of here, my chest feels tight. Seeing so many people around me is adding to my panic.
Eli’s hand is on my back guiding me somewhere. I don’t really know. The noise of the bowling alley fades as we come to a stop.“Thea? Can you hear me? What’s wrong?” he asks, panicking.
I can’t speak. Everything feels locked up in fear. I shake my head before realizing he probably thinks I said no to not being able to hear him. Maybe his scent will help. I move as much as I can and nuzzle into his chest, taking in his scent. His heart is beating almost as fast as mine. I wish I could speak. I’ve never felt so trapped in my own skin before. I’ve had some panic attacks over the last year but nothing like this.
His arms wrap around me and we end up siting together on the floor. After who knows how long I take a deep breath, and it feels like I’m breathing for the first time in years. I peer up at him, noticing how scared he looks. I feelawfulfor doing that to him.
“It’s okay, we’re alone and don’t need to leave until you’re ready.” He says as his hand makes soothing motions along my back.
I swallow, hoping my voice will come out. “I’m sorry.” Well, that came out more like a croak. Water is probably needed but I don’t want to leave our position.
His brows furrow, lips pinched together. “Listen to me, youdo notapologize for feeling whatever you’re feeling and having a panic attack.”
“But…I scared you.”
“Damn right you did. When I saw you standing there you looked like you were about to pass out. You didn’t react to anything I said, just had this panicked look.”
I never used to have panic attacks before—the stalking, Connor dying, running for my life. The fear and shaking it brought on is fading. My fingers that are bunched in his shirt like I was holding on for dear life are finally relaxing.
“How are you feeling?” he asks gently.
“Better…I don’t think I can go back in there.” Just the thought of all of those people seeing me makes the fear rise within me again.
“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I can go get our things. But I’m not leaving you until I know you’re okay.” He hugs me to him. I guess he needs as much reassurance as I do, so I won’t argue. We stay like that for a while until the panic has long passed.
“I’m okay, promise.”
He looks at me skeptically before nodding.