Page 49 of Rugged Hearts: Part One

“I texted her trying to get to know her or just asking about her day. You know normal small talk, as painful as it is, especially for me. She used it as an opportunity to forward me videos and links to diets and workout routines. Eventually I blocked her number without telling anyone. That was about three months into the six months-long courtship. She realized what I did later on, before we found out she was cheating, and acted all hurt to Eli. He chewed me out for being so heartless and not making an effort to get to know our omega.”

Eli did that? I would’ve expected it to be Micah. I don’t interrupt as he continues, knowing well enough myself how you just need to say everything all at once so you can close that door again. “The last couple months of the courtship were rough. The three of us who she didn’t favor, Keelan, Ben, and me pulled away from the pack. They didn’t really notice, not until after we found out the truth about her. I was so relieved when that happened. I thought foolishly that the pack would go back to how we were before she ever entered our lives.”

He pauses. Squeeze. Squeeze. His hand is now almost limp in mine. I need to distract him from his thoughts. “That’s when Micah punched you?” I hear him suck in a breath. “Eli told me that part.”

“Yeah he did,” he says sullenly. “Keelan was immediately on Micah after that and it took Jake, Eli, and Liam to pull him off. Keelan had a lot to let out that was more about him than me inthat moment, I think. But you should talk to him about that.” He’s the second person to say something like that. What did this evil omega do to my teddy bear?

“So that’s why you think I don’t want to be with you, because of how you look?”

He scoffs, which surprises me. “Of course. I know I leave a lot to be desired in my physical appearance. Look at the rest of the pack, all thin and muscled to different degrees. I’m just a fat homebody.”

Okay that’s it, I can’t take it anymore. I sit up so I can look at him square in the face. I know the thoughts he’s having I’ve been fat my entire life. It wasn’t until college that I started loving my body and embracing it. So I know whatever I say to compliment him, he’ll think I’m just saying it to make him feel better and don’t actually mean it. That was me in high school. This needs a different strategy to get it through to him.

“So you find me unattractive then too?”

His eyes widen and mouth drops open. “What…I…no, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“You literally just said you’re unattractive because of your weight. So if that’s true for you, it must be true for me too, right?”

“No it’s different for you, you’re a woman, an omega.”

Sighing, oh Gods this alpha is testing me. “First, women get a lot of shit for their weight regardless of designation. It took me years to be okay with my body and not care what others thought of me. Second, Iamattracted to you, I have been since we first met. Trust me, I didn’t want to acknowledge the attraction to you or the others because of everything I’m feeling still about Connor.”

“You can’t mean that, the others…”

I cut him off. “The others look how they look just as you and I do. I haven’t questioned any of the pack’s attraction to me because of my weight.” I then inhale slightly. “Everyone who lives in a ‘bigger than normal’ body has their own journey and feelings. For me it was during college. I was finally sick of hating my body andletting it define me. It took a lot of work to overcome my own negative self-talk.”

His eyes light up at that term. “My therapist says that a lot, I need to work on my self-talk.”

I nod. “Yeah it takes time, and it’s best not to get validation from others, rather from yourself on your body image. Regardless, I mean it with my entire being that I am attracted to you Parker. I’ll prove it.” Before he can react I’m kissing him. His returning kiss is so tentative, and I’m the one in control. Pressing my hand to his chest and bracing myself, I sit up higher, not breaking our kiss as I bring my other hand and run it through his hair. I lightly pull on it, making him gasp, opening his mouth for me to play with him further. Minutes go by and Parker has completely melted into our kissing, almost submitting to me. That thought turns me on more. By this point I’ve fully climbed into his lap and feel his hardening cock underneath me. I start grinding my hips against him and he whimpers at the contact.

I break away from our kiss but keep my hips moving slowly. He’s a bit breathless when he says, “Fuck, Goddess.”

Resting my forehead against his, I look into his darkened green eyes. “Now what were you saying about me finding you unattractive?” I take that moment to grind just a little harder against him.

“I…uh…was wrong. Forgive me Goddess.”

I give him a light kiss. “Nothing to forgive. We just have to work on that self-talk, yeah?”

He’s nodding enthusiastically. Doing all of that did turn me on, I actually want to go further but, he may not be ready for more. “Parker?”

“Mhm.” He’s definitely a little blissed out, I should stop moving. As I do his brows scrunch together in confusion. “Did you want to stop?” he asks.

“Only if you do. I’d like to continue if you’re comfortable with it.”

“You’re asking me?” He seems shocked.

“Yes, you.” I kiss him playfully on the nose.

“I need to worship my Goddess.” And then he’s kissing me like I’m going to disappear at any moment. I break away to take off his shirt and my own. I can see his insecurities coming back but I quickly move my kisses down his neck and along his soft chest. I wish he felt how I do right now about him. As I kiss down his chest and stomach, moving lower and adjusting my position I finally see the bulge I’ve been grinding against. No wonder it felt so good. I check in with him again as my hands hover over his waistband, and he nods.

He said he needed to worship me but today I need to worshiphim, show him he’s mine in every way. Pulling his pants and underwear down, I move and take them off completely. He’s now fully naked before me, his hard cock springing up, precum leaking in steady drops. Leaning down, I swirl my tongue around his wet head, tasting him for the first time. Both our scents are heavy and I’m perfuming.

I slowly begin sucking his cock, little by little, taking it into my mouth until it hits the back of my throat. I’m out of practice, but I hold it there, swallowing around his tip, hearing his moans as I do. Suddenly he’s pulling me off, both of us breathing heavily. “It’s…too good. Need a minute,” he says breathlessly.

Smiling, I kiss him deeply knowing he’ll be tasting himself on me. His hands are wandering, cupping my tits, then pinching my hard nipples, making me gasp into our kiss. It appears it’s his turn to explore as his mouth finds its way to my nipple, sucking it greedily into his mouth. I tilt my head back on a moan as he lightly bites it. That spurs him on. With his mouth busy, his hand goes under my leggings and, feeling how slick I am, he moans against me. Then his fingers are tracing circles around my clit. My hips are moving against his hand, demanding more. More feeling, more connection. My body is covered in a sheen layer of sweat from the heat he’s causing to build in me. I need more. Backing off slightly, I quickly take off my bottoms and return to his lap, running his hard cock through my soaking wet pussy.

“Please,” he begs, as if he doesn’t know what for but I do. It’s what we both need. Reaching down I angle him just right and sink down on his cock. He has more length than girth, but it’s no less satisfying. Our breaths are labored as I slowly move my hips. It’s so hot. My body keeps screaming at me.More. More.We’re kissing sloppily as my hips move faster. His knot is inflating quickly as I’m teasing it for the both of us. I kiss down his jaw and suck on his neck. I want a mark on him. So he knows he’s mine, my alpha, and I’m proud of it.More. More.My teeth scrape at his neck, not breaking skin, but he sucks in a breath all the same.