Page 78 of Never To Suffer (The Hollywoodland #4)

SHUT UP AND KISS ME

WINDSER

In all the years I’ve had this cat, not once has she bolted out the door.

Until tonight. It’s like she knew from some weird cat senses that I needed to step outside at that exact moment to see Dani, my rockstar goddess, standing in the hall, keys sticking out of her door.

Well, they were, until they fell to the floor making enough noise to scare Baguette and have her bolting down the stairs.

“I’m sorry! I’ll go get her!” Dani yells out, dropping her things.

“It’s fine!” I move toward her, picking up the bags of groceries she’s dropped. “No Skylar to help you tonight?”

“No, they’re at a meeting. Xander’s there for support.” She looks at the stairs like she’s going to cry. “Poor Baggy, I didn’t mean to scare her.”

“Eh, she won’t go far. She knows where the food is.” Sure enough, as soon as I start picking up the remaining bags, the cat pokes her little nose around the corner with a soft meow. She follows us in and I help put everything away, before I find myself standing there awkwardly.

“Hungry?”

“For take-out, no. But I could cook us something.” She sticks her tongue out at me and laughs. “I, uhm, actually I’m here for you. I got these tickets to a pop-up event tonight from my receptionist. She’s using me to keep her from going out and doing stupid things. Impulse control problems.”

“Sounds like my old co-worker, Kennedy.”

“Kennedy? Well, I highly doubt the odds are high for two of them with the same issues. You worked with Alexis?”

“Still do. That’s my day job. We took everything remote a few years ago, even my job as the receptionist. I never told you that?”

“No, I assumed when you came to work and hung around the coffee shop downstairs you were writing music and playing on the internet or something. Which sounds…terrible. I’m sorry.”

“Nah, I mean, you’re not totally wrong.” She twirls her hair around her finger, biting her lower lip as she avoids looking at me. “I don’t have a difficult job. And most of it involves playing around online and looking up new trends in music, fashion, and media. Research.”

“So, you tag along to work with me because…?”

“The coffee doesn’t suck?” I love the adorable way her face scrunches up, and I can’t take my eyes off her. I can’t keep my hands off her either, as they take on a mind of their own and slide under her shirt, rubbing against her hips.

“Do, uhm, we have time for a glass of wine before we go?” Her voice is so sultry and smooth, I could drown in it. When I nod, she giggles and reaches backward over her head, pulling down two coffee mugs.

I wish I could stop the laughter, but I can’t. “My place. Let’s go. I can’t even take you seriously here because you’re about to pull out a box of wine and it will, in fact, be the death of me, woman.”

“Hey, there’s nothing?—”

“Nope. Don’t finish that sentence. Let’s go.” I pick her up over my shoulder, smacking her ass as I walk through our passageway.

“Baggy, save me! I’ll give you salmon!” The cat darts around us both to paw at the door of the refrigerator. “Traitor! Your betrayal will be remembered come exile day!”

I put Dani down on the counter, but before I can pull away from her, her hands are around my neck.

She tastes like sweet lemon candy as we kiss over and over.

Other than the days she works downstairs, we don’t get much time alone together.

It never works out with our schedules. Even then, it’s not exactly easy to make a personal connection stuck in Los Angeles traffic.

Her hands slip up my shirt and she works on the buttons, taking her time.

I reach behind her and pull down a bottle of wine with one hand and two glasses with the other.

“Couch?”

“Couch.” Her legs wrap around me and I manage to carry her into the living room without dropping anything. When she slides down my body, a tingle of sparks along my spine.

“Oh, holy shit! Theo!” she yells, running over to my wall of books and sliding her fingers over the spines.

The shelves are overcrowded and probably a little dusty—it’s been a while since my last deep cleaning.

I’ve been…busy. She stops right where I knew she would, and the blush creeps up my cheeks as I pour the wine and walk up behind her.

“I’ve never even noticed all these books before. ”

“Yeah, you’re usually distracted by us or food when you’re over here.”

“You cleared this whole thing? Even with overflowing shelves?”

“They’re overflowing because I cleared this case.”

She pulls out the old but loved copy of The Hobbit, thumbing through it before she puts it back and takes out the next book in the series.

“You haven’t read these, any of them, have you?

” I shake my head and she smiles. “You cleared an entire shelf for him. All these other books are clinical or baking or non-fiction. They’re organized meticulously, except for what you’ve crammed into any available spot.

All that to give him his own bookshelf?”

“He said he hasn’t had one since he was young. His parents didn’t think reading fantasy would help him get anywhere in life, so he snuck them from the library and read under the covers.”

“He still does. He reads to me every night we spend together.”

“And he reads to me the other nights. These are the oldest, rarest versions I could find. I haven’t told him about the books yet. They came in yesterday and I’ve had to hide them. I’ve found others, too, but they’re newer. Something about sea gods or living by the sea.”

“Oh, I’ve heard some of those! He loves the, uhm, colorful word choices. They say things like ‘ by Poseidon's watery cold taint ’ and stuff. Makes me giggle when he reads those. Especially in his voices.”

“Careful, when I laughed, he turned the tables on me. Now I’m reading to him by the romantic glow of my tablet while he howls with laughter. What did we find the other night? Oh yeah, some Greek deity’s rock-hard anvil . Ridiculous, but entertaining.”

She hooks her hands into my half-unbuttoned shirt and pulls me to her, so I press her against the bookshelves. She has to notice how hard I am as we stand there, staring at one another.

“It’s hot. The way you and Xander are together.” She runs her hands down my chest, licking her lips. “The way you two love each other so damn much. It turns me on watching you.”

“I do. I love him.”

“No shit, Doc. You can’t hide those longing glances and not-so-secret touches when I’m around, big guy. He loves you, too. You couldn’t have come along at a better time.”

As a therapist, I’m supposed to be able to connect with people.

But in my personal life, it’s something I’m no longer equipped for because I’ve avoided it for so long.

I tried, for a long time, but there’s an ever-lingering pain that never fails to morph into my shield, reminding me that by opening up and getting comfortable around someone, I’m inviting the world up to yank them out of my life again.

The inevitable reminder of why I live alone, why my relationships are rare, and why the walls around my heart shouldn’t come down again, always makes an appearance.

Any time I connect with another person, the chill along my back reminds me of what I had, what I lost, and how disappointed they might be if I moved on without them.

How it would dishonor her memory and cheapen the love we shared.

Except, that hasn’t happened yet. Not with Dani, Skylar, or Xander.

Dani’s personality, her strength, and confidence keeps my insecurities at bay, and for the second time in too many years, I’m not counting down the minutes or seconds until this interaction is over.

I don’t want it to end, the same way I didn’t want Xander to leave that morning—any morning.

And Skylar? The way they use that mouth leaves me speechless.

No matter if it’s full of poetry and prose, or my cock.

I had myself so convinced I enjoyed being alone, but I understand now how miserable I was before this. Before them.

“Uhm, that’s good, because, I uhm, I need to ask you something important about our boy.

” I reach up, pulling the ring box from the top shelf.

Hiding it there worked until Skylar spotted it the other day while we were making out in the kitchen and started asking questions.

That fucker is too tall for their own good and reads me like a book.

He chickened out on proposing to Dani—his reasoning made sense, though.

Dani gasps, letting go of my shirt to hold her fingers to her lips.

“It’s, I want to, uhm, give it to Xander. But only if that’s okay. I mean, if you don’t want me to, or think I?—”

“DO IT! AHH! Oh my god, this is so perfect!”

“You…don’t think it’s too fast?”

“Babe, who cares? You’ve lived through what can happen if you wait for the perfect moment or for other people’s approval!

Life is short, and crazy, and stupid. You just gotta do it.

” She flashes a toothy smile before biting at her lip ring, a nervous tick she has.

“Is it, like, a gift or are you going to pop the big question?”

I sigh, putting the box back and running my hand through my beard. “I’m not sure, Dani. But I do want you to understand that I’m not trying to take him away from you.”

“Again, with the obvious statements. I can’t wait for him to see it. I hope you record it!”

“I could do it when you’re there. Take some nervousness out of it.”

“NO!” she squeals. “You can’t! You need to do it all romantic or spontaneous or however you want, but it should just be you two.

God, he’d love that. He tried to propose to me once, and I told him I’m not that kind of girl, but he is.

He’s absolutely that kind of boy. Oh, I’m so excited for you. Our little happy family!”