Page 61 of Never To Suffer (The Hollywoodland #4)

THEREFORE I AM

BILLIE EILISH

Why can’t I get this right? I rip out another piece of paper from my notebook and chuck it behind me somewhere to start over again on the next page.

Our songs are boring, so I need to write some new ones and get everyone in the studio as soon as possible.

If I don’t, we run the risk of losing people’s interest the longer we’re in this competition.

“Ugh!” I groan loud enough to feel like a release, tearing that sheet out to start a fresh one.

Maybe that’s my problem. I need to start on a sheet I’ve already used.

I glance over my shoulder and shake my head.

That’s idiotic. The stack of papers on the shelf has four new songs, a few chorus options to add more lyrics to, and a sketch for the album cover.

But I have more to do. I’ve also made three new outfits.

Well, half-made, those need finishing, too.

Since my sister came back, I’ve been splitting the time between my family here and my family in the hospital.

It’s cost me too much time, and while I’ve appreciated the breaks and my sister being back, it’s been chaotic.

Ren’s going to be fine. Do I need to be at her bedside every friggin’ day?

Where the hell did that thought come from? It’s my sister and Coop! Of course, I have to be there every day. What’s wrong with me?

“Come on, Dani,” I cheer myself on. “Only five more songs and you can take a break. For editing!”

There’s a soft tap on the door before it creaks open. I don’t bother to look up, too busy with my chicken scratch writing. A low whistle starts behind me before the un-crinkling of paper.

“Dani, how long have you been at this?” Skylar asks.

“Uhm, I dunno. Since I came in here to work and not be disturbed a few hours ago.”

“A few hours ago? Love, have you looked out the window?”

I pry my eyes from the paper long enough to see there’s no light coming in the room, but dive back into the writing. “Okay, so open the curtains.”

“They are open. Come on, you can’t be creative like this. Besides,” they say, unfolding another piece of paper from the floor. “You’re throwing away good stuff here. And murdering trees.”

“They’re in the notebook. They’re already dead. And that stuff sucks.”

“Is this one about Xander?”

“What?” I spin around in the chair and they’re standing there with their arms crossed. At their feet, wads of paper resemble a snowball fight in our room. At least a hundred sheets lay all over the room. “Shit.”

“Yeah, now put the pen down.”

“Skylar I just?—”

“Daniella, if you don’t put that pen down right now, I’m going to tie you to the bed so you can’t even touch your notebook. I’ll leave you like that to make you take a break and torture you at the same time.”

“You…wouldn’t?”

They raise an eyebrow, daring me to try them. Instead, I put the pen down with a heavy sigh. “Fine. Five minutes.”

“You’ve been in here for twelve hours, Beetle. You’re done for the night.” They sit on the bed, patting the spot next to them, so I trudge through the room, somehow avoiding any paper cuts on my bare feet. I flop down, letting my back bounce off the mattress.

“Need to talk?”

“No.”

“To anyone?”

“NO!”

They lay back, nuzzling the side of my head. “Not even Noah?”

I turn and look at them, my face scrunched up. Why would I need to talk to Noah? She’s handling all the postings on social media, which I’ve been sending her images for twice a week since Lexi taught me how to use a few programs.

“She has a notebook overflowing with songs. They’re solid. Some could use a bit of finesse from you, but they absolutely fit our style.

“Great. You already know our style, so why don’t you help her clean them up?” I snap.

“If you want. I could.” They don’t take the bait, remaining calm and even. “If it helps you breathe.”

They’re doing that on purpose, ignoring my snarky responses and attitude. I turn my head and look at the desk, the pile of papers, the invisible clock ticking away as I lay here getting no work done.

I gasp at the cold metal of their rings when they take my face and turn it back toward them. They let go of my chin, letting their finger trail down my throat to my shirt, which they slowly unbutton down to my bra.

“Take it off,” they growl. I protest, but they give me that look. “Now. Or I rip it off, and you won’t like the consequences.”

I groan and sit up, reaching behind me and unhooking my bra and pulling off my shirt.

Before I can ask what they want next, their warm breath kisses my spine seconds before they do.

From my tailbone to between my shoulder blades, they move at their own pace.

It’s how they force me to slow down, but I’m too far into this manic state for that to work.

“Take off your shorts, leave the panties. Get on the bed on your hands and knees.”

“Sky, I really—” my words are cut short by their hand around my throat, squeezing. That shouldn’t make me as wet as it does.

“Open your bratty mouth now.” I do, and they spit onto my tongue, pushing my mouth closed with one finger. “Swallow.”

Another thing that shouldn’t turn me on the way it does. Nothing they’ve done crosses a line. I’ve never even use the word to make them stop, only begging them for more, to take it farther.

“Now don’t say another word—don’t even open your damn mouth—until you’re told. Shorts. Off.”

I stand, letting my shorts slip down my legs before I crawl into the bed as they demanded. My panties on full display should anyone walk in the door.

And that’s when Xander gets home, as if Skylar could hear him coming.

The door to the bedroom opens and Sky calls out, knowing Xander came in Theo’s door.

The scuff of his shoes gets closer and there’s muffled talking.

I’m tempted to run over, shut the door, lock it, and go back to work, but I’m more interested in seeing what Skylar has planned for me now, since Xander’s home.

The bedroom door opens wide, and I peek over my shoulder, finding all three of them standing in the doorway, ogling my ass. I didn’t even realize Theo had come home from work, but he’s in his lounge pants, which means he’s been home for hours. Like Skylar said, I need a break.

I give them a little shake and a wink. Xander looks ready to pounce. So does Theo. But Skylar? They have something up their sleeve, even if they’re not wearing a shirt. “Don’t move, pet. Understood?”

I nod, and to my surprise, they go for Xander, pushing him against the wall in a breathless kiss full of passion and silent praise.

Theo and Skylar both race to cup his cock as they bite, lick, and kiss one another.

Skylar and Theo grunt while Xander lets out a series of high pitched swears.

They grope each other and dry hump right there, across the room and out of my reach.

I need to touch them. When they break apart, Skylar holds Xander’s wrists against the wall with one hand, the other wandering all over his body.

Theo drops to his knees, unzipping Xander’s pants and tugging them down, doing the same with Skylar before standing again.

Next, it’s Xander’s turn to get on his knees as Skylar pushes him down.

“Open wide, pretty boy. Eyes on our bratty little girl over there. If she moves, we’re going to tie her up and fuck right on top of her.” They give me a sideways glance and a wink, reminding me they’ll do what they’re threatening without a second thought.

Xander releases Theo’s cock from his pants first, and my jaw drops.

He’s not as long as Skylar, but he’s thick, like a damn horse.

I’m not sure how Xander walks after that thing’s been shoved inside him.

Next, he turns and pulls Skylar out of their boxers, teasing the piercings with his thumb as he looks up at them both, waiting for direction.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Skylar announces, their fingers dancing over Xander’s puppy dog face. “Stand up, beautiful.”

He does, standing beside Theo as they exchange a look laced in confusion until Skylar faces me, dropping to his knees with their eyes locked on mine.

They take Xander’s cock out, licking a thick stripe up the underside of his shaft all the way to the head.

It pulls breathy moans and whimpers from Xander until Theo’s mouth muffles the sounds with long, slow kisses.

I’m stuck in place, my heart racing while I watch Skylar’s tongue flick the tip of Theo’s cock next, and I’m even more helpless when Xander grabs Skyler’s hair, pushing them down onto Theo. “Suck it, don’t stare at it,” Xander quips, earning him a solid smack on the ass from Skylar.

Even from their knees, Skylar’s control shines the brightest. The puppet master, stroking and sucking until the two men are his to control, begging for release as Sky switches from one to the other, before taking both together.

I’m stuck watching while the wet spot on my panties grows every time they look at me.

“Just like that, Xander. Let her see how good I make you feel.” Skylar hums between them. I strain to see more, but they’ve shifted and all I can see are the backs of Theo and Xander.

“God, Skylar. That’s it,” Theo praises. Before putting an arm over Xander’s shoulder and pulling him closer. “That’s it. Look how well the two of us fit. Like you were always meant to be ours.”

“You want this, don’t you, Beetle? Want to watch us cum all over Skylar’s face while you soak your panties?

” Xander asks, his eyes rolling back along with his head.

He struggles to bring his eyes back to me.

“You’re so wet, Dani. Don’t stop, Skylar.

I bet we can make her cum without touching her perfect little cunt. ”