Page 20 of Never To Suffer (The Hollywoodland #4)

THE ROCK SHOW

“Well, I don’t care how you did it in your old band.

We’re paying you to play, not to write. You’re temporary!

” I’m so, so close to calling Xander and bawling my eyes out, because this isn’t what I wanted or what we signed up for.

But it’s my fault we’re in this spot. Last night we only avoided elimination by two votes, and if Todd screws up tonight, I may have to buy a shovel.

“Connor, can you please come here and talk to Flea’s younger, far less talented idiot brother before I lose my damn mind?”

“Dani?”

I throw my head back and yell into the night, frying my vocal cords, but not caring. I can’t take one more thing going wrong tonight. I cross my arms, ready for another round of verbal sparring with whoever wants to mess with me next, and turn toward the voice calling my name.

The sight knocks the breath out of my lungs.

It’s a trick, my mind playing games because of the stress.

Interesting that it projects a sexy fallen angel with a motorcycle.

Tall with long, dark hair that spills out over broad shoulders.

Pants so tight you don’t need an imagination, and a jawline I need to feel between my legs.

The entire package screams out to be ridden all night long and into the morning, and who am I to say no?

There’s one flaw in this eye candy, and it’s confirmed when they take a step a step forward, letting the glow of the streetlamp hit those rich brown eyes with their hazel centers. God, this world can get so strange sometimes.

“Skylar? Is that really you?” I scream and break into a full run. I jump into their strong, muscled arms without hesitation, and they give me that bit of an extra squeeze before they put me down and stare at me like I’m a figment of their imagination. “Look at you, baby! You look incredible!”

“No, I look like a trailer park after a tornado rips through it.” They smile and it warms more than just my heart. It’s been too long since I heard that voice and drowned in those eyes. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

I’ve known Skylar for what feels like forever, but has only been about five years.

They used to date one of my best friends, Steve—they even got engaged.

They were wonderful together, always laughing and supportive.

Until a truck ran Skylar’s motorcycle off the road, almost killing them.

When they woke up, they didn’t remember the accident, the engagement, or anything else from the last two years.

In the months that followed, Skylar’s slow recovery took its toll on both Skylar and Steve.

It only got worse when the doctors told them the fragments of memory they had recovered—about eight months before the accident—might be all they ever got back.

Xander and I tried our best to help, but it ended their relationship and a few months later, Skylar left us, too.

“What the hell are you doing here, fucker?!” I slap their arm hard enough to sting but not do any damage. “Also, where have you been? Also, also, why the shit did you ghost me, asshole?! Did you get my text?! Wait, no, backup. What are you doing here?!”

“I didn’t ghost you, beautiful. I ghosted life.

I needed some distance between me and everything that even reminded me of Los Angeles.

I needed my life back.” Their hands hold the sides of my face, and they stare at me like I’m the last cup of water in the desert.

My heart flutters when soft lips press against my forehead, followed by a warm sigh of relief.

“I can’t believe you’re here and you’re real.

Right when I’m trying to get my stupid head straight. Like you were sent to me.”

I narrow my eyes at them. “Get your head…straight? Like, what does that mean? Were you on some kind of expedition into the depths of conversion-ville and you now go by your dead-name again or?”

They bark out a laugh, “God, no. Still Skylar, still exploring all possibilities, Beetle. You still with your honeybee, or do I finally have a shot at that guy?” They tease.

I nod as they blow a cloud of smoke over their shoulder, away from me.

Skylar’s the only one of my friends who adopted Xander’s nickname for me.

At first, they did it to annoy Xander, but it stuck. “Good. Wait, are you playing tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s like a tour. You should see where we’ve been staying the last few nights.

Oh my god, it’s been awful. Tonight isn’t much better either.

The first night we stayed outside of Portland, and Xander made me watch that Green Room movie with the Star Trek guy before I left LA, which is creepy and horrible.

I freaked out for like two nights because of it, but we still ended up staying in every version of the Bates Motel that exists.

Connor thinks we’re gonna die in one of these dumps.

” I grab their arms, my eyes wide. “Please tell me the bar isn’t stupid crazy with shit like chicken wire or caged dogs? ”

“I missed how much you ramble. No chicken wire yet, and no signs of Captain Picard walking the halls.”

“Ha. Ha. Okay, your turn!”

They pinch the end of the cigarette, letting the small chunk of burning tobacco fall to the ground and die in the puddle under their boot. “Passing through. My brother and his family live around here and wanted to take me out before I head south.”

“South?”

They brush the side of my face, setting off a pyrotechnic show in my body as they stare at me for what feels like forever.

I can’t pry my eyes away from theirs except to stare at their lips.

Skylar has these kissable, soft, pouty lips, even with the jagged scar that runs through them and the piercings.

When they drag their tongue over them, I hold myself back.

I kissed them on a dare once, and it solidified itself as a core memory for me.

Even thinking about it now has me all warm in places I shouldn’t be.

If they hadn’t still been with Steve when it happened, we would have done so much more than make out like teenagers in that closet.

Xander would have joined in, too. He has the same tastes in men as Steve, or they go after the same men to annoy each other.

“I should have called you,” they whisper. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up. Either of you.”

“So, are you coming back to LA? Like for real and for good?”

“I’m gonna try. I planned to give it a week or two while I worked up the nerve to call you. Guess fate had other plans.”

“The nerve to call me ?” I squeak.

“I told you how I felt and ran away. I assumed you hated me, even though no matter how far I ran, my feelings for you never changed. Even without you physically with me, you even gave me hope and restored my love of music. Your songs are the ones I play over and over, with or without the bass in my hands.”

“M-My songs?” I shake the fog out of my head. “Wait, our music? Seriously?”

“It’s how I kept you close. You and Xander, every single day.” They wink. “I even had a gig a few weeks ago.” They sigh and shake their head. “Unfortunately, the singer and drummer broke up, so it fell through. They weren’t my style, anyhow.”

“Too pop for your rock and roll?”

“Too hetero-normative for my rainbows, glitter, and pronouns.”

“Ohhh, no bueno. Screw those guys and let that freak flag fly, baby.”

“It flies so much higher with you around.”

We’re a breath apart, no signs of moving away from one another.

The smell of their exotic tobacco, motorcycle grease, and leather mix with my whiskey and wildflowers in the sliver of space between us.

The intoxicating mixture has my mind wondering if this bar has a broom closet where we can hide or if I should pull them into the van.

The swarm of butterflies moves from my belly to my heart and into my throat.

Now, they’re threatening to jump out of my mouth and climb all over this beautiful person like I want to.

“How’s everyone back…home?” Their face scrunches at the word.

“So much has changed since you left. Like Xan and I are the only things that are the same. Coop’s brother moved in with him and went pro.

Jamie got married, and oh my god, you’d absolutely love Alexis, she’s perfect for him and they’re stupidly in love.

Laurie got married twice—to the same guy.

Once on a cruise ship for shits and giggles and once back home for everyone else. And Steve—oh shit!”

I slam my hands over my mouth so hard it stings.

“Got married? I heard. So, he’s happy?”

“He is. Ethan’s the sweetest guy. Steve went on his soul-searching doom spiral and learned his soul was, in fact, not in some stranger’s pants. Ethan helped him find his old spark, but we all still miss you.”

“I miss you, too. But I’m glad Steve moved on.

I still worry about the dumbass.” Their smile reaches their eyes, which makes me smile back.

So much has changed, but so much hasn’t.

Like me, they’ve earned a few more scars, added a few new lines to their face, and the look in their eye tells me things haven’t been easy since they left.

I’m not surprised since the last time I saw them their hand was so bad they had trouble holding the guitar let alone playing it.

The depression kept them from writing music or poetry.

They lost hope when giant chunks of their life were stripped away forever.

Skylar has cried on my shoulders as many times as I’ve cried on theirs, but after the accident, the tears became sobs, gut wrenching and painful to hear. And the nightmares?

A shiver runs up my spine remembering those long nights and the way they’d scream out.

I get on my tiptoes and brush the hair out of their face, but the breeze keeps blowing it back.

Before I can move my hand away, they’ve reached up and taken it, holding it there against the stubble and warm skin.

The longer they stare at me, the closer we get to crossing a line that’s ready to be run over, trampled, and lit on fire.

What if the reason Xander nailed it the other night?

We’re searching for our third when they’ve been part of our lives already.

“Skylar, I?—”

“Dani!” Connor’s screech cuts me off from across the parking lot. It might be a blessing in disguise, but it still annoys me. “Are you coming or what?”

If you hadn’t interrupted!

“Hey, break a leg up there, yeah? I’ll make sure everyone in this bar has your back, Beetle.”

“DANI! Come on, woman!”

“Shit, I gotta go. Stay here!” I say in a panic, making them laugh at the request. “I mean, stick around the bar, not stay in the parking lot! We can go out after and grab a stupidly early breakfast or something.”

“Sure.”

I narrow my eyes, but before I can say I don’t believe them, they slide their jacket off and slip it over my shoulders.

I pull it closed and breathe them in. We’re playing with fire, making promises we shouldn’t make to one another, but we’re doing it, anyway.

I pull them down to me and kiss their cheek before I take off running across the parking lot, holding the jacket close.

I don’t care that it’s huge on me, I’m not taking this thing off until Skylar strips it off me.

After the show, I push my way to the back and shove open the door to the parking lot. Relief floods through me when I find them leaning against a light pole next to a familiar motorcycle.

“You stayed?” I move toward them, trying my best to come across as sexy, but I’m pretty sure I only manage stage drunk. “What did you think?”

“You’ve got my jacket.” They wink and I hope they can’t see the heat rising in my cheeks. “Same thing I’ve always thought. Stunning, electrifying, transcendent, but mostly, mind numbingly gorgeous.”

“Okay, enough about Connor,” I joke. My entire body screams for me to jump into their arms again and beg them to never let go.

Instead, I shove my hands in the pockets of the jacket, running my fingers over a set of keys I didn’t realize I had.

Either they still trust me and wanted to prove they wouldn’t leave tonight, or they forgot their keys were in the pocket and they can’t leave but don’t want to make this awkward.

“Does Connor play drums or bass?” they ask, shoving their hands in their pockets.

“Drums.”

“Ah, yeah, he’s cute,” Skylar says with a sky smile. “And he can play. I can’t say as much about your bassist. Especially when his nose ring fell out.” They take a step closer. “But he’s got a solid band around him and a siren like you singing the sailors to their deaths in the pit.”

“He’s temporary. I, uhm, caught the last bassist screwing my girlfriend in the bathroom.

” I close the remaining gap between us, the toes of my sneakers bumping against the toes of their boots.

My platforms shoes don’t make a dent in the foot worth of difference in our heights.

“If she’d been a better bassist, like someone I used to know, I’d have kept her in the band. Instead, I’m stuck with Todd.”

“Terrible name for a bassist.”

Somewhere behind me, I can hear the band packing up the van and getting ready to head out. “They’re almost done packing up. I should let you get back to the band.”

I take their hands in mine, my heart racing. I don’t want them to leave again. “Come with us. We’re grabbing dinner at one of those late-night grease traps.”

They stare down at me, their face unreadable except for the tiniest twitch in the corner of their eyes. I’m sure they’re about to say no, about to tell me this was fun, but we’re never going to get that second chance, so why bother stringing this out?

“How about I give you a ride to the diner? We’ll talk about what happens next after greasy food and shitty coffee.”

“YES!” I can’t hide my excitement as I jump up and scream. “I mean, mm, my favorite.”