Page 75 of Never To Suffer (The Hollywoodland #4)
“Ahh. Yeah, I can see that. When Skylar wakes up, do you wanna walk down and get some pie with me? Jamie told me there’s a pie place not far from here. He used to take Lexi there.”
“Uh, yeah? Duh,” He pauses, looking up from the game he’s playing on his phone. “Wait, you said Sky, not Xander. Is Sky still sleeping? It’s past noon.”
“Yeah, they had a rough night. Between Xander, the re-opened case, and the stress of the tour, it’s bringing back memories they weren’t prepared for or something.
The nightmares had dropped down to like once a week, but they’re having them nightly again after Xander’s attack.
” I peek in the door, checking on Xander.
“There’s also someone screwing with Sky on the tour, trying to spread rumors they’re using again to get under their skin.
The company keeps threatening to drug test them, not listening to us when we say they’re not on anything. ”
“Shit. They’ve changed so much. They used to be early risers by Los Angeles standards. Up before eight most mornings.”
“Now when they’re up at eight, it’s because they’ve been up all damn night. Like this morning.” I glance over to the door to our bedroom, but still no light coming from inside the room. “I’m gonna go check on him. Will you keep an ear open for Xan, in case he needs something?”
“Absolutely, babe. I’ve got you.”
Easing into the room while trying not to let too much light in, I’m able to make out the lump in the bed.
I crawl in next to it, only to realize there’s nothing but blankets and pillows.
They haven’t left the apartment, so they must be around here somewhere.
I peek in the bathroom and find them asleep in the empty bathtub.
“Skylar?” They respond with something between a grunt and a whimper. “Hey, what are you doing in here, baby?”
They roll onto their side, facing away from me, but their breathing changes, signaling to me that they’re awake now.
“I’m sorry I woke you, but seriously, why are you in the bathtub?” I reach in, pushing their hair back. They try to brush me off, but the heat coming off their body is so intense, I don’t need to touch them to feel it. “Sky, you’re burning up.”
“S’why I’m in here,” they finally answer, a slight tremor running through their body. “I’ll be okay. Need some time.”
“Time to what? Spontaneously combust? Come on, get out of there and tell me what I can do. Are you sick? Is it a recovery thing? Steve’s taking care of Xander, so let me take care of you.”
“It’s the exhaustion and the stress.” They say when I convince them to leave the tub, they hold me to them even though they’re a space heater and their heart pumps to the rhythm of Wipe Out.
They flinch and groan with every step. “Sometimes, it’s like going through it all over again—the accident.
Everything hurts and nothing I do stops it. ”
“How can I help?”
“If I get through the craving without doing anything stupid, it’s a win. It doesn’t last as long anymore, only a few hours usually. After that fades, I’m left dealing with the pain.”
I wonder what will happen when all four of us board the struggle bus together.
I say a silent thank you to the goddesses for not giving us that hill to climb yet, and tell them they can keep holding onto that for a while.
Sky held on long enough for me, and now I’ve snapped mostly out of my funk in time for them to fall into one.
As we walk into the bedroom and Skylar grabs the pack of cigarettes and lighter, I spot the letter sitting on the nightstand.
“You don’t need to do this to yourself. I mean, she’s in jail, there are pending federal charges that might still happen, and she’s not your responsibility. Not if it’s going to do this to you.”
“It is my responsibility. I’ll be worse if she ever gets out. I won’t be able to handle that, even with all three of you and the guys by my side.”
“Okay, let’s figure this out. Pick one thing, the number one worst thing you can’t get out of your mind about the trial.”
“Seeing her,” they say a little too fast. I cock my head to the side and give them a glare that tells them to try harder.
This time, their answer comes slower and there’s pain in every word.
“Living through it again. They’re going to ask me what I remember and force me to relive the entire ordeal.
I avoided that last time, because they didn’t go after her for my case. Not enough evidence.”
I help them pull on some pants, kissing their legs and hips as I do, bringing a sweet hum that’s almost a purr.
We nod to Steve as we head out to Skylar’s perch on the fire escape.
I help them out the window, their balance wobbly and pain noticeable.
After they light up, I lean against them, listening to his heart slow again.
“Would it help if you tell me about it? About her?” I reach under their shirt, letting my fingers play in their sparse chest hair.
They like to shave it for the shows, but haven’t been in the mood lately.
I find it cute, especially when Sky and Theo both walk around shirtless. Those two are yin and yang.
They take a long pull and blow a few smoke rings. “I don’t know, Dani. I mean, I’m not sure I can. Or that I want to.”
“Have you ever told anyone? Because it helped with the nightmares, remember? When you finally started to tell me about them, about what you were going through.”
Their finger hooks under my chin, tipping my head up. Their lips hover over mine and their eyes close as they breathe me in. “I’ll try. For you, I’ll try. For you, I’ll bare my soul and my secrets to the world.”
“Good. We’ll start as soon as I get back with some pie.
Jamie says it always works for times like these and frankly, I’m not here to doubt the power of buttery crust and sweetness, but Theo’s at work.
” I lick the tip of their nose and watch their mouth curl into a smile.
“When I get back, we’ll get through this.
We’ll have you so ready for this trial people will think I went to law school. ”
“You watch far too much true crime, Beetle.”
“Or do you watch too little?”