Page 54 of Never To Suffer (The Hollywoodland #4)

Theo steps forward and puts a hand on Xander’s shoulder.

“You have a long road in front of you, Xander. Even without me there with you, you won’t walk it alone.

Look around the room. You’ve got your support system.

You’re the Tin Man, on his way to Oz so someone can fix your broken heart.

Dorothy and the brave Lion by your side every step of the way. You’ll make it, baby. I know you will.”

“Isn’t that a little too on the nose?” Skylar asks. Theo looks up at them, and Skylar’s arms wrap around Xander protectively. “Because if that’s the narrative you’re going for, it sure as hell explains things. Like why you’d leave him.”

Xander starts to argue, but it’s too late because I’m jumping on this bandwagon. “You’re right, Skylar. By the Doc’s own logic, that makes him the Scarecrow, dancing around like a moron with no brain and running away from the three people sent here to help. Three people who live right next door.”

“I’m not the one who?—”

“Oh, if Doctor Dark-and-Broody wants to tell me he doesn’t need help, I’m gonna lose my shit laughing.

” I walk over, stepping into the space between Xander and Theo, glaring up at him while I poke my finger into his chest. “You cried for him, Theo. You said it yourself at the bar after we danced. You told me you wanted me that night, but you weren’t ready to give up on the guy you’d only just met. Xander, right? It had to be.”

“Yes, but?—”

“Why are you running?” I question him in a harsh tone.

“I’m not the scarecrow and I’m not running! I’m—” he sputters.

“Oh, you’re the man behind the curtain. The architect of the house of lies? Maybe your daughter had it right when she bailed on you so you could have your little pity party and wear your emerald glasses to see the LA skyline?”

“What?” Xander’s voice comes out as barely a whisper, and I bite my lip. He didn’t know about Theo’s daughter.

Sky lets go of Xander with one hand, holding it out to Theo.

“I’m Skylar, and I’m idiotically in love with these two people.

I’m the only one you haven’t made out with, so I’m a bit of the odd one out.

Maybe that’s your problem right now. Me.

” They wink at him and kiss Xander on the head before pulling on their jacket.

“But I’m also out of cigarettes. So, I’m going to take a walk and give you an opportunity to un-fuck this a bit.

I’d appreciate it if you’d stay here and help our Beetle take care of our Bee.

Figure things out if you can, because something tells me your analogy isn’t far off.

If that’s the case, we’ve all got a long, winding road ahead of us, and we’re going to need all four of us to get through. ”

“Are we getting a dog?” I ask nibbling on another croissant to keep me from any more outbursts.

“He has a cat,” Xander mumbles.

Theo chuckles, shaking Skylar’s hand. “I’ll do my best to be here when you get back.”

Theo and I both reach out and take one of Xander’s hands, leading him back to the couch.

His face paler than usual, and he’s spiraling.

I’ve seen it before. It reminds me of Coop, and how he taught me what to do when Xander goes so deep into his own mind it’s like he’s not even here in the room with me.

But before I can start the routine, Theo beats me to it.

“Xander, I need you to listen to my voice,” he says, squatting in front of Xander and putting his hands on his knees. “Focus on that for right now, nothing else, alright? We’re going to work through this together. Okay?”

Xander nods absently and I squeeze his hand before I brush his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t?—”

“Stop, you’re not the one to blame. Let’s start with the basics. Can you tell me five things you can see right now?”

His eyes stay down, unmoving for the longest time, and the seed of panic growing in me.

He’s gotten like this before a few times, after his ‘dates’ come close to putting him in the hospital.

He’s gone days where he refuses to leave the bed and stares at the wall until I force him to eat something and drink water.

I watch the slightest movement in his eyes.

“That’s it, honeybee. Take your time.”

His lip trembles again as he fights a pout, but manages to croak out, “Skylar’s bass guitar. Dani’s records. Dani’s pink bunny slippers. The stupid stuffed monkey. Your watch.”

He insists he doesn’t need to go through the rest, but Theo makes him anyhow, telling him it’s best if he breaks out of the cycle completely instead of shortcuts.

He squeezes my hand to let me know he’s okay when they’re done, and I brace myself for the tears.

Breakups never get easier, and Xander has a bad case of falling for people harder than he cares to admit.

I wish I could give him everything he needs, and I hope that maybe with Skylar it will be a step easier to heal.

The problem is, I suspect Theo plays a part in Xander’s healing, too.

“Okay,” I break through the brief silence. “So, like, why can’t you and Xander stay together?”

“Dani, that’s… you know that won’t work. We’re a package deal. We always have been.”

“Yeah, and he likes me, too. Like, seriously, he wanted to bend me over a bathroom sink and have a?—”

“Hey! Come on. Can we not?” Theo holds his arms out, but Xander and I stare at him. “Wait, this is…normal?”

“Duh. We tell each other pretty much everything. Hell, he’s got videos and picture of Sky and I together.”

“Well,” Xander flinches. “Sort of. I’ve, uhm, I’ve not been totally honest with either of you about…

something. I’ve, uhm, I’m a… I kind of…shit,” he groans, putting his head in his hands and mumbling.

“I’m basically a sex worker. No, I AM a sex worker.

At first, I only did on that one subscription website, and a guy offered me extra for a meetup.

I’m not meeting dates through work or clubs, Dani. They’re… I’m… I sell my body.”

I raise an eyebrow and give him an incredulous smirk.

I expect the same from Theo, but when I find the glint of tears as his lips fall open.

His eyes drop to the floor, and he shakes his head.

Because today, we’re all learning things we might not want to know about.

So much for waking up to amazing sex, but this isn’t as bad as Xander’s continuous, fitful nightmares.

“Xander, are they the men who hurt you?” Theo asks.

Xander nods, and Theo responds by reaching out and pulling him into a hug.

“I did it for a while before I met Dani. A few guys I knew. I got on a website, no meeting. We needed money to fix Dani’s car, and I convinced myself it would only happen once.

We’d meet up, have sex, and nothing else.

He offered me five hundred dollars. But I didn’t stop there.

The money came too easy, and we had bills to pay.

I stopped in Tokyo. I stopped seeing them for you, Theo.

I thought I could do this,” Xander cries into his shoulder while I wrap around them both.

“You said you’d be there for me. You said no one would hurt me again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Theo.”

“And I will, Baby. I promise I will. You’re okay.”

“No, I’m not! Normal people don’t do this!” Xander yells, but when he tries to pull away, Theo holds him tighter.

“Xander, that’s not true,” Theo presses his lips against Xander’s head, and my heart breaks and melts at once while they rock together. “You’re not the problem. Society is. I’m so sorry the world did this to you. I’m the one who’s sorry, baby.”

“So,” I cut into their moment because I can’t hold back. “That means you’re going to give this a shot, right? See if we can all hack it together?”

They both look up and stare at each other, but eventually, Theo nods, and I kiss each one of them on the cheek.

“Good, cause you two are cute as hell together. I don’t know if I want to throw up or let my heart explode over all this mushy shit.”