Page 40 of Never To Suffer (The Hollywoodland #4)

“Every time a new one comes out.” He pats my back. “I get your music first, because you always send it to me first, and I send it immediately to Skylar in the hopes it will push them back to playing, to recovering. What happened between Sky and I…”

“It wasn’t your fault, Stevie,” I whisper, trying to maintain eye contact even when he looks away again.

“Yeah, I get it. I mean, I get it now, but back then I convinced myself I imploded our relationship. Now, well, because of you and your weird voodoo shit, I kind of believe the accident, the breakup, all of it served a purpose.” He glances across the table and smiles as Ethan’s face turns red and he looks away.

“It brought me Ethan. It forced me to learn who I am and accept myself, flaws and all. When I reminisce about Skylar and me, I can’t guarantee we’d still be together now. ”

He reaches over and smacks the brim of Ethan’s hat, and when he looks back at Steve with those wet, emerald eyes before the tear falls, I almost join him in crying.

“I fight for you every day, Ethan, and I always will. That’s the difference, because I never fought for Sky, not like I could have.

I let him walk away because, deep down, I knew after the accident, our relationship had an expiration date.

A day where we’d have nothing left to give each other.

With you, I’ll never run out of steam, or love, and I’ll sure as fuck never let you go. ”

“Gross,” I tease, pushing Steve’s shoulder before he leans across the table, cups Ethan’s face, and plants a big old pornographically hot kiss on him, knocking his hat to the floor.

It’s cute to watch, especially since Ethan still hasn’t adjusted to life out of the closet yet.

He’s getting there, but he still looks around to see who’s watching when they separate.

“Love you too, Stevie,” Ethan smirks, picking his hat up off the ground.

“And what do you mean, gross? You admitted to sleeping with my ex. Dirty whore!” Steve pushes me back with a laugh and no real force behind it.

Steve owns a gym and has arms bigger than the trunks of the dying palm trees in Mama’s front yard.

Massive. “So, if you’re telling me this because you’re worried how I’ll react if I had found out on my own, which I appreciate not doing, what else? Don’t hold back.”

“They’re here, in Los Angeles. We crashed at Coop’s house last night since I don’t have furniture, and Sky needed a meeting.”

“Okay, that’s hilarious. Your triad piece used to be my piece. A meeting?”

“N.A. They’re…struggling with coming back.

Seeing you.” Steve’s face drops into serious mode as he goes quiet and listens.

“Also, Xander found someone while we were playing in Portland. Maybe Megan ended up opening our eyes to see what we wanted in the world, or the universe finally felt awful for how shitty it treated us. New apartment, new people, newfound fame. So much has changed in what comes down to a few days.”

I’m not afraid of the speed of the world, I’m used to that.

My father died unexpectedly when I was young, and within six months, my sister got married to her douchebag abusive boyfriend, my mother’s apartment got condemned by the city, and I got my first bedroom when we moved in with my sister.

Life enjoys throwing things at me to see how I react, and I like to believe I’ve got mad reflexive skills to move with it.

Maybe that’s why I couldn’t hold down a job before I dropped out of art school and fashion school.

Maybe I pretend I don’t like change, but secretly I thrive on it, on the chaos and the uncertainty.

I guess Xander and I constantly breaking up with each other could also circle back to the way I handle life.

“Speaking of your apartment, we have some stuff in the SUV,” Ethan disrupts my train of thought, sending it down a ravine in a fiery ball of doom, the ideas onboard never to surface again. “Nothing crazy, some furniture we, uhm, need to clear out.”

“You’re clearing out furniture? Sick! I love your—why are you clearing out furniture?

” I glare at Ethan, knowing he’ll break first. “Out with it. Or I’ll start making assumptions.

They’ll be wild, too. Things like you’re pregnant and that’s not even possi—OH MY GOD!

HOW DID YOU GET ETHAN PREGNANT?! Or Steve?

Who’s the daddy? Mommy? Fuck, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore! ”

Ethan’s deer in the headlights look as Steve doubles over and almost falls to the floor.

“Don’t, uh, don’t tell Coop yet,” Ethan mumbles. “We’ve still got too much to figure out before we’re really doing this, and we want things to settle down in his world, and your sister’s, before we go for this. But yeah, we’re…well, we’re thinking of adopting.”

I throw my arms around Steve and squish him as hard as my scrawny arms can. “Oh my god, this day keeps getting crazier! Furniture, babies, exes, sex, and rock-n-roll!” I squeal and slam a hand over my mouth. “I really need to cut down on the caffeine today.”

“Yeah, come on. Let’s go spruce up our place so my ex can rail my other ex while my husband and I go pick out babies from a book.

What the hell world do I live in now?” Steve teases before he brings me in for a tight hug.

“Don’t worry, kiddo. We’re good. But you three are going to need a bigger bed. ”

“Especially if it’s us four. Life is so wild right now.”