Page 35 of Never To Suffer (The Hollywoodland #4)

OWN MY MIND

M?NESKIN

“No shit! You two left the bed? I thought for sure we wouldn’t see either of you until the show tonight.

” Connor teases as he slips into the booth next to Skylar and Noah slides in next to me.

“I’m gonna write a review for my noise canceling headphones.

Work like a charm when your only barrier between you and your bandmate’s three in the morning mating ritual is a paper-thin wall and a shitty motel pillow some old guy probably died on. Five Stahhhs. ”

“Don’t, I need coffee first!” I hold my head in my hands.

“Feeling better?” Connor asks Skylar, who might be glaring at him, but it’s hard to tell with the sunglasses on.

They’re also wearing a hoodie under the leather jacket and have the hood pulled down low.

At least they let me shave the beard down to stubble this morning, so they’re not walking around intimidating everyone.

They slouch lower into the seat, hands tucked deep into their pockets, but still, they give a half-hearted nod.

Connor puts an arm around them before kissing their cheek.

“Hang in there, my friend. We’ve got you and you’re not alone.

In fact, I’ll never leave you alone after last night.

And I didn’t even get to sleep with you, but I listened. ”

It’s enough to make Skylar scoff out a laugh, which I appreciate. I love my band, now that the toxic bullshit left. “So, I’m going to assume we made it to the next round after that ass kicking performance last night?”

Noah nods, flipping through her phone. “We were in second place when I fell asleep, let me check the—” There's a quick shift in her body language as I ask, and I panic. Her jaw drops open slightly, face turns paler than she already is, and her eyes slowly shift from the phone to me.

Connor noses in and his eyebrows shoot up. He might even be blushing. It’s hard to tell. “That’s…Holy shit! That's a video of us from last night. Skylar, you absolute specimen! Look at you! God damn!”

“What, let me see!” I come close to launching myself over the table.

“Look at the numbers, Con. It’s going viral,” Noah adds, tone still flat and unreadable.

Connor grabs the phone and leans in closer to Skylar.

They watch a looping video compilation showing clips from last night.

Skylar and Connor kissing and making out, me groping Skylar, and a nice little oral sex gesture from Noah.

I remember some of it, but not all of it, and I wonder if Xander has seen this yet.

If he had, he would have texted me by now.

I watch the slow pull on the corner of Skylar’s mouth that becomes the precursor to the building laughter between them and Connor.

They even take off the sunglasses to get a better look, of course I’m more focused on the red-rimmed eyes with their deep purple bruising underneath.

It’s not bad enough that the average person would notice, but I do, because I stayed up all night with them and sat up this morning trying to conceal their sleepless night with makeup.

Sex took up a small portion of a night that also involved phone calls to his sponsor, too many tears, lots of holding, and a voicemail I left Chase that he’s yet to respond to.

“We need more of this,” Connor announces, winking at Skylar.

Noah groans, “I hate to say it but, he’s right. I mean, look at our ranking last night. We came in first place.”

“Don’t worry, babe, you don’t have to do any of it.

” I assure her. “You’re cool as fuck looking in your own way, and that will get you plenty of attention, too.

You’re our token introvert; the three of us are crazy enough to do wild shit like this.

It’s worked for other bands.” I explain, dumping more sugar in my coffee than should be legal.

“But shouldn’t we be known for our music?”

“Connor and Sky making out on stage while we keep playing will get us more views faster than anything else we could do. The more views, the more coverage. The internet will build an entire world of rumors and guesses around them and people will eat that shit with a silver spoon. More views equal more listens and sales. Are they dating, who’s cheating on who?

Are they all sleeping together? So long as you’re both okay with it.

We’re not forcing anyone to do anything. Understood?”

We watch the video climb over half a million views while we sit there. It’s electrifying and I can’t pull my eyes away, even as Skylar feeds me pancakes while they eat the bacon.

“Okay, so I’m super cool with this. How about you, Sky?” They take a moment, put their sunglasses back on, and nod. Connor flashes a lopsided grin and does a little shimmy in his seat. “Hell yeah. Best day of my life!”

My phone vibrates in my pocket and when I read the caller ID, I climb out of the booth. “Can someone send that to Xander for me? Sky, I’ll be right back, okay?” He nods and gives me a sleepy smile.

“Holy shit, we’re gonna hit two million!” Connor cheers from behind me.

“Hey, hold on two seconds, let me go outside!” I told Skylar I would take care of setting this up, because they need a break from everything.

We all do, and you can’t believe the lies that addiction goes away or can be tackled without support.

That sets people up for failure. It’s a lifelong struggle and unfair to handle alone.

I’m glad they’re finally letting me help.

“Dani? What happened?” Coop starts before I’m at the door. He’s yelling, of course, and it sounds like he’s on a film set somewhere. “Everyone okay? I got part of your message, but your phone cut out. Did you say Skylar? That can’t be, right? Like, our SKYLAR?!”

“I did. Hang on!” I push open the door and wince at the blinding morning sun. Evil. Ducking around a corner, I plug one ear with my finger to hear him better over the traffic. “Hey, wait, let’s start with the important stuff. Have you heard from Ren and how are you holding up?”

“No and meh,” he grunts. As much as I love Steve and Jamie to death, Chase became my soul mate bestie the second we met.

We tease each other relentlessly and have zero boundaries between us, and we’d both die for each other—but we’ve never been attracted to one another.

I call it platonic soul mates. “Still no word from your sister, but I got another sunflower token thing. Guessing nothing on your end, either?”

“Nada. Don’t worry, babe. She’s a fighter and she’ll mess anyone up who messes with you. Also, she loves you, bro. Like, you two are gonna make babies together and stuff! The cards told me!”

“Yeah, well, did the cards tell you I lost a movie the other day because I’m barely treading water?”

“Chase Cooper… big time movie star with the butt so cute even my mama loves it! Get your stupid head screwed on and get those damn movies.” There’s noise behind me, and Skylar’s familiar hand tattoos come into view as they hug me and rest their head on mine.

“Look, don’t you realize she’s one hundred percent finding ways to watch anything and everything you put out, work on, appear in, whatever?

Awards ceremonies, TV shows, magazine articles, and everything in between.

She’s devouring that shit since she can’t have the real you!

I guarantee it’s keeping her going, so you can’t give up on her, or yourself, now. I won’t have it.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s a fair point. I miss her so damn much, Dani. I’m gonna marry her. Like the second I find her again, as soon as I’ve got her back, I’m marrying her right there. You know I will.”

“I do know that, sweetie. I do. Okay, onto other shit.” I take a deep breath to prepare myself.

“Yes, Skylar found me, and yes, they’re playing in the band now.

Also, yes, we’re sleeping together and stuff.

Also, also, they can hear you right now, so no, I will not tell you about their dick jewelry at this moment. ”

“Wait, what?!”

“To which part. Seriously though, trust me, neither of us planned this. But we obviously need to talk to Stevie, and before we do that, we need your help. More accurately, Skylar needs your help. We need a place that gets them.”

I love being back in my own car, with my own smells and toys that decorate it.

I have a rotation of air fresheners, and the current selection of birthday cake fills the air.

Skylar hasn’t uttered a single word since Connor dropped us off at my car, but I don’t blame them.

I’d be shitting bricks right now if I had to head back to the scene of memories I couldn’t access.

Chase assured us Steve wouldn’t be at Casa Cooper when we get there, and he’s keeping tabs on him to keep it that way.

We don’t need him walking in before we’ve figured out how to handle all of this.

Steve’s a freak out about things and figure it out later with too many apologies’ kind of guy.

I don’t see this as keeping secrets as much as planning out how to reveal a secret no one wants to keep.

My standard go-to option of blurting it out and dealing with the chaos won’t work for Steve and Skylar.

When I turn onto the road that loops into the Hollywood Hills, Skylar finds my hand.

They don’t grab it, wrap around it, or squeeze it, they just find it, letting their fingers dance along my skin, waiting to see if I’ll accept their silent cry for help.

I do. I’ll do whatever they need because they need to feel safe here in Los Angeles, and they need to be in Los Angeles if they’re going to be with Xander and I.

There’s too much riding on one conversation we’re all scared to have.

We pull up to Chase’s gate and I punch in the code for access. As I park, I remind Skylar about the dogs, since Chase didn’t have Pongo or Lulu before the breakup. They nod, and I squeeze their hand before I let go and climb out of the car.