Page 92 of Never Tell Secrets

“No, stay and fight with me.”

His fists clenched, his chest heaving. I could feel myself pushing us off a cliff, yet I couldn’t stop it. “That won’t end well and you know it.”

“Please, just?—”

“What?” He cut me off, yanking his arm away so hard I flinched. “What do you want? You want me to fuck the apology out of you?” He stepped towards me, making me back up into myown apartment. He followed, forcing me into the tiny kitchen. “You want me to do this just like old times?”

His hand slipped around my throat, pushing me up against the kitchen counter. My hand slipped on the worktop, sending a glass crashing to the floor. The sound of shattering glass echoed in my dead-of-night apartment, but it didn’t distract us for a moment. He held my gaze as he pressed into me, bending me backwards over the counter top.

“Stop pushing me, Lola.”

I stared up at him, my entire body alight, alive. I tilted my chin, his mouth was so close to mine. I wanted it. His breathing came hard as he practically trembled with need for me.

What was I doing?

This was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself and I didn’t understand why. My hands fisted in his jacket as old barbed wire cords wound themselves around us. We’d done this dance so many times before and yet somehow, it felt like the first time.

His grip tightened on my throat and just when I thought he was about to take me and fuck me mindless the way he used to, his fist collided with the cabinet by my head, the sound ringing out.

He shoved himself away from me, running his hands through his hair as I gulped in air, trying to regain my equilibrium. Carefully, I stepped over the broken glass. He stood by the door, his chest heaving.

“I’m trying so hard to be good, why are you making it so difficult?” I stared at him, unable to answer his question. He took a deep breath, sighing. “Sometimes, I wonder if maybe you’re the one who isn’t good for me.” His words weighed heavy in the air, like rocks dropped in the river. He didn’t mean that. He couldn’t. “You could bend me into any shape you want and as you know too well, that’s a very dangerous power to have overanother person. I won’t go back to that toxic bullshit, Lola. I refuse.”

We stared at each other in the dark. His jaw tense, his gaze resigned, he turned to leave. I stood there, numb, unable to move. Lost in my own whirring mind. My thoughts felt like crashing waves caught up in a storm stricken sea. I watched him walk out the door, only to pause as headlights flashed outside.

I followed him to see Keira climbing out of a taxi, the slight stumble in her step told me she’d been drinking. She scowled when she locked eyes with Alfie.

“What did he do this time?” she slurred as she climbed the steps.

“Nothing.”

“Right,” she muttered, pushing past us both, “of course he didn’t.”

Alfie looked at me, a weary expression on his face. “Tell her what you did tonight, or I will.”

With that he turned and headed for his car. I watched him drive away, turmoil roiling inside me. Alfie was swarming every inch of my skin, my mind, and I took a breath, trying to force him down and focus on Keira.

She dumped her clutch purse on the kitchen counter and kicked off her heels, stumbling slightly. Her dark eyes fell on the smashed glass on the floor.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No, that was an accident.”

She turned to face me, her arms folded. “I heard what he said. What do you need to tell me? What did you do tonight?”

I opened my mouth and closed it again. How was I going to explain this? “He’s angry because I went to the club tonight.”

She arched a perfectly shaped brow at me. “You? Damn, Lola. You got your kink on?”

“No. I went to see Damien.” I forced the words out of my mouth before I could lose my nerve.

Her eyes narrowed, anger beginning to swim there. “Why would you do that?” Her voice was low, her words strained. I could practically feel her storm brewing, threatening to break out in thunder and lightning any moment.

“I was worried about you,” I stammered. “You haven’t been right since you met him and?—”

“So you think that gives you the right to stick your nose in my sex life?” She yelled and I winced.

“No! I just wanted to know if he’d hurt you.”