Page 10 of Never Tell Secrets

I climbed the stairs, muscle memory moving me over the creaking step. I fell into my old bed and as soon as I shut myeyes, Alfie was there waiting for me. This time, I didn’t fight it. Tonight, I would let myself dream.

He stood in the middle of our Evergarden. Not the haunted version I’d visited tonight, but the one I’d made. No longer grey, he was enveloped in vibrant colour, his smile no longer hidden. His head tilted at me, telling me “come”and in my mind I went to him. His arms came around me, his lips met mine, and in my dreams, I was whole again.

Three

Bacon. The smell permeated my sleep-addled senses and for a moment I was a child again and my gran was making bacon sandwiches in the kitchen. Then the world came back to me and I remembered everything.

The broken bleeding heart had haunted my dreams, twisting them into demented nightmares. The piece of shrapnel left behind from the explosion of our break up weighed heavy in my chest today. It was always harder here, in this room, in this bed. He’d touched this place, slept in this bed. He hung in the air.

I flung my arms over my eyes as I forced back the same tears that threatened me everyday. This was supposed to stop. It was supposed to get easier. It made me angry that I still hurt over a man I should be free of by now. I flung the covers off and got dressed.

I needed breakfast. The sound of laughter vibrated through the house as I crept down the stairs. I found my sister flipping bacon and Ryan laughing hysterically at something on his plate.

“What’s so funny?” I asked. Natalie screeched, her spatula flying in the air.

“Auntie Lo!” Ryan flew out of his seat, giving me all of two seconds to brace myself before he catapulted himself into my arms. “Why are you here?”

“I missed you, little monster.” I squeezed him tighter before putting him down. He was getting way too heavy.

“Did you bring a gift?” he asked, one sticky hand curling into mine.

“No, but we can walk down to the bakery later and you can pick out a treat, if that’s okay with Mum?” I looked up at my sister who was already back to flipping bacon. She gave a distracted ‘okay’ wave.

“K. Come look!” He dragged me over to his plate where he’d rearranged his bacon into a pig's face.

“Very macabre.”

“What’s macabre?” he asked, grabbing his kid-sized dictionary. I spelt it out for him and he quickly looked up the word and copied its meaning into a notebook. I went over to my sister.

“Hey, love.” She gave me a warm smile as we hugged. “Tell me everything.”

I spent the next twenty minutes eating breakfast with my family. Natalie teared up as I told her about my project and I was delighted to hear that the school garden Bradley and I had built was still going strong. She told me about the new classroom she’d been assigned to and Ryan told me he was entering a school competition for short stories but was furious he had been kicked off his football team. Again.

I’d just finished making us both a cup of tea when the doorbell rang. I ran to answer it and found Riley on the other side, looking like he hadn’t slept.

“Morning. I thought you might need a lift back to London.”

“I do, thanks.” I smiled as I stepped aside, inviting him in and leading him to the kitchen. “Riley, this is my sister, Natalie.Natalie, this is Riley Fitzpatrick. We worked on the project at Harrington House together. He’s here to drive me back so I don’t have to fuss with the train.”

Ryan had disappeared from the kitchen. Natalie turned, drying her hands on a dish towel. Her warm, brown gaze focused on Riley, then slowly grew round with shock. She froze as she stared at him. I looked from her to Riley in alarm and watched as recognition settled into his features too.

“Hi.” His voice caught and he cleared his throat. “I’m Riley.” He offered her his hand but she didn’t take it.

“Yeah.” My sister still hadn’t moved a muscle. She cleared her own throat. “Yes, I remember.”

My gaze flitted between the two of them again as they stared at each other. “Someone want to fill me in?” I said, snapping them out of their reverie. Riley gave me a sideways look before going right back to eyeing my sister.

“We’ve actually met before, at a party in Dublin. How long ago was it? Ten years?”

“Almost eleven,” she whispered. Now it was my turn to stare as realisation dawned on me.No. No way.

“Right. So…how have you been?”

“I—”

“Auntie Lo, I’m ready! How many weapons can I bring?” Ryan crashed into the kitchen and promptly dumped every ‘weapon’ he owned onto the floor. Since when did he own a mace? “Who are you?” he asked, pointing his club at Riley.

“I’m Riley Fitzpatrick, Duke of Dublin. And what is your name, young sir?”