Page 202 of Never Tell Secrets

She nodded. She understood. Of course she did but I could see her mind spinning, wondering if maybe I didn’t want her wearing my ring at all. The thought was so ridiculous I nearly burst out laughing.

“You’ll marry me, Lola.”

She let out a laugh. “That’s how you ask me after all this time?”

“I’m not asking and I’m not waiting another three years.”

“This is the part where you drive me crazy.” With a sigh, she rose, wincing as I slipped out of her. She knelt next to me, staring at the box as I fastened my trousers. She didn’t pull up her dress, she left her breasts free which was a relief. She wasn't that mad at me.

I watched as she fixed her thoughts and eventually, after a moment that felt like forever, she offered the box back to me. I took it, accepting that now wasn’t the time.

“Ask me. Ask me right.”

I froze. This couldn’t be real. I stared at her, her hair a tangled mess, her dress a pink cloud at her waist, her eyes deep and searching, unconscious of the fact she was half-naked. She was my own tantalising angel…but this couldn’t be real.

An hour ago I’d been alone. Now she was back, she loved me and she wanted to be my wife. Was this really happening?

“This isn’t how I planned to propose.”

“How did you plan it?”

“Not with this.” I tossed the box away from me, not wanting to hold it anymore. It was beautiful and there had been a time where I wanted nothing more than to see it on her finger but now it felt tainted to me. “Lola, are you sure?”

She smiled, the dimple in her left cheek begging to be kissed. “This is at the end of our path. It’s inevitable. I don’t want to get married tomorrow but I want no question that I’m yours. If you want me.”

‘If.’She’d said ‘if’. ‘If’ was a stupid fucking word when it came to how I felt about her. But this wasn’t right, she deserved a proper proposal.

“Let me do this another time, I’ll plan it properly. It’ll be perfect.”

“If it’s you and it’s me, it’s perfect.”

I held out my hands, showing her their emptiness. “I don’t have anything to give you.”

Her eyes softened, warming with tears. She reached for me and filled my empty hands with her own. “Just ask me.”

My heart beat like an anvil in my chest. My palms were sweating.

I, Alfie Tell, was nervous.

An idea occurred to me and I released her hands. She let out a sweet gasp of surprise as I pulled a long strand of honeysuckle grass from the earth and tied it into a loop as best as I could.

She bit her lip, her eyes welling up with tears and she was beautiful. So beautiful. I could count her lashes, the curves of her hair, the milk of her skin.

I took a deep breath, determined not to let my voice shake. I was terrified but I knew without doubt that when I jumped, she would hold my hand on the way down. “Lola O’Connell, will you marry me?”

She broke into a smile. She looked scared, she looked happy but she nodded her acceptance. She leaned in to kiss me but I pulled back.

“Say it, Lo.”

She gave me that look again, the one that told me I was being silly, the one I was sure I was going to see everyday for the rest of our lives. “Yes, Alfie. I’ll marry you.”

Just like that, the world came alive and yet it settled too. A calm rested deep inside me, aknowing. We were forever.

I placed the fragile, earth ring on her finger and wiped the tears from her cheeks. I kissed her, her mouth hot, her lips soft. She pulled me to her, down to the earth and I fell into her again.

The flame she’d lit inside of me years ago burned a bright bonfire now, heating me all on its own without needing to use her anymore.

As our bodies joined, the world fell away until all that was left were her kisses on my lips and my ring on her finger.

It was a perfect kind of insanity, a blissful madness, one that we could finally control.

We’d got it right, finally and I was home.

She was mine, ever mine. Perennial.

My love. My life. My Lo.