Page 8 of Never Tell Secrets

My instincts were split right down the middle, one side screaming at me not to risk it, the other desperate to make any move that would get me back to Alfie. I didn’t want to go back there, but a part of me wanted to see if I could. If I was strong enough now to enter Alfie’s orbit without getting pulled in.

In the end, it was Riley that made up my mind. He had been my friend, too. I could do this for him.

“Alright, I’ll come.”

Riley’s relief was palpable, his shoulders dropping. “Thank you,” he breathed. I nodded, and without a word I stepped back inside. Maia was sitting at the breakfast nook, scrolling on her phone as if she wasn’t keeping watch.

“I’m heading out. Tell Keira I’ll explain later and not to worry.”

She nodded but said nothing. I went to my room and threw some basics into an overnight bag, all the while shaking my head, wondering if I was really going to do this.

Outside, I found Riley leaning against his car, waiting for me. I climbed in without a word and we immediately lapsed into silence as he drove, our thoughts our only companion.

“So, do you want to tell me where we’re going?” I asked eventually, figuring at least I could be prepared. I glanced over at Riley who looked uncharacteristically grim. My nerves kicked up a notch.

“It’s better if I just show you.”

As soon as we passed the sign for my home town, I knew where we were going, and when he stopped in front of the imposing iron gates of Harrington House I knew I’d been right.

I couldn’t fight the onslaught of memories this place held. We’d met here, we’d fought here, we’d fucked here…I’d left him here.

It had been over two years since I’d been here and I knew it wouldn’t look anything like it had. The work would have been completed by now, the house fully restored and full of guests. Our Evergarden, the one I’d designed for him, would have bloomed over the spring and would now be slowly sinking into its winter slumber. I’d thought many times about coming to see it, if only for the pride of seeing my own work in a place like this. But I couldn’t. Over the last two years, I’d avoided it at all costs. Not even Natalie would mention Harrington House to me because she could see how much it pained me. I just hadn’t had the strength, and now here I was.

The night grew dark around us and I shivered. The lights from the dash reflected off Riley’s face. I looked out the window, wondering what was taking the automatic gates so long. Something caught my eyes and I peered through the darkness, trying to make it out.

“What’s that?” Wrapped around the gates was a thick iron link chain, with a red “Closed” sign securing it. I looked at Riley. What the hell was going on? He got out of the car and I watched as he pulled a key out of his pocket and dismantled the chain. He threw it to the side and unlocked the gates. They let out an eerie creak as he pushed them open, the hinges complaining at being disturbed.

Riley slid back in beside me, and as we started up the path I had to fight the urge to jump out and run away. Whatever he wanted to show me, I didn’t want to see it. I knew that without question. We got closer and closer and my confusion grew. I’d seen Riley’s designs for this place and the acreage leading up to the House should have been finished by now. But there were no garden beds, no topiaries. The trees lining the path edge were overgrown.

When I’d first come here, the first thing I’d seen had been two men installing a great emperor fountain, but as we passed it, instead of water shooting out in a great spray, I saw wires running out of its base like unending snakes. Its centerpiece remained unattached and sat off to the side, gathering moss.

We drove for a minute more and I knew before it came into view what I would see. Harrington House, which should be a beautiful landmark, packed with guests, instead stood still and silent, looking almost exactly as I had left it. The scaffolding was still in place, earth was still compacted and broken.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know exactly. The Sunday morning that you and Alfie were supposed to leave for Milan, Angie called me. Alfiehad ordered all work to be ceased on Harrington. No one was to set foot on the property. Even the workmen were banned from returning to collect their tools.” I followed his gaze to a dormant cement mixer. “Alfie just had them compensated. I tried to call him but he wouldn’t discuss it. I went to his hotel room but he was on his way to Milan already. Without you. So, I put two and two together.”

He sat quietly beside me, staring at the ghostly structure. I risked a glance at him and wished I hadn’t. His face was stricken with worry. “He barely takes my calls now. Mostly I have to deal with Angie, who doesn’t like me much more than she likes you. I complained about my work here going to waste and he gave me a multi-million pound bonus to shut me up. He had the place closed and no one has been here since, except me.”

He fell quiet again, then he took a deep breath.

“You need to go and see your Evergarden,” he said softly. My chest constricted at the thought of walking into that place again, the memories that would haunt me there.

“I don’t want to,” I whispered into the dark. I hated this. Hated that Alfie Tell still had so much power over me. Why couldn’t I let him go?

“I know, but I need you to.”

I took a deep breath.

I am a showgirl. I am a showgirl.

On unsteady limbs I climbed out of the car. The air was cold, the winter months beginning to draw in. The headlights from the car were our only illumination so I pulled out my phone and switched the torch on. My lips pressed into a grim line as I set off for the path around the side of the house that I knew would lead me to the last place I wanted to go.

Riley started to follow me but I held out a hand to stop him. “It’s okay, I remember where it is.”

I remembered my designs like they were the back of my hand. I remembered the flower wheels decked out with jasmine creepers. The waves of pansies and forget-me-nots. The centred plinth of lilies atop a bed of bleeding hearts. I remembered the water-lily littered pond under a cherry tree canopy. It was my heart in tangible form, the place he could go and know what he meant to me.

The earth should have been moulded into grass steps but instead the old, broken ones remained. Ten foot high flower wheels entwined with jasmine should have led the way into the garden but they weren’t there. I stopped at the top of the steps. I didn’t want to see. I couldn’t see our Evergarden empty and abandoned like the house. But I had to, not just for Riley, but because I wasn’t a coward.