Page 141 of Never Tell Secrets

“You’ve still got it,” she breathed, pulling me away from those dark thoughts. Her. Just focus on her. Nothing else matters, nothing exists for me but her. Not cameras, not ghosts, not secrets, nothing. “Take me, Alfie, please.”

“You need me?” I tightened my grip, forcing myself to hold onto her.

“I always need you.” Those words did something to me, awakened a part of me that was innately male. To be needed.

“You want me?”

“Alfie…” She ground down on me, lost in her passion for me.

“Do you love me?” The question fell out of me without consent. She froze and so did I, watching a swarm of conflict swim behind her eyes.

I knew the answer already, I saw it in her smile, her eyes, her kisses. I knew it but suddenly, words that I’d waited years to hear, had imagined a billion times, suddenly I couldn’t bear to hear them. The thought of her saying it sickened me.

“I…”

I swallowed her words, pulling her to me and I pressed her mouth to mine. I gripped her waist and stood, taking her with me. She clung to me as I carried her to my room, my mouth never leaving hers.

I lay her out on the bed, watching her stare up at me from Egyptian cotton sheets.

The screens were bigger in here, their taunting smiles bigger too. They smirked, watching me get ready to fuck the woman I was already violating.

I gritted my teeth, forcing them away. She was all that mattered.

This was it. It was finally happening but still I felt Charles’ presence, I felt my father. This wasn’t a violation. Itwasn’t. She wanted me, and I cared about her more than anything on this earth. I had to do this, had to move on the way she wanted me to.

I doubted she noticed the way she raised her knees, spreading them slightly. Even dressed in a sweater and an old skirt she was the hottest thing on the planet. I removed her boots before finally accepting her invitation and settling myself between her thighs.

The brazen creature slipped a hand between us, unbuckling my belt. She made quick work of my tie and opened my shirt, smoothing her hand inside and over my skin. She held me to her, keeping me safe.

I needed her skin on mine with a deep hunger. I pulled her sweater over her head. Her hair settling in firelit curls around her face, her skin sweet and ivory, breasts pressing against her bra, straining to get to me.

I pulled off my shirt, her gaze burning on my body. I fell back to her, willing myself to fall into her the way I once had. I needed her to shield me from their eyes, their smirks. I consumed her, her tongue hot on mine, her moans heavy. Her chest shuddered, her back arched. I moved to her throat, relishing her gasps as I littered pleasure so pure it glittered over her body.

This was wrong, it was so wrong.

I hesitated for barely a second at that thought before I forced myself on. I gripped her skirt, her tights and pulled them off. Her legs, sweet and soft, opened for me. Her core was right there, swollen through her underwear. I knew underneath the cotton that those folds would be plush and pink, wet and waiting.

I’d dreamed of this part of her more times than I could count, I’d missed the taste of her on my tongue.

“Alfie…” Her voice was a barb, a cut in my barely coloured-in heart. I couldn’t bear it. I cut off anymore words, swallowing her breathy moans as if they would keep me alive.

I wanted to consume her, to let her exorcise the tainted soul out of me and fill it with her own purity.

My own gasps fell between our lips, pained and panicked. A delicate hand cupped my cheek, taking what I needed to give but trying to soothe me too. I couldn’t stand it. Her sweetness gutted me. I wrenched her hands above her head, keeping her from making me feel more guilty than I already did.

I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. Stopping meant the end. Stopping meant losing her. I couldn’t go through that again. That ghost I’d been reduced to after she left.

I pressed into her, letting her feel the length of me, she moaned, moving her hips to meet me.

She wanted me, she needed me, she was mine. Shetrustedme. The reality of that hit me square in the chest. Lola O’Connell trusted me and I was betraying her.

I pulled away.

What was I doing?

I didn’t know, all I knew was that as soon as I stopped,theirsmirks froze.

I felt split, half of me screaming to get back to her, the other half forcing me away.