Page 175 of Never Tell Secrets

"That's not it, or rather that's not all of it,” he frowned, looking older than his years. “I’ve covered for Alfie for a long time, perhaps to his detriment as well as my own. My actions came from a place of guilt, as did Ada’s.”

“Guilt?” I asked. “Guilt for what?”

“We failed to protect him when he was a child.” He held my gaze, unflinching from his own admissions even though I knew how painful they must be. “I knew what Joseph and Charles were doing to him and I’m ashamed to say I did nothing.”

Up until now, I hadn’t given much thought to the role Elliot and Ada had played in Alfie’s childhood. Perhaps my head was just too full of so much other worry that I hadn’t had room to think about that too.

From what I knew, Ada had appeared in Alfie’s life when he was a small child, Elliot came sometime later. I thought back on the diary entries I’d read, Ada had never featured in any of them but Elliot had. Never a direct witness to his abuse but he was often there, on the edges of his world.

He’d known what was happening but he’d done nothing…it didn’t make any sense. The man in front of me would do anything to protect Alfie.

“Why?”

Elliot gave a small shake of his head. “I have no excuse except that I was buried in my own shit. Excuse my language.”

“Really?” I scoffed. “You’ve killed my ex boyfriend, helped my other ex stalk me for two years and it's your language that you think will offend me?”

He gave me a rueful smile. “Fair point.”

“Do you think you could have stopped them? Joseph and Charles?”

“Legally? No.”

I knew what that meant. He could have killed them like he had Adam, he was smart enough to get away with it too, but legally, he hadn’t stood a chance against them.

Elliot waved a hand, dismissing the past. “That’s ancient history and what I said still stands. I’m sorry. I knew helping Alfie was wrong, but as I learned when he had Mike steal your birth control, if I didn’t do the dirty work, someone else was going to and I would rather it be me.”

I arched a brow at him. “It didn’t occur to you to maybe call the police and report him?”

“I wanted to protect him. Like I said, misplaced guilt. Though if I’m being realistic, I doubt he would have faced any legal charges if I had reported him.”

I was all too aware of that. It was one of many reasons why I hadn’t gone to the police. “Men with money are untouchable.”

“From some things, yes, but I think you’ve figured out by now that money can create more problems than it solves.”

I met Elliot’s cool blue gaze, his eyes filled with the wisdom of a man who’d seen too much. “I’ve figured out that Alfie functions with safety nets. You, his walls, the cameras, even Angie in some ways…until he learns to work without them, he’ll never heal. Maybe it’s time you stopped protecting him.”

“Maybe it is. It’s hard to let go. He’s not my son but?—”

“You’ve been more of a father to him than Joseph Tell ever was,” I finished for him.

“Yes.” I wondered if Alfie knew how much he meant to this man. “But that’s no excuse. I am truly sorry, that’s all I have to offer.” There was no game in Elliot’s expression. Unlike Alfie, who kept a million secrets in every corner of his perfect face,Elliot’s was openly apologetic, threads of hope sewn into the fine lines around his eyes.

“You know, I never thanked you for what you did to protect my sister and me.”

Adam.The man whose watery blue eyes still haunted me sometimes. Elliot had risked so much for me. He’d killed a man to keep me and my family safe.

“You're welcome, Miss.”

I returned his warm smile with my own tentative one. I was holding onto so much anger, so much pain of betrayal and the weight of carrying it all was so tiring. I wanted to let a little of it go.

“Elliot, when are you going to start calling me Lola?”

It wasn’t forgiveness exactly, I wouldn’t ever forget what he’d done, yet I felt lighter as I walked away. Maybe this is what closure felt like.

Fifty-Five

Isat on the balcony, the gentle sound of the ocean far below me lulling me into a false sense of security. It told me I could relax, but how could I relax when there was a bomb sitting right in front of me?