Page 6 of June: When Gangstas Collide

I hadn’t slept all night since leaving Bishop’s. I couldn’t believe he used sex as a tool to try to keep me there. The sound of Hope’s cries alerted me that Tania had come over. Since our mom’s passing, we have been going back and forth to the house to keep up with the maintenance. The house was left for Vari, but he didn’t want it. I felt like it was the least they could do for him after destroying his life; however, I didn’t blame him for not wanting it. It held traumatic memories, ones I’m sure he didn’t want to keep reliving. He chose to stay with Kalani and his babies.

I got out of bed, went downstairs, and followed Hope’s cries toward the kitchen. It was odd to see Tania here this early, as the sun was coming up. When I stepped inside, Tania had already set her in the highchair.

“Hey, Auntie's baby,” I cooed.

Tania moved around the kitchen preparing food for her daughter.

“I thought you were at Bishop’s?”

she asked.

“Bishop and I broke up.”

She stopped what she was doing and turned my way, “Stop lying, girl. Y’all broke up?”

“Yes, I mean, Bishop is determined to be in the battle with our brother and—”

“Who Vari?”

“No, Clark.”

Tania burst into laughter.

“That’s not my brother. You can claim his ass, but I’m not.”

Tania didn’t want to accept that we weren’t the only ones. I was surprised that she still accepted Vari in some capacity after finding out that he wasn’t our brother. She continued what she was doing as I watched her in her mom’s era. She was good around Hope. She gave her all the attention she needed, made sure she stayed in the prettiest clothes, and her hair was always done. Hope was spoiled as hell. However, on the other hand, Tania was just like our mother. It was what everyone else thought. Everyone's opinions mattered before her own, so Hope being treated like a princess in everyone else’s eyes is what mattered.

“Bleek and I have decided to give Hope a first birthday party, and we’re going to have it here.”

I smiled widely.

“I love parties. It’s nice to see you guys are finally getting along.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I wouldn’t call it that, but whatever. You know that bitch Synai had the audacity to fight me the other day.”

“Really?”

“Yes! Every time I think about Bleek choosing her, I just, ugh!”

“Maybe he really loves her.”

“Maybe you don’t know shit,”

she snapped back.

I smirked.

“I see why you’re miserable,”

I said as I got up from the stool, walked over to my niece, and kissed her sweet, chubby cheeks. It was sad that Tania and I couldn’t get along like we used to, but I refused to kiss her ass to get a moment of understanding out of her. In my eyes, her and Bleek not being together was a fresh start for her, and she wouldn’t accept it.

I had gone upstairs to get ready for the day. Most of my clothes were back at Bishop’s, and all I had were things I hadn’t worn since coming back from London. I went through my drawers, moving clothes back and forth, but didn’t see anything I liked. I walked over to my closet and flicked the lights on, noticing a box that had been packed up from my condo.

I squatted down to open the box, and everything I saw was a reminder of the time I had to endure with Khas. I began moving things around until I spotted one of Bishop’s dress shirts that I had taken from him. I pulled it out of the box when something hit the floor. I slightly moved my foot, and when I saw what it was, I swallowed deeply. My heart began racing, my mouth watered, and sweat came from nowhere. Fighting the urge was so fucking hard, and to think I wouldn’t be able to do this alone was even harder.

My temptation had grown stronger. If I used it, I would set myself back, but if I walked away, that feeling of wanting to know what it was like to be back on the moon would be stuck in the back of my mind.

I knew I needed help because this version of starting over was a muthafucka.