Page 28 of June: When Gangstas Collide

It was weighing on me that Chevy had asked me about Zaria, and I didn’t tell him. I honestly didn’t want to get in the middle of their relationship, but I knew we needed to talk to him about how he’s been acting. After we left the nursery, the conversation of us not wanting to be involved in the situation felt messed up. He had our backs in ways we couldn’t repay him for; however, trying to get him to see the bigger picture seemed like a much harder task.

I wasn’t sure what those papers said that he read, but I knew whatever it was, Chevy was on crash out time. He had been quiet the entire ride home. Normally, whenever we rode together, it was either jokes being tossed around or us shooting the shit. This time, we got nothing. I knew if we asked him, he wouldn’t tell us, so the only thing I could think to do was to address the things that have been going on, and what better way to ease into the conversation than over drinks and blunts.

When we got back to the house, before everyone got off their bikes, I said something.

“Aye, let’s chill for a bit, have a drink, talk business.”

I knew the word talk business would get Chevy’s attention, and the liquor would get the other niggas attention.

“Have drinks?” Zu asked.

“Yes, you know bond.”

Foe laughed.

“Preach nigga we don’t drink Jesus’ wine.”

“God turned water into wine, didn’t he?”

Diamond added on.

“Yup, yup,”

Foe laughed.

“Ha ha, man, y’all are going to stop playing with me one day,” I spat.

Zu turned his head my way with his helmet still on.

“Yeah, one day, but not today.”

“I heard business. What’s good, Preach?”

Chevy jumped in.

I pointed at Foe’s crib.

“Let’s go to Foe’s.”

“Nigga let’s not. Actually, let’s, you know if we step into Preach’s holy sanctuary niggas might turn into orange dust cause we stay sinning over here.”

Diamond cackled loud as hell.

“Orange dust. Okay, Vampire of Lake Hill.”

“Nah nigga Hoodpire of Compton.”

We all bust out laughing as we removed our helmets before going to Foe’s. When he opened the door, everyone stepped in, and Lakia was on her way out, “Can I use your car?”

she asked Foe.

He had given her the side eye.

“You don’t know shit about this place, hell, I barely know this muhfucka. So where are you going?”

She sucked her teeth.

“To TSU to make sure my enrollment is ok.”

“Enroll these, my ass, I said no. You’re going back to the school that’s been taking my fucking money.”

I could see Chevy wanting to step in, but he didn’t. We all looked at each other. Zu stepped up, “I will call Sasha to come get you,” he said.

Lakia snapped.

“I’m grown. Foe doesn’t run me, I’m older than him. I said I’m going to TSU. Besides nigga, I don’t need your fucking money. I got a scholarship to pay for grad school. You know what, fuck it! I got a ride nigga,”

she hissed and walked out the door, slamming it.

Foe went to follow her, but Chevy stuck his arm out, stopping him. He shook his head.

“Let her ride nigga. You go roll up.”

Foe’s jaw tightened as he eyed the door. He sucked his teeth as he backed away. As soon as we entered the living room, each one of them niggas began rolling up. My eyes bounced on each one of them, “Damn, y’all lungs are going to be dead,”

I said to them.

Chevy turned to look at me as he placed the blunt to his lips and lit it. He leaned back in the seat, taking his pulls.

“Shit, the way my life is headed seems like the better option.”

Zu lit his blunt as he cut his eyes at Chevy.

“Fuck you mean. The cancer back?”

“Nah, just everything around me. I can’t catch a fucking break.”

Diamond inhaled the smoke he sucked up from his blunt, “Whose fault is that?”

We all looked at him. The room fell silent for a few seconds before I jumped in.

“What he meant was—”

Chevy pulled at his blunt again as his dark, devilish eyes emerged through the smoke.

“Nah, Preach let that nigga speak.”

They begin to pass the blunts in a circle.

“I mean what I said. Whose fault is it? Shit, you’re out here moving the way you’re moving, not telling us shit. Hell, we didn’t know about the nigga Bishop for real until you went shooting up the spot. You put us in a position we didn’t ask to be in,”

Diamond finished as he started smoking again.

Puff. Puff. Pass.

Foe burst out laughing.

“Damn, nigga, tell him how you really feel. Got damn Professor Blanco.”

Puff. Puff. Pass.

I dropped my head.

“Look, Chevy. We are all here for you. We’re going to have your back regardless of whether you let us or not. We’ve busted our guns for each other plenty of times. However, you’re on some one band one sound type shit, and where does that leave us? You can’t be moving on the back of yourself. We’re here too.”

Puff. Puff. Pass.

Zu nodded.

“The kingdom isn’t built alone. I would expect you to be more calculated. It’s all love. Shit, you’re moving like one of us.”

I laughed.

“Nah, like them not me.”

Puff. Puff. Pass.

I turned to Foe and scooted forward as his squinted eyes peek through all the smoke that lingered.

“I agree with it all. I’m still a work in progress, but you know I’m down for whatever, just let a nigga know. Don’t let that street shit affect your house, is all I’m saying.”

Puff. Puff. Pass.

“Like you letting what your sister does in her free time affect yours? I hear y’all, I do. For a long time, when I made moves, I was moving off the strength of you guys, who depended on me. I know one person doesn’t build a kingdom, but for me, I feel like it’s how I have to move. I’m not asking y’all to step in. If you want to fall back, then do so. I’m just a nigga trying to figure it out, and what I will not do is let another nigga that I don’t like step on my fucking toes, period.”

Puff. Puff. Pass.

Diamond shrugged.

“Ok, big bad wolf, all I’m saying is I’m here. Let a nigga know the play before the game starts. It’s not just me anymore; I have a girl and a daughter to think about. Maybe, Chevy, you should be thinking the same way. It’s love,”

he said as he stood up.

“I’m high, hungry, and horny. I will catch you niggas later. Stay up, Black man.”

Zu was high as hell, “I’m with that nigga. Stay up.”

Chevy ran his hand over his head. He knew he was in a world of chaos. All we could do was try to be there for him as much as he would let us. I feared that everything we said went in one ear and out the other.

Thirty-seven years of fucking bullshit. I sat on my couch and stared at the papers that had been served to me. I stared at it so long I felt like the words on the muhfucka would change. It felt like the day I found out I had cancer. The more I thought about it, the more the shit started to eat away at me. My life was supposed to be different, but I felt like this was another slap in the face.

It was as if every day I was crumbling. Every day, a new challenge appeared, and every day, I was fighting for my fucking life. I know they say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but a nigga couldn’t even get to the other side to see. Every moment I came up for air, it was merely a second to take it in, then back down I went.

This shit couldn’t be real. Here it was, I’ve been making moves, building an empire, being crowned king to a name that wasn’t even fucking legal. June Calloway was a name someone gave me and didn’t even have the audacity to make my shit legal. June Calloway, a name I starved for, got beat for, I struggled for, and fought to the depths for, and it meant nothing.

There was no way I was accepting Clark Mercier. I didn’t know anything about him, for all I know, Clark Jonathan Mercier was a dead nigga. I didn’t even know how to explain this shit to Z because the fucked up part about it was that if June Calloway didn’t exist, then our marriage didn’t exist. Thinking about that made me sick.

I snatched the paper up and shot up from the couch. I wasn’t bowing to this nigga. He wanted my business, but him trying to discredit me and my name was something different. What about my child? A Mercier? “No, fuck no!”

I shouted.

Zaria came downstairs, staring at me like I was crazy. “June?”

she called out.

Hearing her say that shit made my head spin. Who was I? I begin to question my entire existence. I paced back and forth as I tried to keep my shit together. “June,”

she called out again.

I halted when I noticed King had two more leaves that had fallen to the floor, lifeless. I shook my head because there was no fucking way. I was King, and King was me. I spun so fast and didn’t know Zaria was directly behind me.

“What is wrong?”

I glanced at her sweet face. The woman who took on the challenge of loving June. The woman who accepted June for June. The woman who believed she was married to June. Hell, I didn’t even know who June was and that shit hurt. I began to feel like that little boy whom Mathew said would be a nobody, and based on these papers, I was a nobody.

The weariness in Z’s eyes was tearing me apart. My lips trembled. I wanted to break down. I wanted to drop to my knees and allow my tears to do what they were so eager to do, fall. My eyes traveled to her growing belly, then the ring that sat on her finger. I had to catch myself because I’ve tried so hard to be the man behind the name, and I wasn’t even him. We stared at each other long and hard.

What’s wrong?

I-I.

June.

That fucking name! I could feel the tears trying to escape, and Zaria couldn’t see me like this, not again. I moved around. I snatched my keys and walked out of the house. Samara and Dio were coming up the driveway, but my mind was somewhere else.

“Ayo, Chev, you good?”

I heard Dio call out.

I ignored him as I slid my helmet on. I turned to glance back, and Z was standing in the doorway. “Chevy!”

Dio called out again.

I revved my bike up to take off when Dio ran past me. As soon as he did, I took off. I sped down the street like a night rider. My mind was going a million miles an hour.

“I’m June fucking Calloway,”

I said aloud.

This shit was crazy. The sad part is that I didn’t even know where to start to find answers. I began questioning who I was and my purpose. Why was I chosen for this? Why was it so hard for me to reach the happiness I deserved? I was about to hop on the highway when Dio’s voice came in.

“Chevy, I don’t know what’s going on, and Zaria said something wasn’t right. I’m going to ride with you.”

“Dio take yo ass back home!” I spat.

Suddenly, he was riding alongside me.

“I said no, Chev. Whatever it is, I can handle it. If you're going to ride, let’s ride together. Zoo ova everything, remember?”

I continued riding until I reached my destination. I slowed down as I entered the driveway.

“Oh shit, you’re on demon time,”

Dio chimed in.

I hit the kickstand and hopped off my bike. I removed my helmet, left it on my bike, and walked up to the door. I could hear Dio coming up behind me.

“What the fuck nigga?”

It took only seconds before the door opened, and when it did, I swung. Whap!

“Nigga, who the fuck you think you are? Huh!”

Dio pulled at my arm, “Ayo, Chev, ease up.”

Bishop rubbed his jaw and began laughing.

“Yeah, you’re a crazy nigga. You’re a nobody. A fake ass king. A king holding a kingdom with no fucking name.”

Dio ran up to Bishop, “That nigga is a king. He’s a nigga, you're afraid that’s going to take that fake crown? Prince, my ass, pussy ass prince Bishop. You wish you had the fucking status he got. Let me ask you this, Bishop! Have you been able to feed your whole crew? Huh? You make sure every nigga eats. Do you carry the weight of your niggas on your back? Huh?”

Dio pointed to me.

“’Cause that’s what he does. He puts niggas like me in positions to check niggas like you.”

Bishop eyed me, then Dio.

“Little nigga get the fuck away from my house. Before I—”

I ran up.

“Before you what?”

I said, now standing eye to eye with him.

“No, finish your sentence. Before you what?”

Headlights swept across Bishop’s face, letting me know someone was pulling up.

“Ayo Bop you—”

“Sucka ass nigga,”

I heard Dio behind me.

“Fuck you gone do? Huh?”

Keith said to him.

I turned to see Dio whip out on Keith.

“You want to know what I’m going to do, Keith? What I want to do is put a fucking bullet in you. I want to pull this trigger and watch yo shit open up just to see what kind of nasty thoughts you had about Samara. I want to empty this clip in yo ass.”

I backed away and walked over to Dio.

“Gods don’t make moves like that. You let me handle that. Put it up,”

I said in his ear.

“And Kings don’t bow to a peasant, so what’s up, Chev?”

Right then, I knew. I knew Dio was a chosen nigga.

“Let’s go.”

He began to laugh wildly, “Saved by the king nigga. The next one is on me,”

he winked.

I turned to see Bishop standing there with a smirk because at the end of the day, the nigga had one up on me. He didn’t care that I showed up because the nigga had found a way to strip me of the one thing I prided the most, and that was my muhfuckin name.