Page 3 of June: When Gangstas Collide

I rubbed my feet together on the couch as I sipped on my chamomile tea. The warmth of it soothed my throat. I had been sitting here for the last thirty minutes trying to figure out how the hell I got here. Every day had become a battle to fight my sobriety and to keep Bishop’s head straight, but today I had had enough. I knew he couldn’t control my brother’s actions, but he also could have tried to be the bigger person.

The sounds of the front door opening and London’s paws clapping against the floor to get to the door let me know Bishop was home.

“Whose daddy’s, sweetest little girl?”

he cooed.

“Yes, that’s LuLu, my pretty girl.”

I felt like he loved the fucking dog more than me. When I no longer heard London’s chain clinking, I knew he had picked her up. His shadow emerged on the wall before he came around and stood in front of me.

“You ready to go to bed?”

“Bishop, no, I’m fine where I am.”

He sat London down, “Indigo, please.”

“No, Bishop, I said what I said earlier, and I meant it. I will go to stay at my mom’s in the morning. The only reason I’m here is because a part of me felt like we needed to talk, but now, I don’t know.”

He sat beside me and placed my legs on his lap.

“Indigo, I’ve tried, baby, I swear I’ve tried, but if you think I’m about to let this nigga come and cause havoc and not do shit, then it’s you who’s delusional.”

My head shot his way.

“Delusional? Bishop, only months before that, you were on a killing spree!”

“To save your ass, remember?”

There it was, him making me feel bad for his choice to save me. I was thankful, but I knew deep down that my thanking him in every way I could wasn’t enough. I nodded as I peeled the blanket from my lap.

“You did save me. You helped me get away from a man who destroyed me in ways you would never understand. So, as I’ve said a million times before, thank you. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. Khas is gone, and now so am I,”

I finished and got up to walk off.

Bishop grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto his lap.

“Chill the fuck out, I didn’t mean it like that. I did all of those things because I wanted to, out of love for you. What I’m trying to get you to understand is that I am a man, and what I can’t allow is another nigga to run me out of a muhfuckin place that I went through hell and back to keep safe. I’m not about to allow some nigga’s family, and all, to do shit to me and not do a single fucking thing.”

I didn’t say anything. Instead, I let my mind go off into LaLa Land because maybe I didn’t understand. Zaria and I had tried too hard to show them there was no reason for the madness, but somehow the two kept finding ways to try to kill each other. I received no credit, and I was over it. I was struggling to find happiness, and I didn’t know how. Maybe this was a me problem, but deep down I felt like Bishop’s and my time was up.

I pulled away from him and stood up. “Bishop,”

I paused.

“Have a good night,”

I said as I walked off.

“Fuck!”

My body jumped from his screams. I grabbed my purse and my jacket and walked out the door. As I came down the steps, walked past his car, and saw the bullet holes, I knew my decision was right. Was I truly safe if I stayed? I didn’t know, so the better option was to let him hold on to his pride, as our relationship died.