Page 35 of June: When Gangstas Collide

“Tania, please!”

I shouted back.

This dinner was turning into a therapy session. I didn’t want to be triggered, but of course, this had to happen. Clark sat across the table, glancing at us, amused. Every imperfection our family had was being displayed at this table. The fact that Tania tried to create the persona that we were some happy family was beyond me. It bothered me more after Clark explained his hardship, which should have made it easier for us to express our empathy.

Tania turned to me, “What do you want me to say?”

she screamed.

“Ok, so our mother wasn’t perfect, but she was there right along with Dad. She gave us a life that many would die to have, including him,”

she pointed at Clark.

I could hear Clark suck his teeth.

“Now wait a fucking minute. Who said I wanted your life? Wanting a mother, yes, but to be like you, absolutely the fuck not. I’m not here for money, sweetheart. If that’s what you think, I promise I won’t ruin your trust fund. You would never understand what it’s like to be me. You wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be hungry, to kneel on rice because all you wanted was a piece of fucking bread,”

he had now stood, placing his hands on the table, leaning forward as he glanced at my grandmother.

He was looking at her as if he needed her to understand. Clark was hurting.

“To have your nine-year-old body lusted after. To feel the hands and mouth of a grown ass woman on you, making you feel shit you don’t know how to explain. To have a fifty-year-old use you as her fucking lover because only years before, your family saw you. They saw you,”

he choked up.

I went to run around the table to comfort him when my grandfather grabbed my arm. I glanced down at him and he shook his head no. Clark’s head swung in our direction.

“Your very own family saw you being a fucking house nigga and they walked away leaving you there with the Devil, all because the nigga didn’t want a Wonder Bread ass, coon ass, cracker to take his money away from him,”

his head snapped Tania’s way.

“So wanting money is not it, sweetheart, because money and power from a fucking Devil,”

still looking at Tania, he pointed at my grandfather.

“Is why I grew up the way I did. Fuck him and his money!”

he barked.

The room fell silent as tears fell from not only my eyes but from Tania’s eyes. She knew yet again she was wrong. I snatched my hand away from my grandfather, “You left him? Why would you do that? Where was Mom?”

My grandmother’s head lowered as she began mumbling. Clark’s words had gotten to her.

“She was in the car,”

she mumbled.

Clark’s head swung her way, “What the fuck did you just say?”

My grandmother’s head lifted.

“She was in the car!”

she shouted.

“We had flown back into California. We had come back to find you, and she wanted to be there. It was killing me that my,”

a tear fell from her.

“My baby was hurting. Clark told me we were making a quick stop, but when I saw you, something in my heart told me that it was you, but”

she paused again.

“You told me that wasn’t him!”

she screamed as her pain was in her words.

I couldn’t believe all the things I was hearing. My family was truly horrible. Tania wiped her eyes.

“This is all your fault, Indigo. You had to want to get to know him and now we were hearing things that, that’s—”

My head flew back.

“That’s what Tania? Exposing who the Merciers are. That our mother was destroyed by her parents and in return destroyed us. That you act just like the bitch and now—”

“Indigo is on drugs!”

Tania shouted.

My eyes widened. I didn’t know what to say. I felt sick and betrayed by my twin. Tania was evil, and I wanted to end her right now. Instead, I ran out of the dining room. I grabbed my purse with my phone so I could call Bishop. I didn’t allow the maid to open the door as I swung it open myself to be greeted with a crooked smile, Vari.

I had locked up the church after spending most of my day there with the contractors. The summer was at its peak, and it was hotter than the Devil’s balls out. I wanted to end my night talking to Chev about something and maybe have a nice conversation with Sage. She and I had become close. I didn’t know if we would ever ease past friendship, but I was comfortable with what we had and wasn’t looking to rush anything.

I checked my phone to see what time it was when Pastor Black’s voice caught my attention.

“My Daddy would often stay late as the word always came first.”

My body shifted her way as she stood on the curb, staring at my church, reminiscing. There was some form of regret in her as her eyes eased to me.

I jogged down the steps.

“How can I be of service to you, pastor?”

She stepped forward as she smiled.

“You can help me by giving up this church.”

“This church means nothing to you. If it did, you would have never given it up to begin with.”

She dropped her head, “I had to!”

she shouted.

My face frowned in confusion. To my knowledge, she had chosen to minister elsewhere. She had given this up to chase what she believed God was calling her to. It’s what I gathered from the conversation with her and Sage.

“My life was in this church. Then you came, a person who stirs up conflict in the community, Proverbs six, verses sixteen through nineteen.”

The audacity of this lady, but I had one better.

“See, you did not say it in full, so let me add to that, a lying tongue, a heart that devises wicked schemes. Pastor, I’m that one. I’m the one who will challenge your words every time. So, before you come to me with Bible verses, know I have one better.”

When she lifted her head, she was in tears.

“This too shall pass. Lord, forgive me,”

she cried.

“I never thought anyone would buy this place. He promised me nobody would!”

she screamed.

I didn’t know what she was talking about, but the guilt that was weighing on her, I knew it was coming.

“Well, it was I who got it, and now I can take on a legacy of spreading the gospel my way.”

She held a brown and gold handkerchief in her hand tightly as her arms swung. “Clark!”

she shouted.

“Clark promised me.”

I tried reaching out to her when I saw Sage’s car pull up. She hopped out and rushed over toward us. “Ma!”

she called out before she looked at me.

“I’m sorry, Prentice.”

I held my hand out, confused. “It’s ok.”

Sage tried pulling her crying mother, but she yanked away.

“Get your fucking hands off me! I want my daddy’s church back,”

she said as she ran up to the door, placing her palms against it, wailing.

“Lady, I’m trying to be sympathetic, but you're pushing my limits. I don’t know what you and Clark had, but it has nothing to do with my church. Now leave.”

Sage came over to me.

“Give us a minute, please. She called me, mumbling something about this place, and it’s why I came.”

I looked at Sage.

“It’s shame. Whatever it is, it’s shame.”

When she mentioned Chev’s grandfather, I knew it could only be one thing. Sage grabbed her mother, lifting her and trying to lead her to the car.

“Ma, Clark promised you what?”

She turned to Sage and held her face.

“The Devil comes in all forms. That man said he loved me, and he wouldn’t sell the only thing I had left of my daddy. Men like him,”

she said, pointing to me.

“They are no good, Sage.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose because I was trying to be understanding, but the blows this lady was sending only pissed me off.

“I’m a bad guy because you slept with a married man who promised things he couldn’t deliver on. Or rather, made a promise he never intended to keep? It sounds to me, Pastor Black, you were just like Eve yourself, hard-headed.”

“Prentice!”

Sage shouted.

I cut my eyes at her.

“No, she came here disrespecting me, and I feel bad that she lost something precious to her, but she knew what she was doing, and I’m not going to be to blame. I wish her the best, but if I allow her to keep doing it, she will. You are an example of that, Sage.”

I could tell Sage was in the middle of something she didn’t want to be. I wasn’t trying to make her choose, but to see things for what they were. It was that feeling wanting to believe that, at some point, you could find the good in your family. However, Pastor Black was damaged and not by God but by a man, a man she thought would be her savior, yet turned out to be the Devil.

He may have gotten to her, but he wasn’t going to get to Chev. I didn’t want that nigga swaying Chev in no way because wanting family acceptance could lead to that and I knew how bad Chevy wanted a family. I needed to warn him sooner rather than later.