Page 46 of June: When Gangstas Collide

I had tried calling Indigo because I know Zaria. It only made sense for her to reach out to the one person she knew I wouldn’t talk to. I called back-to-back, and she hadn’t answered. I decided to go to Grace’s house. When I got to the door, I didn’t even bother to knock because time was being wasted, and the longer I was away from Z, the more manic and unreasonable I was becoming. I drew my foot back and kicked the door in. “Indigo!”

I shouted. “Indigo!”

“She’s not here nigga,”

Tavaris, the nigga with the slur, said to me.

It was something about this nigga I didn’t like, but also intrigued me.

“Where is she?”

He turned only his head slowly toward me and shrugged.

“I don’t know. I should shoot you for kicking in that door like that.”

“Nigga, please.”

He drew his gun and aimed it at me, and I did the same.

“I don’t know what the fuck is up with this loony ass family, but all you niggas better tread lightly.”

He eased his hand on the slide and cocked it back, “This yo family nigga not mine. Your funky ass momma stole me. Your momma, the demon, the lady who took me and changed my fucking name and manipulated me to what she wanted me to be. Your mother, the lady who made me this way, who put me in mental institutions to make me think I was crazy. She fucked me up! I’m still confused about who I am because of her. I have twin boys with both my names because my girl felt I needed to keep both sides of me. So no nigga this isn’t my family, it’s yours.”

Since being here, I hadn’t heard anything good about my mother. She had destroyed so many people and I began to feel like I was doing the same. I didn’t want ties to the Merciers, but wanted ties to Grace. I wasn’t fucked up like the Merciers yet slowly becoming them. The name that Clark had given me was cursed with evil, but it was I who had built June to what it was. I didn’t want to be like this nigga Tavaris, confused about who I was. I knew exactly who I the fuck was.

I lowered my arm to move the gun from Tavaris’ face. I pulled the clip out, cocked the gun back again, so the bullet would hit the floor. He then lowered his.

“My family is Bishop, the nigga you hate. The same nigga who got you chasing your tail. You two are much alike. I hope y’all can work it out.”

I stepped closer to Tavaris.

“Just like my mother stripped you of who you are. Your brother has done the same to me. You tell that nigga that I am June Calloway. It doesn’t matter what he thinks he knows, but Chevy that nigga died months ago,”

I pointed at him.

“You know who you are. You’ve built the name. It doesn’t matter who strips it from you or whether you have more than one. You know exactly who you are. Stand on that shit,”

I told him.

He nodded slowly. I couldn’t take my eyes off the huge scar he had on his head.

“What happened to you?”

He glanced down, then back up.

“Your mother shot me. She shot me the night,”

he pointed at me. “June,”

he paused again.

“Called and I shot her ass back. I didn’t kill her, but I wish I had. Now I’ve got Clark to thank for it.”

To know this nigga shot my mother only minutes after I got off the phone with her stung. It was a blow to my gut that I wasn’t expecting. The sad part is, I couldn’t be mad at Tavaris because if someone had ruined my life as she had him, I would have done the same thing. The only difference is that I would have made sure she was dead.

I turned to leave the house because there was nothing left to say. I wanted to free that little boy inside me who had been dying for thirty-seven years to find out who he was and the truth. He had found it, but it had been thirty-seven years of wasted time. When I stepped outside of Grace’s house, I felt free, leaving that little boy who had been stuck inside of me there.