Page 11 of June: When Gangstas Collide
“I just don’t know, things are weird,”
I said as I handed the diaper to Yana.
My eyes watched as she gently handled Love. Her tiny toes and hands moved stiffly through the air. She was so precious and innocent. My hand slid over my belly because a part of me couldn’t wait until my pride and joy arrived. At first, I didn’t know what it would look like for me to have a baby so quickly by a man that I was still in the process of getting to know, but now I couldn’t see a world without him, and that’s what became scary.
“Hello, Zari,”
I heard Yana call out.
“Girl, are you ok is the question.”
I walked over and sat on the other side of the bed.
“I’m ok. It’s just June, he’s—”
“He’s what? An alpha? A king? An asshole?”
I laughed.
“He’s definitely all of those things, but I think he’s losing his mind.”
“You’re just now realizing that? I don’t think you would have married a man you couldn’t handle. Look, I know you and Chevy are good together, hell, great together; you both have what the other needs. If you don’t think you can handle it, then maybe you need to separate and figure it out. But if you ask me, I say match his energy. He loves you, Zari. There is no question about that, but show that nigga that you're not just a lover but Mrs. fucking Calloway.”
I laughed, but I knew she was right. In my mind, I figured June would slow down, think more about his family rather than some beef. However, I see now it was going to take much more than a morning of locking him out of the house for him to see it. I wanted to spend time with my sister and the baby, so instead of dwelling on June, I picked up my niece and loved on her.
Yana slowly moved around the hospital room, packing up her things, when she stopped and smiled.
“You know what you’re having yet?”
“No, June and I decided to wait until the baby is born to find out.”
She shrugged.
“I think you should find out now, so that you can prepare for your bundle of joy. You know to keep your mind occupied on the baby versus Chevy. I know you want to see what you're having, Zaria.”
I did. I wanted to know so bad, but June and I promised to wait. It was always those promises we made to each other. The promise to never lie to each other, the promise to be honest, the promise that our family would come first, and the fucking promise he would behave, yet that one has already been broken. I soaked up the things my sister was saying, but what we hadn’t talked about was Navi.
I lay Love down as her little hand wrapped around my finger.
“What do you think about Navi leaving?” I asked.
Yana stopped what she was doing to look at me, “I don’t know. I didn’t think she and Preach would ever break up. I know she’s hurt, and she’s moving off emotion. They will get back together.”
I shook my head. The way Preach acted at the Zoo-Cue, I knew that was a lie. The point of June and me throwing it in the first place was so that Zu, Sasha, Preach, and Navi could work it out, but the complete opposite happened. Navanna could get really petty when feelings were fucked over. I didn’t want her to do anything stupid for the sake of love, but shit, who was I to judge, because I know that for my man, I would lose it.
“Maybe it’s best that she goes back home. Hell, Ma needs someone to be with her. She wasn’t right when we left.”
Yana tossed her hand on her hip, “Not the optimistic queen saying this. I don’t know; I like being around both of you, but if Navi does go back home, then she goes back home. I’m going to miss her, though.”
Rayana wasn’t leaving Diamond’s side. She probably didn’t care if Navi stayed or left. I knew we all had our own shit to worry about, and as much as I wanted to be worried about my sister, I had a bigger issue on my hands. I’d finally left the place I had been so desperate to part from, leaving the negative shit behind and getting a new start, but now I had to save the one thing I never thought I would have to; and that was my marriage.