Page 19 of June: When Gangstas Collide

The ride back to Lake Hill with Zaria and me was silent. I had many questions about why she had called me in the first place. I had offered to call Chevy, but she refused to let me call him. I cleared my throat, “You good back there?” I asked.

When she called, I cut my lunch off with Sage and came straight to her. Zaria was like my sister, and if she needed me, I was going to be there. I didn’t know where Chev was, but I hoped like hell he was stuck in traffic or some shit because it wasn’t like him to leave Zaria. I felt a little uncomfortable as she rode on the back of my bike with her pregnant belly poking into my back.

“I’m good. Take me to your church,”

she said in the head helmet.

“Zaria, don’t you think—”

“Take me to the goddamn church!”

she yelled.

I didn’t say anything else as I made a sharp right turn. She tightened her arms around my chest as I continued to dive in and out of traffic until I approached the church. Once I arrived, I hit the kickstand, got off, and then helped her off. When she removed the helmet, I could tell that she had been crying, and seeing that, I knew it was trouble in paradise.

I led the way as I unlocked the doors, allowing her to walk in. I could tell she was extremely nervous, but I could also tell she needed this moment. She slowly walked further inside and into the sanctuary. I watched her as she eased her way down the hall, and her next move shocked me. Zaria kneeled before the cross.

Her muffled sobs pulled at me. I walked over and knelt beside her.

“Zaria, I can call Chevy if—”

“No!”

her voice echoed in the church.

“Can you pray with me or for me or whatever it is you're doing, Preach, please.”

She gripped her hands together and bowed her head in tears. I knew dealing with Chevy wasn’t easy, and this entire thing was probably tearing her apart slowly. I began to feel bad for her. I was starting to take the blame for playing a part in putting her in a position none of us were sure she was ready for. I think, knowing our best friend was dying, we were willing to do anything to keep him alive, and that was at the risk of someone else’s mental health.

Zaria sniffled.

“God, if you can hear me. I need you. I need to know that my family will be ok. I need your help. Give me direction. God, I know it’s not often I come to you, but I’m here. I’m begging for the sake of my family. I need this to work, or I don’t know what I will do.”

She was praying. I nodded slowly before I jumped in.

“Father God, your child is coming to you as humbly as she can. Lord, I know you have a plan for everything, and if it is in your plan to see her through her trials, please see her through them. I pray that you lay hands on her family and strengthen them. Whatever it is, lord, see them through—”

“Please,”

she cried.

My heart ached for Zaria, but I continued.

“Bless the child, bless her, bless Chevy. Lord, we are grateful, amen.”

“Amen,”

she sniffed.

Zaria raised her head, then looked at me, “Thank you, Preach. Thank you.”

I nodded slowly.

“You’re welcome. You want to talk about it?”

She smiled.

“Only if you want to talk about Navanna.”

“I guess the conversation is over.”

She gave a weak laugh.

“Don’t do my sister. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“Listen, I want to say this without being disrespectful, but your sister was a season, and I do have love for her, but she is not my person, and I hope you and Rayana can understand that.”

She took in a deep breath.

“I understand. Navanna will be fine. Can you take me home now?”

I smiled.

“Yes, I can.”

I didn’t know what was going on in the Calloway house, but I certainly hoped that prayer would work. I knew after this was done, I needed to call Sage and apologize for cutting her off.

Sage had asked me to meet her at her mother’s church. She told me to text her when I got outside. Upon pulling up, there were only two cars in the parking lot, and neither one of them was Sage’s. I pulled my phone out to text her, but something in my spirit told me to get out and go inside.

When I stepped foot into the church, it almost reminded me of a business rather than a church. I began to walk around, admiring the luxurious aesthetic until I reached the mega-sized sanctuary, with thousands of seats for the Saints, and a stage for an altar.

I stayed back in the dark shadow as I spotted Sage interacting with her mother. The good part of an empty room is that you can hear everything.

“You have done nothing I asked you to do. Instead, you’ve been running around with that Zoo boy, doing God knows what.”

“I’ve been trying to be here when you need me, Ma, but I do have a life too. Now, whether I’m with a man or not, that’s my business.”

Slap!

“In the name of Jesus. Sage, you watch how you talk to me.”

I began to move quickly down the aisle.

“Don’t you use his name, then hit her. Lady, what is wrong with you?”

I spat as I had gotten closer.

Pastor Black’s head spun in my direction so fast, “And you bring the Devil to my church.”

Sage turned to look at me.

“I asked you to text me when you were outside. I got this, Prentice.”

I knew Sage was trying to handle her mother, but she wasn’t doing enough for me. To shame your child for trying to find their way wasn’t it. She turned to her mother.

“Ma, that’s the last time you're going to put your hands on me. God knows my heart, and he also knows I am not a Saint of this church.”

“Girl, what has gotten into you. You need prayer. With everything I’ve done to make sure you are covered in the blood, and this is what I get in return?”

I laughed.

“See, I thought my father was bad, but you, you're something different. Here it is, you have been blessed with the gospel to share with your congregation, yet you don’t follow a word you preach.”

Her mother turned to me.

“Says the nigga who runs the streets then pretends to be a pastor,”

she paused, then turned to Sage as she pointed to me.

“The Devil comes in different forms, can’t you see. This man is sitting in your grandfather’s church preaching hoopla. My God, my daddy would be rolling over in his grave.”

Sage stepped back.

“No, Pawpaw is turning over in his grave because you have sold your soul to the Merciers. He didn’t want you to have this church. He wanted you to keep his church, but no, Mama. The money called and you went running.”

I could see the disappointment in Pastor Black’s face. I could tell a tiny piece of her loved the lord, but she loved the money more. Chevy’s family seemed to have the city in their pockets, and it made me believe they wanted us to be in their pockets, too. Once I reached Sage, I grabbed her hand, and she quickly looked at me. I got you. I mouthed.

“Get out!”

the pastor shouted.

I smirked.

“Yes, ma’am. Come on, let me get you out of here.”

Sage glanced back at her mother. I knew this was something she had tried to do so many times before, but the fear of being shunned by your family is a big deal. It was the same feeling I felt when my father had done it to me.

“Mama, what happened to you? What happened to that woman who didn’t judge yet understood?”

Pastor Black said nothing. Sage turned to me and slowly nodded. We took the walk back up the aisle to exit the church.

“Don’t come running back when that Devil turns on you. You're just like Eve. Hard-headed.”

I muttered to Sage.

“Don’t listen to her. She’s going to say whatever she can to make you feel bad.”

When we got outside, Sage let my hand go and turned to me.

“How did you deal with it all?”

she asked.

Our eyes connected and when that tear fell from her eyes. It hurt me. It hurt me because I knew how it all felt and this moment just took me back down memory lane. My thumb stroked her tear away.

“It took me a while, but I said what I had to say to my pops and walked away. If you ever need to talk, to pray, to vent, and even to sing. I’m here.”

She had blessed me with a perfect smile.

“Thank you—”

“So this is why we can’t be together?”

Navanna’s voice came in.

Sage and my head swung at the same time. Sage cleared her throat.

“If you need me to step away, I can.”

I shook my head.

“No. We’re not doing anything, and I don’t run. Navanna, she has nothing to do with why we are no longer together, but you know that. You want it to be the reason so you can show your,” I paused.

Navanna laughed.

“Holy hood nigga, but more nigga than holy. Fuck you, Preach!”

she yelled before walking off.

I knew this time was going to come, but I didn’t know when. I feared her anger for me would cost the crew their freedom. Did I give her what she wanted and sacrifice my happiness for the sake of the crew, or walk away, allowing God to handle the rest?

I turned to Sage, who looked confused.

“So that’s the ex-fiancé, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty woman.”

“Pretty but dangerous.”

Sage shrugged.

“She does know we’re friends, right?”

I pushed my glasses up, “Even if I told her, she wouldn’t believe me.”

The moment I thought I was free. I was still in prison.