Page 34 of June: When Gangstas Collide

June leaving the way he had me fed the fuck up. Him not telling me what was wrong was unlike him. We told each other everything. Then I thought about me not sharing what I knew about the pregnancy with him and maybe this was my karma. What I didn’t understand was why it was me who was feeling bad for shit I didn’t do. It was I taking on the extra role of a spouse. I was carrying the weight of June’s emotions on my shoulders since the day I met him.

This was not love. It was love adjacent. It was merely a piece of what June offered me. He loved me with limitations, while I loved him with my whole heart. I had made up my mind that he and I would talk. We would hash out whatever it was because it was a part of being married, right?

I could feel my stomach cramping and I tried my best to calm myself down. I needed some fresh air because being in this house alone with my thoughts was driving me insane. I slid my shoes on, grabbed my keys, and swung the door open to see Dio standing there. Wrinkles formed in his forehead as he reached out to me.

“Z, what’s wrong?”

I tried to smile it off.

“I’m ok. Are you here to see Samara? She’s upstairs,”

I told him.

He nodded slowly as he stepped inside, as I moved past him.

“I will be back. I need some air. Can you lock up for me?”

I said as I made my way down the driveway.

“Ah, shit,”

I groaned as I stopped holding the bottom of my stomach.

Feet to pavement is what I heard before Dio came and wrapped his arms around my back, “Nah, Z, come back inside. I don’t think—”

“No! I need air!”

I shouted.

I wasn’t trying to misplace my energy on him, but I didn’t want to go back into that loveless fucking house. I’d reached my limits. I knew what I felt. June and I were disconnected spiritually.

He and I barely had conversations, and his concerns were more about a non-existent fucking beef than his wife and child. I didn’t want to deal with his friends or my sisters. I wanted to be alone.

Dio removed his hands as he stood in front of me.

“Ok, we don’t have to go back inside, but I’m not leaving you alone, Z. I love you and I care about how you feel, so if it means I need to take you where you want to go, fine. I will text Mars.”

I nodded slowly as I allowed him to lead me to his truck. Dio opened the door and helped me in. He jogged around and got in. He picked up his phone and called someone. I was hoping he didn’t call June because right now, I'm liable to knock his head off his fucking shoulders.

“Zeus, I’m taking Z to get food. I will be back in a few.”

I could hear Zeus’ deep mumbles coming through the phone.

“Yeah, Samara is still at Chev’s. Love you, and I will be safe,”

he finished, then hung up.

It was good to see Zeus and Dio in a better position. Since Dio had been back, I could tell he was trying to step into a role that reminded me so much of June. He backed out of the driveway and took off. I rolled the window down to enjoy the night air. The breeze wrapped around my face loving on me.

“You good?”

Dio asked.

“I’m as good as I’m going to be,”

I said as I turned to look at him.

“You know, I like that you cut your hair off. Handsome. How are you since being out of New York?”

He shrugged.

“Things are good. I can’t complain.”

I smiled.

“That’s good. Not the same boy I met in the middle of the street that night.”

I could see him swallow deeply.

“I think about that night all the time. I still can’t thank you enough. I thought then, after you saved me, I was good, but truth be told, Z, it was only the beginning. I was struggling in New York. My mind was still in that same place, then God,”

he paused as he gave me a glance.

“He made me face the truth. He put me in a place to sit down so I could see everything for what it was. The truth hurts, Z. That shit hurts bad, but it saved me in the end. I don’t know what’s going on between you and Chev, and I’m sure that marriage shit is beyond my years, but I know Chev, and maybe he needs hard truths to see things for what it is.”

I couldn’t believe it was Dionysus who was pulling a me on me. I loved this version of him. He honestly reminded me of June when he and I first met. I knew that at some point, if Dio stayed in the Zoo, he would play a significant role. He was perfect for Samara in my eyes, but I knew that could change with time. I patted his leg as I smiled at him.

“You're growing up so fast. Growth.”

He laughed.

“A little something. Don’t get it twisted, Z. I’m still a fucking menace.”

“I’m sure.”

He hit a few corners before we pulled up to an ice cream spot.

“What the hell?”

“Shit, all babies like ice cream, right. It used to make me feel better as a kid.”

I let out a laugh.

“I see you. Well, make sure it’s made with almond milk because—”

“I love you and Chev with that holistic, gluten-free, non-dairy ass shit.”

Although he made jokes, I loved how he had become such a gentleman. Dio and I had a different type of relationship, and I would do anything for him if needed. He had made a bad night good. I knew June and I were going to have to talk things out, but I knew June just as he did, and he wasn’t going to listen to anything I had to say.

Before Dio walked off to get ice cream, he jogged around to my side of the window.

“I want to tell you a secret.”

“It better not be that my child is pregnant.”

He dropped his head and shook it.

“I sent her to y’all, and you and Chev both act like y’all birthed her. Zaria, I will not hurt a woman who saved my life. I respect her very much, just like I respect you, because I love you both. Now, I haven’t told anyone else, but I got into TSU.”

I tossed my hand over my mouth because I didn’t even know he had applied for college.

“Congratulations!”

I shouted.

“Thank you. Let me tell everyone, please.”

“Promise.”

Dio walked off as I sat there, happy for him yet sad for Samara. I didn’t know what this news would do for her, but I hoped she didn’t become envious. Meanwhile, it made me more upset at June because he should have left well enough alone.