Page 16 of June: When Gangstas Collide
I ran red lights and damn near hit a car trying to get to the hospital. I touched Zaria’s leg.
“We’re almost there, baby, hold on,”
I mumbled as my feet became heavy on the pedal.
Zaria, lying there lifeless, began fucking with my head. She was my world, and the thought of her not being here with me, along with my child, would destroy me. I pulled up to the hospital and parked right in front of the emergency entrance. I hopped out, ran around, and picked Zaira up out of the passenger side. My fucking heart was racing. As soon as I entered the building, I began screaming for help. When the front desk workers spotted me, they rushed over.
“What happened?”
“I-I don’t know, she passed out in the middle of the street. She needs some fucking help!”
I screamed.
People came from the back, trying to take her out of my hands, but I didn’t want to let go; letting go wasn’t an option for me because we had made a promise to each other. Letting go was like me saying goodbye, and with Zaria, that shit didn’t exist between us. After a few tugs, they were able to take her from my arms and place her on a gurney. I tried following behind them, but they stopped me.
“Sir, we will let you know as soon as we find—”
“Get your fucking hands off me. That’s my fucking wife! Zaria! Zaria, baby, I’m right here!”
The security pushed me back, and I shoved his ass.
“I said get your fucking hands off me nigga!”
I knew I needed to calm down, but the shit was so fucking hard when my heartbeat was probably not beating. More security came out surrounding me.
“Sir, we’re going to ask you again to calm down, or we will need to remove you from the hospital. Chevy, nigga calm down. I tried coaching myself.
I tried taking my mind to the universe that she and I shared, hoping she would be there and give me a sense of peace. I closed my eyes, but she wasn’t there, and I was losing my mind. Zaria had created a space for me, the only space where I felt like I had the option to relax, and I didn’t have that. She wasn’t in our fucking universe.
I felt a pair of hands on my arm, and I lost it and swung. Whap! Whap!
Before I knew it, they had a nigga facedown on the ground. I felt cuffs being placed on my wrist. At this point, I surrendered. They picked me up, carried me outside, and tossed me in the back of a cop car. I leaned my head against the window as the officer drove off. I felt like my life was starting to crumble before my eyes. I thought about that black calla lily. This had to be the beginning of a nigga’s hell, and my wife was collateral.