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TJ

We made it to four of the rental properties on his list before being forced to call it a day. Two of the remaining rentals were apartments whose offices had closed for the day, and the last one’s property manager no-showed. I could tell Jimmy was feeling a little overwhelmed by it all, so I suggested we grab a bite to eat at Arlo’s Bar and Grill.

We were seated at a booth along the side wall, and after ordering burgers and fries, Jimmy surprised me by pulling my hand into his. After the kiss in his car, we’d been focused on getting to as many properties as we could, so there hadn’t been time to analyze any of what happened, but I couldn’t help but think about it now.

I’d barreled through life, not giving a lot of thought to the next step. Even coming home to Astaire had been a spontaneous decision. And the sub gig I’d started this week had practically fallen into my lap. But this was Jimmy. He was more important to me than almost anything else in my life. If I was going to keep him this time, I needed to proceed with caution. He’d been in a shitty relationship and deserved to be handled with care.

“Can we talk about what you said earlier? About wanting me?”

He blushed. “I suppose we should.”

“I haven’t been shy about my feelings for you.”

“You’ve never been shy about anything.”

I laughed, some of the tension easing between us. “I care about you, sunshine. I never stopped. And I want you to know that I’m scared too. I’m scared I’ll push too hard or too fast. I’m scared I’ll lose you again.”

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

Our server stopped by, dropping off a couple of sodas. I took the sleeve off the straw, popped it into my Coke, and took a sip before continuing, “So what I need to know is… What do you want? From me? From us? I’m invested in making this work, but I need you to lead the way. I want to respect your need to stand on your own after what you’ve dealt with for the last year, but that means you have to call the shots. You have to tell me if I’m moving too fast or coming on too strong. I need—” I stopped abruptly. “What? What’s this?” I reached across the table and thumbed at the tear slipping down one cheek.

He took a breath, looking up at the ceiling and blinking rapidly before returning those chocolate-brown eyes to mine. “You’re just the only person I’ve ever met who understands so completely who I am and what I need. And not only do you see it, but you value it. You don’t treat my anxiety like it’s an annoyance. You don’t act like my insecurities are somehow a reflection on you. You…you make me feel like I matter.”

Unable to stand the distance between us, I slipped out of my side of the booth and scooted around to sit next to him. I pulled him into my arms and held him, whispering in his hair as the tears fell. I hated that asshole he’d dated and anyone else who’d ever made him feel like he was anything less than the beautiful person that he was. “You do matter, sunshine. You’re everything to me.”

He pulled his head back so he could look at me, as if trying to ascertain the sincerity of my words. I smoothed a hand down his cheek, swiping at the moisture there. He turned his face into my hand and kissed my palm, then leaned up and pressed another kiss to my lips, soft and sweet. “I want us to date. I want to spend time with you and your family and hear about your Broadway adventures. I want us to hold hands and kiss and make out like teenagers. I want to introduce you to Sammy. I want you to be my boyfriend.”

Our server came by again, this time holding our food and looking a little awkward about interrupting us. I’d forgotten we were in a public space. Jimmy and I pulled apart, though I remained on the same side of the table while the server dropped off our food and left us alone again. I watched as Jimmy snagged a fry, dipped it in ranch, and popped it into his mouth.

Everything he’d said sounded too good to be true. It was exactly what I wanted. But I had to be sure. “I want all of those things, sunshine. I’d be honored to be your boyfriend. I just want to make sure it’s not too much too fast.”

“Honestly, it probably is. But I also don’t want fear to get in the way of the things I want. I’m tired of holding myself back. So maybe, like, we’re boyfriends, but we also take it one day at a time?”

“Okay, boyfriend , what do you want to do after this?”

He thought about it for a moment, nibbling on another fry. “How about game night with Gram?”

I smiled wide, happiness settling over me like a thick blanket. “I think that sounds perfect.”