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TJ

What should have been an hour-long drive took me forty-five minutes. After a brief text exchange in which Jimmy had given me the address to his apartment, I hopped in my car, breaking several traffic laws in my haste to get to him. I’d played out every possible scenario on my way. Had even considered calling the cops to do a welfare check, but I’d held back, thinking that if he had the ability to text, he also had the ability to make that call himself if needed.

Riddled with doubt that I’d made the wrong call, or in this case, possibly hadn’t made the call I should have, I climbed the stairs to his apartment two at a time. I gave three sharp knocks in rapid succession, calling out his name as I did so. My phone buzzed in my pocket.

Sunshine

you can come in

With my heart pounding out of my chest and alarm bells clanging in my head, I pocketed my phone and pushed open the door. The apartment was quiet and dark, with the exception of one light shining out of an open doorway toward the back.

“Jimmy?” I called, heading toward that light. Something brushed against my legs, startling the shit out of me, and I looked down to see green eyes staring at me. The cat gave a loud meow, then turned and walked away as if leading me toward its owner.

I stepped into the bathroom, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the light. Jimmy was sitting on the floor, back against the cabinet, knees drawn up to his chest. He looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes, the hurt swirling in them so deep my heart broke cleanly in two.

“Hi.” His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

I sank onto the floor in front of him, aching with the need to touch him. To pull him into my arms and hold him. To protect him from whatever had hurt him. “Are you hurt? What do you need?”

His face crumpled, and the tears began to fall as he laid his cheek on his knees and sobbed, his entire body shaking with the force. I’d seen Jimmy the day after his mom left and the day we’d broken up. The first time, he’d looked lost. The second, he’d been grief-stricken. We both had. But today, right now, he looked utterly broken. And I had no idea what to do.

Unable to help myself, I gave in and pulled him onto my lap. He came willingly, burrowing himself into my chest as the tears continued to fall. I rocked him back and forth, rubbing my hand up and down his back, muttering soothing sounds against his hair.

Eventually, the tears slowed to a trickle, then stopped altogether, but he didn’t move off my lap. “You said that to me the day I moved into the dorm.”

Confused, I pulled my head back, trying to look at him, but he kept his face buried in my chest, so I put my head back on top of his. “I said what?”

“You asked what I needed.” He sniffed and swiped a hand down the cheek that wasn’t resting against my chest. “No one has ever asked me that. Except you.”

My heart squeezed, but I didn’t know what to say.

“I broke up with Steven today.”

And now my heart lurched. It was being put through the wringer today.

“He’s been cheating on me. For months. Several times with his best friends and god knows who else. I went to the clinic yesterday to get tested. I should have the results back in a couple of days.” He said all this casually, as if updating me on the weather forecast. “I’d been thinking about breaking up with him anyway, but then he didn’t come home after we fought over the weekend, and I found out about the cheating, and that was the last straw.”

I continued to stroke his back, not wanting to interrupt him. “He didn’t take it well. We fought. He said some nasty stuff. I had a panic attack.” My hand stilled. “I’m fine. I took my rescue meds.”

Finally, he looked up at me. “Honestly, I’m not even sure why I called you. We hadn’t seen each other in years until Saturday. We don’t even know each other anymore. You were probably in the middle of something. I’m sorry. I should—” He made to stand, but I wrapped my arms around him tighter.

“I’m glad you called. There isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.”

“But—”

“Shh,” I crooned, pulling him back into my chest and tucking his head under mine. He relaxed into me, going completely limp in my arms. And as if he’d only needed my permission, he finally let go and fell asleep.