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13

JIMMY

Mandy

We’re coming into town today and kidnapping you. Be ready at noon

I read the text as I was sitting in the library Saturday, trying to catch up on homework from the day of classes I’d missed earlier in the week.

What if I already have plans?

Drea

Do you?

No

Mandy

See you at noon!

I shook my head but smiled as I closed the messages app and checked the time. I figured I could spend another hour studying before heading back to shower and change for whatever they had in store.

Just after noon, I got another text letting me know they were on campus and needed to know which building I was in. It was just like Mandy to drive an hour from Lincoln to Omaha without actually knowing where to pick me up. I responded to the text, then headed downstairs to the lobby to watch for them.

They pulled up in Mandy’s old Kia a couple of minutes later, with their windows rolled down, smiling and waving like lunatics. I smiled back and trotted down the sidewalk to meet them. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed them until they were right in front of me.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked as I buckled into the backseat.

“There’s a new ramen place we thought we’d try in the Old Market.”

It was a ten-minute drive to the restaurant, which turned out to be in a small space on the edge of the trendy downtown area. We placed our order at the counter and then sat in a booth toward the back.

“So, how’ve you been?” Mandy asked as she sipped her pop.

“Good.”

They exchanged a look.

“What?” I asked, feeling defensive.

“We’ve barely heard from you since the semester started.”

“What do you want me to say? You know I’m not a talker.”

“Honey, we know that.” Drea reached over and pulled my hand into hers. I couldn’t help but notice how much more delicate it felt compared to TJ’s. Somehow, my thoughts always managed to circle back to him. “But when you don’t give us more than a word or two, we get worried.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I figured you were busy.”

Her eyes softened. “You get that we care about you, right? Like we actually want to know how you’re doing.”

I did know that. Kind of. They’d never given me a reason to suspect they didn’t want me around. I just…had a hard time believing it sometimes. “I’m sorry,” I said, unsure what else to say.

Drea squeezed my hand. “So…tell us all the things. How are your classes? How’s your roommate?”

“Classes are good, I guess. I have all A s. My advisor says that even with the transfer, I should still be able to graduate a year from this spring.”

“That’s great news! Then we’ll be student teaching at the same time!” Mandy was studying to be an elementary school teacher.

Someone called my name from the counter and I hopped up to get our food, returning shortly with a tray laden with bowls of steaming ramen. If I’d thought the disruption to the conversation might be enough to move on to another topic besides me, I was mistaken.

“So what about your roommate? What’s he like?” Drea asked as she blew on her spoonful of soup.

A flush bloomed up my throat and into my cheeks as thoughts of yesterday’s jerk-off session flooded my mind. I could feel the heat radiating off my face like a sunburn.

Mandy gasped, eyes twinkling with excitement. “You’re blushing! You have a crush on him, don’t you?”

Damned fair skin. I’d never been able to hide a blush.

“No.” It might have been the most unconvincing “no” I’d ever uttered.

Drea narrowed her eyes but surprised me when her question went in a different direction. “What’s his major?”

“Theater education. But he has a music minor and he’s a dancer as well. He’s actually teaching dance classes right now.” I stopped, clamping my mouth shut, realizing I’d given them more than was necessary.

Both girls leaned forward, but it was Drea who asked, “Which studio?”

Mandy and Drea had danced in high school, but Drea was a business major with a dance minor, hoping to run her own studio someday. I tried to remember if TJ had ever mentioned where he taught. I didn’t think so, but I did remember seeing him in a hoodie the other day with a logo on it. D-something. “Dana’s School of Dance? Or Diana, maybe?”

Drea snapped her fingers. “Donna?”

“Yeah, that could be.”

“That’s a good studio. We competed against them a couple of times in high school.” I was filled with pride. Which was odd considering I’d had nothing to do with it. “But you said he’s a theater major? Is he doing a show this fall?”

“They’re doing Rent . He’s playing Roger.”

“No shit? That’s a great part! He must be really good.”

“I didn’t know you were into musicals,” I said, looking at Mandy.

“I was a dancer for The Music Man freshman year of high school, but I can’t sing for shit, so that was as far as I ever got. I love to watch them though.”

“Plus, Idina Menzel is hot as fuck in Rent ,” Drea added.

I had no idea who that was, but I figured I could take her word for it.

“So he’s heavily involved in performing arts. What else?”

“I don’t know.”

I wasn’t sure how to describe TJ. He was obviously kind. He’d done his best to take care of me Thursday night. He listened. Even surrounded by his family at his brother’s football game, he’d made me feel like every word I said was important. He had this way of making me feel seen, which often made me uncomfortable, but I was starting to realize that for the first time, maybe that wasn’t so bad. To be known. To be cared for.

I sighed, deciding I might as well rip off the Band-Aid before they launched a full-scale interrogation. “Okay, so maybe I have a crush on him.” Mandy squealed while Drea looked at me in that knowing way she had. Sometimes, I swore she was a sixty-year-old trapped in a twenty-year-old’s body. “He’s kind. And he listens. Like, really listens. He has this huge personality, and he’s friends with half the campus, but somehow still manages to make me feel like I’m important.”

“You are important.” Mandy looked at me earnestly.

I barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes, knowing that would only lead them to try to convince me of something I wasn’t entirely sure was true. It was easier to just agree. “I mean, I guess. But he brought me soup the other night when he thought I was sick and made me watch a movie with him.”

Drea frowned. “Thought you were sick?”

I sighed again, swiping my hand through my curls. “I had a bad anxiety day and skipped classes. I told him I was sick because it was easier than explaining.”

“You’re still taking your meds, though, right?”

“Yes, Mom,” I responded to Mandy but then turned and looked at Drea, who had been treated off and on for depression since her mom died six years ago. It was part of the reason they’d moved to Astaire. “You know meds help, but they aren’t a magic fix for mental health issues. Sometimes you just have a bad day.”

“Yeah. It sucks.”

“Truth.”

I took another spoonful of ramen, which had cooled off to room temperature while I’d been talking.

“So he brought you soup and made you watch a movie…” Mandy prompted, trying to get us back on track.

“I ended up explaining the anxiety thing, and he insisted we put on a movie and watch it together. It was like he magically knew what would help.”

“And did it help?”

I flushed again, thinking of the way he’d held me as we slept. It had been the safest I’d ever felt. And then I’d fucked my own fist the next day to thoughts of him like the creep I was. “Yes,” I said, ducking my head and slurping my noodles to avoid any further response.

“Jimmy? Is there something you’re not telling us?”

“Why would you say that?” I squeaked.

“Because you’re roughly the color of a tomato.”

“He might’ve-fallen-asleep-in-my-bed,” I mumbled, blending the words together in a jumble.

“He what?!” Mandy shrieked.

I glared at her. The folks at the next table were all staring at us in response to her outburst. “It’s not a big deal. We both fell asleep, and by morning, he was gone. It’s not like it was intentional.”

“You sure about that?” While Mandy had leaned in, eager to sink her teeth into this juicy development, Drea had leaned back, eyeing me shrewdly.

“Sure about what? That it wasn’t intentional? Absolutely. Why would he have slept in my bed on purpose?”

“What do you mean, why ? I think the obvious answer is to get into your pants .”

I scoffed, though the tips of my ears burned. “Absolutely not. It’s not like that. He doesn’t like me like that. No chance.”

“Why do you say, ‘no chance?’”

I stared at Drea. Why was this hard for her to comprehend? And why did she need me to humiliate myself by spelling out the obvious? Maybe because she and Mandy had been popular in high school. Co-captains of the dance team and student council officers. I’d never understood why they’d befriended me. “Guys like him aren’t interested in guys like me.”

“Why not?” Mandy persisted.

“Oh my god. Why are you both so pushy? It’s not that hard to understand.” I slammed my spoon down on my tray, though it was plastic, so it wasn’t nearly as gratifying as I wanted it to be. “There’s a reason I’ve never dated before. I’m a nerdy loner who barely knows how to talk to people and is prone to panic attacks. What the fuck would he want with me?” The table next to us was staring again, but this time, I was too agitated to care.

Drea sat forward, pushing her tray away from her so she could rest her forearms on the table and lean toward me. She had a fierce glint in her eye that frankly terrified me. “You have a beautiful soul, Jimmy. I see it. And so does Mandy. And I’m betting your roommate does too. You may have difficulty warming up to people, but when you do, when you let us in, it’s such a gift. Don’t discount his interest in you. Let him in.”

I blinked back the sudden rush of tears. It was sweet of her to say, and honestly, it meant the world to me, but I didn’t see how it could be true. At least not when it came to TJ. She hadn’t met him. She didn’t know he wasn’t your typical guy. He was…extraordinary.

“That’s very sweet of you to say, but…” My shoulders slumped, and I was suddenly very tired. I knew if I continued to look at Drea, I’d cry, so I turned toward Mandy. “Can we please just change the subject?”

Her eyes softened. “Yeah, we can talk about something else. But only after I tell you that I agree with Drea. Give him a chance. Or at least…be open to the possibility that he might be into you. Guys—even sweet guys—don’t climb into bed with someone just to watch a movie.”

The thing that fucked me up the most was that part of me wanted to believe her. These girls were my best friends, but at that moment, I hated them just a little bit for giving me hope.