Page 83 of B is for Beg

“But you did feed it?” I ask.

“Yeah, without fail thanks to my alarm. Gus lived to the ripe old age of three and a half.”

I don’t know much about how long pet hamsters live, but I’ll take his word that that’s a good age.

“Is the hamster the only reason they think that?”

Blake shakes his head. “You already know I’ve perfected the art of being late.”

I chuckle. “Yes.”

“And I was hopeless at getting homework done on time unless my parents stood over me. Which they did. They breathed down my neck to make sure I revised too. My brothers got to study in their rooms, but I had to sit at the dining room table, where Mum and Dad could keep an eye on me.”

“Did it work?”

“I got straight As in my GCSEs and A Levels.”

“Fucking hell, that’s amazing.”

He sighs and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “But then I went to uni, and my parents weren’t there to get on my case anymore, so I flunked out. Bright but lazy, that’s what all my teachers used to say about me.”

My chest tightens at the thought of that label being placed on Blake, doubly so that he was aware of it.

“But hey,” he says a little too cheerfully. “I don’t need a degree to model.”

“Do you regret it?”

Blake turns his head to look at me. “Flunking out of uni?”

“Yes.”

“Sometimes. I think, more than anything, I don’t like being seen as the failure of the family. I know that I’m not the most organised person in the universe and that I can be fairly scatty at times, but when it really matters, I come through.”

“I know you do, princess.” I can tell that by the way he’s following our rules. “I doubt your family think you’re a failure.”

Blake smiles sadly. “Oh, they do.”

“Do your brothers think that?”

“Not so much. They rib me about being hopeless and for not filling in Archie’s wall planner, but I know they don’t mean it. My parents, on the other hand…” He puffs his cheeks out. “They’re definitely disappointed in me.You could be doing so much more with your life,” he says, putting on a deeper voice.

My chest tightens painfully as I stare at the hurt ingrained on his face.

“You’re wasting your life standing in front of a camera,”he carries on in the same affected voice. “It’s not regular work, is it?”He changes his voice to a more feminine one.“What happens when you’re too old to model? What will you do then?”

No wonder he wants to please us. I make a mental note to tell him how amazing he is at every available opportunity.

He presses his hand over his eyes. “I’ve heard it all a hundred times.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re wasting your life. The camera loves you, and it will continue to love you as you get older. There are plenty of calls for older male models. I doubt you’ll ever have trouble finding work.”

“There’s a lot of competition, but I do okay. My brothers help me manage my money so that I’m not screwed when there’s no work going.”

“My mum thought I was wasting my time going into photography,” I say.

Blake moves his hand and stares at me. “Really?”

“Yes. She didn’t want me to spend Dad’s insurance money on a studio, because she was convinced I’d go bust in a year and lose it all. But look at me now. I have my own successful business, which brings in enough to rent this place and then some. Everyone’s idea of success is different, princess. Just because you’re not doing what your parents imagine you would doesn’t mean you’re not going to make them proud.”