Page 113 of B is for Beg

“When you get work,” Dad reminds me. “Which doesn’t seem to be very often. And let’s face it. You’ve never been very good at saving, Blake. If you had been, we wouldn’t have had to pay off your overdraft during your first term at university.”

I might have known they’d bring that up.Again. “I waseighteen.”

“And you haven’t grown up much since then.”

His harsh words add the fissure my heart can’t take. It shatters. I put my hand over my mouth and press hard to stop myself from sobbing out loud. I willnotgive them the satisfaction of knowing how much their words and their opinions hurt me.

“Archie and Corey have spent the last four years carrying you,” Dad goes on. “They’ve covered your share of the rent on several occasions, haven’t they?”

“I’ve always paid them back.”

I curse myself. I was too slow-witted to realise he’d asked a question until it was too late. He didn’t know that for a fact that Archie and Corey had helped me pay rent until I betrayed myself.

“There won’t be anyone to bail you out when you live alone,” Dad points out.

“Who says I’m going to live alone?” I’ve done it now.

“Who else are you going to live with?” Mum asks.

I hadn’t meant to tell them about Gabe and Calvin like this, but I can’t take my stupid words back.

“I’m in a relationship. I might move in with them.” What a fucking dumb thing to say. I have no clue if Gabe and Calvin would want that ever, let alone right now.

“Them?” Mum asks, her voice rising in pitch.

“Yeah. Them.”

“We raised you better than to cheat on someone,” Dad hisses down the phone.

“Cheat? What? Who said anything about cheating? I’m in a relationship with two guys. At the same time. We’re in a relationshiptogether.”

“That’s illegal,” Mum says in a quiet voice.

“No. Getting married to more than one person is illegal. Trust me, I’m not getting married to anyone.”

“No, and you won’t be able to either,” Mum snaps. “Or have kids. No one is going to let someone in a polygamous relationship adopt.”

“Adopt?” I shake my head, not caring that they can’t see me. “Mum, I’m a million miles away from thinking about kids.”

“That’s the trouble,” Dad says. “You’re a million miles away from doing anything responsible.”

“That’s not fair.” I don’t think I can hold my tears back much longer. I’m not sure why I’m still talking to my parents other than hanging up will only prove to them how useless I am.

“You failed university, you don’t have a stable job or income, and now you’re fooling about with two people at the same time? How is any of that responsible, Blake?”

“We’re not fooling about,” I whisper. “We’re in love.”

“Rubbish.”

I sniff as my emotional energy fails me. “So it’s okay for Archie to move in with someone who’s twenty-odd years older than him, but not okay for me to be in love with two amazing men?”

It’s wrong of me to drag Archie and Hamish into this argument. Hamish makes Archie so happy, and who gives a shit if he’s older? All that matters is that they’re in love. That’s all that should ever matter.

“You’re not mature enough to know what love is,” Dad tells me, ignoring my angry question. “You need to grow up and take some responsibility for your life, Blake.”

My hand shakes, and I drop the phone as tears drip down my cheeks. I can just about hear Dad’s voice as he carries on, but I can’t make out the words. I press my hands over my eyes, my shoulders shaking. I hate being the worthless one. Ihateit.

“Blake?” Corey puts his hand on my shoulder.