Page 120 of B is for Beg

“I went to art college to study photography. Then I worked as an assistant in a studio before using Dad’s insurance money to open my own.” I put my hand over Blake’s. “There are as many different paths to a job as there are stars in the sky.”

Blake laughs, although the sound is fragile and watery.

“Probably more,” Gabe says. “For what it’s worth, baby boy, I think you’ll do just fine living alone. You’re fully aware that your income can be hit and miss, and I know you’ll be sensible when it comes to putting money away to cover rent, bills, and food. I’d be happy to go over your income with you, but only if you want me to. I know you don’t need my help to manage your finances, but having someone confirm you’re doing the right things might lift you up a little.”

“I’d like that, Daddy, thank you.”

Gabe moves his stare from Blake to meet mine, his eyes seeking permission from me.

I nod.

“But you don’t have to live alone,” Gabe says tentatively.

“I found Corey and Lexi a great little house. They both love it. It’s not big enough for me too, so I kinda do.”

“We were talking about living with us, princess,” I say.

Blake’s stare flicks between us like he’s watching a tennis match.

“But only if you’re ready to take that step,” Gabe says. “We were going to ask you if you wanted to when we saw you tomorrow, but now feels like a better time to pop the question. To be clear, we’re not asking you out of pity.”

“Or because we think you can’t cope alone,” I add. “Because we know damn well you can.”

“And while we want to take care of you as our boy, when it comes to money, we’d all be equal partners,” Gabe says. “You’d have to pay a third of the rent and bills, just like the two of us.”

“No free rides, princess, unless it’s on our cocks.”

Blake laughs properly this time, but his laughter fades far too quickly as anguish returns to his face. “How can you believe in me when my parents don’t?”

“I think you’ve already figured that out,” Gabe says. “They see you as the teenager they bailed out at eighteen, not the brilliant young man you’ve become.”

“And I suspect they’re doing a bad job of doling out tough love,” I say. “They’re worried you won’t cope, but rather than expressing their concern in a way that builds you up, they’ve accidentally torn you down instead.”

“They weren’t happy about us,” Blake whispers. “Me dating two people was a step too far for them. Again, it’s not what they had planned for me.”

“Whatdothey want for you?” Gabe asks.

“A degree, followed by a nine-to-five job, preferably a white-collar one. Good income. Marriage. Kids.” He chuckles humourlessly. “Archie and Corey have managed two out of three between them. They both have good jobs, and Corey has Lexi. I can’t see Archie and Hamish getting married, though.”

“Me neither,” Gabe agrees.

“That’s your parents’ dream, princess,” I say. “It doesn’t have to be yours.”

“I just want to be happy,” Blake whispers. “And to not feel like a constant disappointment. I don’t want a white-collar job. I don’t want to do a degree just for the sake of it. I don’t want kids. I don’t need a ring on my finger, a piece of paper, and a crazy expensive party to know I love someone and that they love me back. I’m sorry if you want any of that,” he adds. “But I don’t, and I’m not sure I ever will. If that means you want to…” He cries hard again instead of finishing his sentence.

Gabe puts his hand on Blake’s cheek. “We love you, baby boy. And we don’t need a ring, a piece of paper, and an expensive party to know that either.”

“And kids?” Blake asks, staring up at the stars once more. “Mum was quick to point out that people in a poly relationship won’t be allowed to adopt.”

“I’ve never even thought about having kids,” I confess. “Which probably means it’s not something I want or need.”

“I don’t want kids,” Gabe says.

“But you were brilliant with Lexi,” Blake says. “So I thought…”

“You’reamazing with Lexi,” Gabe points out. “That doesn’t automatically mean you want to be a dad.”

“True…”