Page 56 of Alpha Mates

“Then what was it?” he snaps back.

“I—”

The words stick on the tip of my tongue. I know what I want to say, but I still hesitate.

A real alpha is never scared. My father’s voice hisses in my mind, halting the words.

“I missed you today,” Julian whispers, peering at me. “I just missed you. I know I was the one who asked for space, but I wanted to be with you all day. In the car, it felt right, so I tried to—” He stops as his eyes fill again.

“I was scared,” I admit, the pain in his voice washes everything else away, leaving only him. “I missed you too. From the moment you got out of the car this morning, I missed you.” The confession tumbles out, and the rest soon comes with it. “I spent the whole day thinking about you.”

I watch hope slip into his wide eyes, slowly at first but growing so quickly that I have to continue. “All I wanted was more of this morning, but you told me to stay away, so I did, and by lunch, I was a fucking mess because of it.”

His arms fall, but I don’t let go. “I knew I couldn’t control myself around you, so I left. I thought I just needed time to calm down, but in the car—”

Julian ducks his head, but I release one of his hands to lift his chin, forcing him to look at me. “It was good,” I promise. “It was sofuckinggood … but it just happened too quickly. I hadn’t thought of us kissing, so when you tried, I panicked. I didn’t know if I was ready—or if I’d be able to stop if you wanted to. It wasn’t you. I was just … scared.”

The admission tries to fill me with shame, but as the hurt leaves Julian’s eyes, it follows suit. Closing my eyes, I rest my forehead against his and whisper the last remaining truth that’s been haunting me for days.

“My desire for you is slowly making the hatred go away, and it’s scaring me how much I want you. Whenever I see you, I want to tear your clothes off, and I feel like I can barely breathe when you smile at me.” Julian draws a sharp breath, and I step closer. “It’s scaring me how all the things I used to hate about you are becoming the things I like. I want you, Julian. So much that it hurts, andthatfuckingscares me.”

I let the air caged in my lungs free as I open my eyes, and Julian’s—so wide now that it’s almost comical—reveal shock. That and the quiet hopefulness that makes me its prisoner.

“I get scared too, Aiden,” he whispers, somehow admitting this truth as easily as the rest. “This whole thing is scary. Especially with the way I’m starting to feel about you.”

My body sways towards him, wanting so much. “And how do you feel about me?”

Julian rolls his eyes, but his smile still grows for me. “I think the fact that I wanted to kiss you says enough.”

“Wanted?” I ask, before I can think better of it.

“Want,” he corrects boldly while his hands slip from mine to settle on my waist. “I want to kiss you. I want to do a lot of things, and it’s all terrifying because I want to do them with you. But that doesn’t change the fact that I want them.” His voice steadies with enough courage for both of us. “I’m sorry if I pushed you too far. If you’re not ready—”

“I’m ready,” I dismiss before he dares to finish.

Julian’s cheeks heat a little as he nods. “Then the next time you feel scared or nervous, remember I’m in the same boat,” he says with a pointed look. “We’re in this together, which means we can talk about it.”

In this together.I can’t remember the last time I was in anything with anyone. And talk? The only person I really talked to about anything serious was Emitt, and even then, I was careful. I didn’t think Julian was any better with his friends, but he made being open with each other sound so easy andnice.

“I’ll try,” I say, and I mean it. “I can try.”

“I can work with that,” he agrees, leaning in as my thumb brushes his jaw.

“But for us to talk about it, you can’t run off like Cinderella.”

Julian groans, trying to step back, but I crowd his space. “Or at least leave a shoe behind when you do. That’s a fair ask.”

“Goddess, I hate you,” he swears, despite his blooming smile. His attention burns me in the best way. “I can’t believe I’m starting to like an idiot like you.”

I open my mouth, a retort at the ready, but Julian wraps a hand around my neck and pulls me in before I can say a word.

The world comes to a stop, then becomes nothing at all, as Julian’s lips press against mine. It’s like something goes off inside of me, like I’m struck by lightning, because as he kisses me, electricity races straight into my heart.

My eyes fall shut and Julian surges closer, sliding his fingers into my hair and those soft lips across mine, already claiming me like I’d been aching to claim him. It’s enough to break my restraint. I grab his waist, kissing him back with all the need I’ve kept locked inside, except I don’t bother holding back. Julianmoansfor me and my knees nearly buckle.

Our lips move in sync, briefly learning, just slightly tentative, before moulding together as if we’ve done this before, as if he’s been living in the same dreams as me.

I slide my tongue over the seam of his lips, and Julian lets a pleasured hum escape before one of his hands falls to tug me in by my hips. He brazenly grinds me against him, and I get lost in the pleasure of the friction and Julian being the one to give it to me. I shudder and groan before I sink my teeth into his bottom lip, demanding entrance to the mouth that was quickly becoming my undoing.