Page 350 of Alpha Mates

“Oliver was selfish,” I whisper as the cracks cave in and shatter what’s left of me.

I suck in a breath, but my lungs still burn as I stare unseeing at my parents. Parents who never loved me as they should, who drove the only person whodidlove me away … but no, that isn’t true. If Oliver loved me the way I thought he did, then he wouldn’t have left. But he did. Because he was no better than them.

The brother I idolised wasn’t real. That brother would have never joined forces with some crazed fanatic who took children—no matter how badly he wanted his “freedom.” And he would’ve never left me behind with the same monsters he was trying to escape, forcing me to take his place because he didn’t have the strength to change things for himself.

But he had. And now he’s gone, and they’re still here, and it might as well have been like none of them existed because none of them ever really loved me.

“He wasn’t good,” I mumble as my world falls apart around me.

I never had a family, but I thought I had Oliver. Even when he was gone, I had his memories and his support, his love and kindness. He was who I wanted to be, who I wanted to make proud. He was everything.

But that wasn’t real. What was is dead, and there’s nothing left.

“He said … he wanted freedom,” I relay with a hoarse chuckle that only worsens the ache in my chest. “From you, from the pack, from everything. So he went out there to find it and faked his death so that he could have it.”

I look up at them, gaze desperate. “Isn’t that fucked up?”

“Julian,” my father chides, and I can’t help but laugh again for real this time. I laugh so hard that the tears in my eyes spill over.

“Really? That’s what you have a problem with?” I wipe my face so I can study him. “Me cursing? Not that your first child chose to live with rogues rather than endure life with you?” I shake my head, eyes gleaming. “You’re fucking unbelievable.”

Rendered speechless, they look at me as if I’ve offended them, as ifIam disappointingthem. It’s nothing new. All I’d ever done is disappoint, and disappoint, even after Oliver was revealed to be a crazy rogue,Iam still the disappointment.

“I can’t believe we’re even doing this,” I whisper as another laugh escapes. I can’t stop them. It’s all so sad and so absurd that I have to laugh, have to do something with all the feelings inside of me. “You should be upset—weshould be mourning him, and instead, you’re fucking relieved? Do you realise how sick that is?”

“Keep your voice down,” my mother hisses, casting a glance down the hallway as if someone would step out at any moment to witness this.

“I don’t have to!” I snap, growing louder just out of spite. “I don’t have to do anything you say, I’m your alpha first, not your child—you two saw to that, and yet you keep forgetting when you want something. Or worse, you try to manipulate me with the one thing I always wanted from you.”

Love.

That’s how it went between us. Every few months, they rolled around to do something or say something that decimated my peace. And even though I resisted, their scheming endured, and I allowed it because some part of me wanted to preserve my relationship with them.

They were the only family I had left, and even though I wasn’t the son they expected to become alpha, I’d done everything in my power to be the best alpha I could be for them and my pack. But nothing I did was ever enough. It didn’t compare tohim,and they didn’t even love him—not enough to make him feel like he didn’t have to leave just to learn how to breathe.

They weren’t parents, they were people—horrible, selfish people, and they know it too.

“We’re not even a family. We’ve never been,” I muse as my clouded gaze shifts between them. “We share blood, but that’s it.”

Childish resentments rise, and I don’t try to shove them down. What was the use anymore?

“You’reparasitic,” I spit. “Every time I see you, all I feel is misery, because this family is a fucking cesspit.”

“That’s enough,” my father growls.

But I cut it off with my own as I step into his space.

“No, it’s not,” I snarl, canines dropping. “It’s not nearly enough.”

“Julian!” my mother cries, trying to pull me back—but I’m stronger than both of them now, and they know it. My father stands tall, puffing out his chest, but he wisely stays where he is.

Silence falls between us, and it’s thick enough to suffocate, but what’s new?

“I’m done with you,” I say as I look between those awful, amber eyes, and the icy reflection of mine. “You ruined him—youruined, Oliver!” My voice cracks as I fist my hands at my sides. “Youruined our family from the start, and I’m tired of you trying to ruin me.”

“You’re not thinking clearly, Julian,” my mother whispers, her hands still on me, trying to pull me back. Her expression is soft, caring, hopeful … motherly. But her nails dig into my skin, and I can feel her anger flaring on the other side of our meagre bond.

The crevice between us is so large that her emotions feel like a dull echo, a soft buzz that fades as quickly as it forms.