Page 262 of Alpha Mates

“I just feel pain,” I whisper, clutching at my chest. “It h-hurts.”

“I know,” he says while he strokes my cheek. A small whimper slips past my lips when I find myself leaning into his palm. “Let me fix this.”

Easy, isn’t it? To say that things can be fixed?

Maybe they could, but this cold sadness doesn’tfeellike something anyone could mend. The crater in my chest, the tear in our bond, it didn’t feel reparable, so what’s the point of pretending that it is?

Alex, please don’t,Julian begs, his words reaching me for the first time in what must be weeks.I’m sorry he hurt you. I’m sorry it hurts so much, but I need you. I need you.

Guilt tears at my chest, making it harder to breathe as he fills my senses.

I’d tried to stay strong for him, to keep us going when he couldn’t, but it had all been too much. It had felt like drowning, and at some point, I stopped fighting the tide. I shouldn’t have, not with Julian, but it was all too much.

It’ll get better with time,Julian promises desperately.I promise it will. I’ll make sure it does.

Weak tenderness creeps into my heart at his solemn words. I know he means them. Max is my mate, but Julian shares my soul. His truths are mine, his promises made by our tongue. He would not break them.

“Let me love you,” Max begs, those wet eyes trying to keep hold of mine. “Let me love you.”

My heart lurches within his piercing grasp.

“I won’t make you regret it,” he vows earnestly. “I won’t ever hurt you like this again. I won’t. I promise.”

I promise.

I promise.

I promise.

The words ring in my ears like a bad opus.

“The lasttime you promised that you would never leave me, you looked at me the same way,” I whisper as I slide my hands over his. “You looked at mejust like this—like you held all the love in the world and reserved it just for me.” I grip his fingers, allowing myself to relish in their warmth for only a moment before I peel them away. “And then you left me.”

“Alex …” Max breathes my name like a prayer.

“I’ll stay. For Julian,” I tell him, standing, wiping my face clean. “I’ll deal with this—for him. I’ll live with this pain—for him. Not for you.”

The weight of my words hits him, but they do nothing to me with the agony already roiling inside. Besides, the relief that ruptures out of Julian is enough to mute everything else. For now.

I focus on that as I reach for him, begging him to take control. He hesitates, afraid that I won’t linger if he does, but our trust is a deep thing. He takes hold of me and doesn’t let go.

“Alex, please!” Max tries as he feels me fading, but it’s too late.

I’ve been the fool, the one to put us before our other halves. We were wolves first: the council to our humans, their protectors and companions. Max understood that. Which was why he’d left, because Aiden needed him.

Well, I understand that now, too. I would stay, because Julian needed me, not because of him.

Our other halves first. As it was meant to be.

Chapter 53

Aiden

Ear pressed to Julian’s chest, I listen, tracking the steady thump of his heartbeat. It doesn’t strain or slow, even though he’s limp in my arms.

Tell me you’re okay.I whisper the words through our bond, but no matter how hard I will him to open his eyes, to answer me, he remains asleep.

When Max pushed me back to the forefront, the last thing I expected was to find my mate unconscious. More than that, it was the tears falling that weren’t my own, dripping over his already-mournful face. A softer version of that expression lingers now as I straighten and cup his cheek.