Page 159 of Alpha Mates

I laugh, and the sound is slightly manic. “I’m not doing that.”

He swivels to look at me, and he seems genuinely surprised by my reaction, which yeah, fair enough. I literally went bungee jumping yesterday, but this is different. This isn’t my life on the line, it’s his, and that is far more precious.

“You are seeing what I’m seeing, right?” I gesture to the serpent that goes zooming past us. It’s like an electric eel on steroids. “Right?!”

“It’s safe,” he replies, but the look the guy gives me makes it seem anything but.

I shake my head. “No way, Julian.”

Jewels eyes me for a moment longer before he nods. “That’s fine. If you don’t want to do it, I won’t force you. I’ll do it by myself.” He turns, looking at the glass with a smile as if one of the serpents hasn’t been consistently crashing its nose into the glass to get at us.

“No way,” I say to both my mate and the psycho working this station as he grabs a wetsuit off a hook. “Julian, no.”

“No?” he echoes, and he laughs too, but there’s no humour in it. His eyes narrow when they focus on me. “I want to try this, so I’m going to.”

He says simply as though that’s all there is to it. As if this is just a walk in the park, and not a risk to his life. A life I care very, very much about. And shit—I really do care about Julian. That isn’t new, of course I care about him. What is new is realising how much I do.

“I’ll do the shark one,” Julian offers, and I know it’s him trying to compromise, but it still scares the shit out of me. It’s a great white, and I’ve seen some of those shark movies.

“Please don’t,” I beg, and he frowns. I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly so I don’t look crazy as I step towards him. “Julian, this is dangerous.”

“What you did yesterday was dangerous,” he retorts with another infuriating shrug. “And this isn’t up to you, Aiden.”

He steps forward, the matter done for him. I grab his arm. “Julian—”

“I’m doing this, Aiden.” He wrenches his arm free, and with a warning glare, he leaves me where I am and follows after the waiting employee. The guy talks him through the process, and there are a bunch of safety procedures that just make the sirens in my head sound louder.

What if something goes wrong? What if something happens to him? What would I say to the pack then? What wouldIdo then?

My stomach roils as an uncomfortable shiver makes hives break out across my skin.

Stepping forward quickly, I grab Julian as the guy hands him the wetsuit. He frowns at me, no longer confused, now just annoyed.

“Aiden, you’re overreacting,” he says under his breath. “I’m going to be in a protected cage. I’ll be fine.”

“But what if you’re not?” I hiss back. “Then what happens with the pack?”

Julian stills, his eyes hardening with ice and anger. I feel it in our bond, feel the swell of hurt as he shoves my hand away.

“That’s not fucking fair,” he grinds out past clenched teeth. “You get to do what you want and try new things, but when it’s my turn, suddenly it’s about the pack?”

“No,” I breathe, shaking my head as panic clogs my throat. “No, that’s not what I meant. Just—” Goddess, what are the right words? “Just don’t—” Don’t do it. “I don’t want to watch you do it.”

“Then go, Aiden.”

My shoulders fall, if only from the shock of his words, or rather, the harshness he delivers them with. I stare at him, and he stares back, equally stunned, but in no mood to fix them.

“Fine,” I mutter, stepping back, swallowing the anger and the hurt.

“You can’t be mad at me for wanting to try something,” he calls after me, but I keep walking. “Seriously, Aiden, this is ridiculous!” His voice chases me, and unease wells in the bond. “Fine!”

It’s the last thing I hear him yell before I leave the room. He doesn’t come after me.

I clench my fists at my sides, resisting the urge to rub a hand over my chest. It’d do nothing to ease the pain growing there, just like leaving did nothing to ease my nerves.

My eyes burn, fingers ache, but no.

I need to hit something.