Page 29 of Alpha Mates

“I said, hold still!”

The hot flashes come back. The ones that scorch my skin, make my mind swim away, and make sure that I can’t move at all.They usually stopped there. They’re not supposed to come with fingers wrapping around my neck.

My eyes snap open, but it’s still dark—always dark—until the red eyes glow above me, and the darkness blurs with the red.

Whimpering, I try to scramble away. They squeeze harder.

My body jerks on its own, moving this time not to escape, but to find air. But there’s nothing but the darkness and the cold straps that bite into my wrists and legs, each suffocating me like the fingers wrapped around my throat.

I feel my tears wetting my face again. Alphas don’t cry, but I can’t stop them. Maybe I’m not strong enough to be an alpha. Maybe that’s why I’m here. I should feel sad, but I don’t. I can’t, when Goddess’s light is here again, warmer now and more inviting than it had been before.

I used to shy away from it, wanting to fight like Dad said alphas should. But this time, I reach for it, desperate to have its warmth take me away from all the cold, but it draws away before I can touch it, sending me back to the dark.

“Soon, but not now. We still have so much to do.”

I wake trying to scream, but my body remains paralysed as if it were still bleeding out on that cold table.

I’m used to the routine by now. I know that I’m awake and my body is just taking a little longer to wake from my nightmare, but knowing doesn’t stop my panic. It doesn’t stop me from searching for those red eyes that always come before the pain.

But there are no red eyes or punishing hands. Just early morning light and the feel of something plastering me to the bed.Thatis different. Usually, Ifeltas though I was locked in place. It’s supposed to be in my head, but I can feel a weight on my chest that’s too real to be imagined.

“Hold still.”

Terror tightens my lungs, turning each breath I take into a strained gasp while I try to move, but my muscles refuse to work. They stay glued to the bed while my world blurs at the edges.

“Hold. Still.”

I’m hyperventilating, breathing so hard I know I’m about to pass out, my frantic eyes searching for the cause, settling on—

Julian.

It’s only … Julian. Julian Heil, holding onto me while he slept as if he belongs here.

I remembered climbing into an empty bed and feeling him eventually doing the same, but he’d been on the other side of the bed when I’d fallen asleep. Yet at some point, our legs had tangled beneath the sheets and stayed there, just like his warm hand splayed over my bare chest. And it isn’t just his doing. I can feelmyarm wrapped around his waist,myfingers settled over his hip, keeping him close.

We’re … I mean. We’re fucking cuddling.

What the actual fuck.

My heart hammers, struggling to function with the heady scent of my mate right under my nose. Not to mention, his warmth. Goddess, he’s so warm and he feels so damn right in my arms.

I try to shrug the pleasure off, but the longer I stare at the golden head tucked comfortably into the crook of my neck, the more strained my breaths become, only this time, it’s for entirely different reasons.

Julian Heil is sleeping in my arms, and I … I stare at him.

In his sleep, Julian doesn’t wear the frown that I figured was permanent. Instead, there’s a relaxed, peaceful expression that makes him look …

I’m grateful I can’t put it into words.

My greedy gaze slips lower again, noting the way Julian lays over me, possessively claiming my body with his own. I try to ignore the pleasure it sprouts inside me, but there’s no ignoring Julian. Not now, with his steady breaths brushing against my neck, making every cell in my body come alive.

He smells fantastic, Max purrs without nearly as much shame as he should feel—asIshould feel.

He is Julian. Julian Heil!I remind him and myself.The second I can move again, I’m stopping this.

Fair enough, but there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it until then,Max reasons, ever the bad influence.No one would even know.

I would know, Max.